Remember Me
by Ness13
Summary: No matter for how long you run, deep down you're still the same person, right? Things don't always go as envisioned.
1. Preface

The blue sky that she had known so well was gone and the familiar gray, cloudy, sky made its presence known. The air was muggy and the ground was wet, meaning it probably had rained. She sighed, tightening her hold on the steering wheel, as she entered Forks once more after so long. Her body was torn between an unpleasant, stabbing, sensation and a spark of rejoice.

"Bella." Called Alice from the passenger seat of the car, noticing her cousin had faded out for a moment. She had that long distant look in her eye that she got when she became pensive. Bella turned to look at her and tossed her a soft smile.

"Sorry, I just spaced." She replied and turned her eyes back on the road, but Alice wasn't convinced. She had a hunch that it had to do with this place; after all, Bella hadn't been here in a long time.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Al," Bella flickered her eyes to her. "I have to come."

"Not that." Alice argued, rolling her eyes. "I meant, are you okay to drive? You keep spacing out and I don't want to end up on the eleven o'clock news."

"Your dad wouldn't be too happy." Bella's lips twitched as she remembered her uncle Arnold, or rather—Aro—as he preferred to be called. He said it gave him the authority he didn't have with his real name. Alice reminded Bella of Aro a lot, with their pale skin and dark, raven, hair. However, she had gotten her sweet, soft, features from her mother. "I'm okay." Bella insisted.

She saw as the roads became less cluttered meaning she was getting closer to the town. There was never any traffic here because the population of this place was minimal. There was a loud thudding sound on her windshield and she noticed it had started to rain.

 _So typical._ She thought ruefully as she turned on the windshield wipers to help clear her vision. The road she was on led her to two destinations that she often recurred in her younger years. The two she had known how to get to with any form of transportation. At the end of the road, she turned right instead of left, slicing the connection she formed in her mind. She was being silly and stupid and she blamed the air for making her brain overthink.

She glanced over to see her cousin twirling her white iPhone in her hand like a ravaged woman, a pout on her lips and a crease between her brows.

"James?" Bella questioned as nonchalantly as she could so she wouldn't start the moping waterworks. Alice's frown deepened slightly and she stopped twirling her phone, plucking it into her oversized tote bag.

"Nothing." She replied simply without further information. Although, Bella didn't need it. She knew that Alice was heartbroken over her breakup with her boyfriend of two years, James. They had been a wonderful couple, he always took care of her and showed as much attention as possible and she would always beam with happiness.

That happiness waned when James suddenly changed towards her. Bella saw it unfold like a sad tragedy in front of her. One day she came back with swollen, red, eyes and a trembling lip. Bella didn't need to ask, she merely grabbed her cousin and pulled her into a tight hug, trying to give her some sort of solace. Alice had always been there for Bella so she was more than happy to be there for her when she really needed it. That was about a month ago, but Alice still held onto the hope that he might return for her.

Bella knew that Alice needed a moment, so she turned her face back to the road and hummed along to the music that was playing on the radio at that moment. It had a catchy tune and she needed some sort of distraction for what was to come. She couldn't deny Esme anything and although every bone in her body screamed not to give in, her heart immediately agreed. She was returning to the place where she was the most _popular_ yet the biggest loser. The problem was, she didn't know what she was re-summoning.


	2. Chapter 1

I'm glad to welcome you back. As you can already tell, this story is quite different from the rest of the one's I've written. It's not as lighthearted as any other one. I hope you all enjoy this if you read **Remember Me.**

Also there is one important detail:

This story is told entirely from Edward's Point Of View. Unlike my other stories, I won't be switching from multiple character perspectives. This story is told solely from Edward's perspective since I thought it would be a good idea to solely explore the mind of the male character for once. For future reference, if there's ever any sort of switch in perspective in a chapter it will be due to a flashback.

So please, read and enjoy it. Send me comments, feedback or suggestions. Even theories. I'll see you guys soon with another update, I'll hope you will all embark with me on this new journey.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

I pulled on my collar, popping open the top two buttons, to loosen the hold it had on my neck. It was raining, like it fucking always was. Rattling the keys through my door, I was met with the smell of apple pie floating in the air in a leisurely fashion. It smelled mouthwatering and suddenly my main emotion was hunger, not anger. I heard humming from the kitchen and walked in to see my mother with an apron around her torso and her hair pulled into an elegant chignon.

"Hi mom," I greeted and she straightened like lightening.

"Oh Edward," She breathed, pressing a hand over her heart. "You scared me." I noticed she was wearing her pearls and I frowned. She only wore those pearls for a special event. Did I miss someone's birthday? I doubt it; Emmett's passed a month ago.

"Why the pie and the pearls?"

"We have company." She responded with an easy smile painting her features. There was a glint in her eyes that confused me. "Emmett and Rose should be here soon." She got all dolled up for them? She turned, fitting an oven-mitt over her hand, and reached into the oven to take out the source of tantalizing smells. It was smoking right on the surface meaning that it was perfect temperature. "Why are you home early?"

"Finished presenting my project." The work plan had gone as expected but Eric's lack to accept the deal could piss anyone off. I saw her lips rub together and I suddenly felt like she didn't want me here. Taps of expensive Italian soles alerted me and I turned to see my father walking down the stairs, fixing his sweater.

"Edward, you're home early." He noted with surprise in his voice. _Is it really that alarming that I'm home for once?_

"Dad." I gave him a handshake and a quick hug. His emerald green eyes were drooping slightly and I imagined that it had to do with his overnight shift at the hospital.

"Carlisle, could you please bring out the wine glasses?" Esme asked kindly and he immediately nodded, walking towards the cabinets. I yawned and drummed my fingers on the marble island top. The door instantly opened and I heard the loud announcement, giving away the person instantly.

"We're back." Emmett's loud voice echoed through the house and his steps came closer until he walked through the door, damp curls and a dimpled smile. We hugged it out and he slapped my back once, hard. He seemed to forget that he was once a gym freak, going twice a day, six times a week and was therefore able to hurt anything.

Behind him appeared his slender opposite, Rosalie. She was tall with long legs, pale skin, blonde hair that swirled with shine and smoke, gray, eyes. She had a wonderful figure that she's kept in shape since I've known her and she was always well groomed. A warm smile painted across her face and she gave me a hug, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Welcome back." I said and she wrapped her hand around Emmett's bicep, displaying her glinting diamond that accompanied the platinum wedding band. Emmett took a noisy whiff and let loose another grin.

"Is that pie I smell, aunt Esme?" She laughed and nodded. "Good because Rose and I worked up an appetite." Some things never changed; he was always hungry.

The gray cloud loomed darkly over and let the rain pour down onto the pavement, making a crackling noise every time. All I wanted was pie, a shower and sleep. Rosalie flitted to help Esme, buzzing lowly probably about some gossip they heard.

"You look exhausted." Emmett noted, pulling up a stool and sitting down beside me.

"Beyond." I rubbed a hand at the back of my neck to try and loosen the knots. A cigarette was probably something else I needed. Something to relieve the stress.

"I'm surprised you're home." I slanted my eyes to him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're usually out until later." I shrugged.

"I wanted to be home, I didn't think it was a sin." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't get your panties in a twist." He brushed off and I heard Carlisle coming back into the kitchen with a few beer bottles. The offered one, making the glass clink together, noisily. "Yes, please." Emmett took it without hesitation, expertly flicking off the bottle caps, handing me my beer. He held up his bottle in suggestion and I raised mine to his, clinking them. "Cheers."

"Cheers." I put my lips to the ice cold rim and felt the barley-flavored liquid roll down my throat. It was slightly relaxing but it's not the usual drinks I go for. _Anything's better than nothing._ "You and Rose seem to be doing well."

"We are. She's happy teaching the kids at school, she says their smiles are rewarding." She was a first grade teacher, meaning she dealt with teaching kids how to read and cut and spell.

"She's always liked kids." I murmured against the rim, when I heard a knock at the door. I frowned instantly and glanced towards the living room where Carlisle walked off to. "Aren't you the guests?" Emmett stayed quiet, tilting his beer bottle from side to side.

"Welcome, I'm so glad to see you." Carlisle's informality piqued my interest. His steps were getting closer and his voice was getting louder as he rounded the corner, the person a few steps behind him.

"It smells like Esme's pie." That voice. My heart stopped, my eyes widened, and my breathing ceased. It was as if everything around me halted for the moment and I was staring at some ridiculously corny movie.

Behind Carlisle walked in the one girl I could pinpoint from a mile away. She was just as I remembered her, but yet, strangely different. She was fully developed now, with curves in their right places. Her hair was still long but it was lightened a few shades of brown from its traditional mahogany. Her skin was still fair but it wasn't so milky anymore; it had the faint tinge of a fading tan. The only unchanging feature was her eyes. They were still the burning hazel that lit up the room with their golden spark.

"What the actual fuck." I spit out without thinking, making all eyes, including hers, turn to me. "Bella." Her eyes widened fractionally before she composed herself.

"Edward." She gave me a curt nod and then turned to look at Esme who completely enveloped herself in Bella's aura. "Esme, I'm so happy to see you." Esme's smile was blinding as she took in all of Bella.

"You look absolutely divine, my sweet darling." Her voice was high-pitched and excited. _She's right_ , I thought. She looked better than I could have ever imagined. Her answering smile was exalting and she pressed herself against Esme. "I've missed you."

"And I missed you." Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment before pulling back and walking towards Emmett, who picked her up in his arms and twirled her around.

"Look at you!" He declared with shining eyes. "Finally!" He boomed and she laughed. He took a step to the side, to allow his wife to walk one step ahead with happiness radiating off her body. Her smile was pearly and her cheekbones were lifted highly.

Rose threw her arms around Bella's smaller form, bending slightly to hug her. Bella's eyes glittered with familiarity and love as she wrapped her own slender arms around Rose. The two best friends reunited once more.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this!" Rose squealed like a little girl, her aura contagious. "Esme's right. Divine is a word that falls short." Her eyes scanned over Bella quickly and instead of blushing like she normally would, she giggled into her hand, the sound like tinkling bells.

She turned and I continued to study her. She was encased in a pair of her traditional jeans, except these were skinnies and they showed off her physique. She wore a silk, long sleeved, blouse and on her feet were a pair of heels that added to her small frame.

Her eyes turned, scanning me, but she kept her distance and didn't bother to say a word. I couldn't help but feel slightly stung by her indifference after so many years. She would've never done this back in the day, she would've ran to me and thrown her tiny arms around my neck in a 'proper greeting' as she called it.

"Esme." She said softly. "Let me help you with something." Esme immediately shook her head and untied the apron, placing it softly on top of the countertop.

"No such thing." She countered. "You are my guest."

"But—"

"Besides, everything's all done." A mischievous glint sparkled in Esme's eyes and I realized she must've purposely baked ahead of time so that Bella didn't have anything to help with. As expected, Bella's lips pursed before she sighed in resignation.

"Let me see!" She suddenly spluttered happily, grasping Rosalie's left hand in both of hers, spreading her fingers to get a good look at the shining rock on her finger. "It's gorgeous." She said dreamily and Rose's answering smile was one of confidence. She loved showing off her engagement ring and would frequently be caught mid-conversation going on about it. Her smile waned for a moment as she stared down at Bella.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and Bella's head lifted in response.

"Sorry? For what?" Esme gave Carlisle the wine and then proceeded to grab the pie, walking in her towering stilettoes, to the dining room. She was going to inspect that all the silverware was in its correct place and that the lighting was perfect for the occasion. She was a woman who prided herself in the tiny details and would often check every inch of something before it was put to display. Today seemed to be no exception.

"For the wedding." Rose seemed so ashamed to say it. _That's right,_ I thought, _Bella never came for the wedding._ Bella wrinkled her nose but otherwise had no negative reaction.

"I understand, don't excuse yourself. I don't blame you." I could read it in her eyes why she didn't feel offended, it's as if they were screaming _'I haven't been around'_. At the thought, I picked up my beer and swung it for another sip, my eyes never removing off of her.

"So after eight years, you're our guest of honor?" I heard the sarcasm rolling off my tongue in my own ears. She glanced in my direction and shrugged.

"Clearly." She replied shortly. Emmett's eyes grew wary as he stared between me and her. Rose bit her lip, giving me a subtle shake of her head. Everyone was on their toes but I remained seated as calmly as possible while I continuously stared at her. I half-expected her to start squirming as she usually did, in her old black converses, but instead she stared straight at me, without so much as a twitch.

The staring went on for another thirty seconds, the heavy ticking of the clock heard throughout the house. Her eyes weren't blazing but rather controlled behind a thick mask. She was hiding something that much I could tell, but I had no idea what it was.

"Edward." Emmett warned slowly but I barely looked his way, my eyes pinned to Bella's form. Rosalie opened her mouth to say something when Esme called.

"Pie!" Rosalie peeled herself from Bella and reluctantly walked to Emmett so they could make their way to the kitchen, their quiet whispering trailing along behind them. Bella and I stayed for another minute, our eye contact still intact, but we remained silent.

"You look different." I observed, taking another drag from the bottle.

"As do all of you." I shrugged, tilting the beer bottle in my hand for lack of words. My throat was parched and my usually sharp tongue was lied still without a single thing to stay. The sounds of heels clicking alerted me to her departure from the kitchen into the dining room. I frowned but otherwise made my way to the table where everyone sat, taking my place directly in front of her.

Esme had an equally proportioned part on everyone's plate matched with a glass filled with white wine. Linen napkins lay opened and the appropriate silverware was directly on top. I removed my suit jacket and placed it on the couch closest to the table. It was silent, the room filled with the semi-quiet chews, clanking silverware and soft tapping of wine glasses. The aura was too quiet that it was sickening and I was slowly driving myself mad.

"Bella, what brings you here after so _long_?" I picked up a piece of the pie to put into my mouth casually. I emphasized the word long and I saw Emmett's eyes peek up to me. I could practically read the harsh warning in his eyes. She finished taking a sip of her white wine, placing the glass back delicately on top of the table, before wiping her lip and giving a tight smile.

"Personal matters." She replied smoothly. No sign of red cheeks, no sign of down casted eyes. From my peripheral, I saw Carlisle wipe at his lips, reaching for his glass. _Personal matters?_ What could _she_ possibly still hold onto in Forks after being gone so long? Her empty smile and lack of response irked me, it gnawed at my insides. The familiar feeling that had been dormant, woke up, and bothered me to continue poking at her until I got a response.

"Oh." I slowly swallowed. "How long will you be gracing us with your presence?"

"For the moment, indefinitely." Although, the strange spark flared through my body, I couldn't help the growing irritation that came along with it at her vague answers. I wanted responses not half-ass answers. I opened my mouth to say something, when Esme cut me off.

"How has everything been?" Esme was truly curious to know how life was for her. She had known Bella since she was practically born which led to us growing up together. My mom and Bella's mom were school friends and were inseparable. Renee was her name and she was a very pretty woman. Certain features of hers were passed along to Bella, like for example, her eyes.

"Everything's been good. Alice and I recently redecorated our apartment." The infamous Alice was her cousin from her father's side. Her first cousin. Aro was Charlie's brother and therefore Bella's uncle. They didn't live in Forks though because, from what Bella told me, her uncle moved away as soon as he graduated. She used to go visit them for three weeks at a time twice a year but I never met them. _So she's been living with Alice._

"How is Alice?" Esme asked, cradling her hands together on the top of the table.

"She's good. She came with me to Forks."

"You must bring her!" Esme suggested instantly and I crinkled a brow. "I'd love to officially meet her. You and her have been living together for a while?" Bella's lips rubbed and she stared at her half-eaten pie.

"You could say that." Her voice was somber and I saw the reaction on Esme's face. Upset would be an understatement. The awkwardness in the air confirmed that Bella had been living with Alice ever since her mother's passing.

I remember passing by my mom's room on a Sunday night after football practice and seeing her crying, with puffy eyes, and black mascara down her cheeks. I was so worried, frantically asking her what was wrong until she reluctantly confessed that Bella's mom had passed that morning. She was distraught over the knowledge of her best friend's death and I was…stunned. I shook my head, pushing the memories away that seemed to start pouring back with her appearance.

"I'm sorry." Esme excused herself and Carlisle placed a soft hand on top of hers, in a form of comfort. Bella shook her head, poking the pie.

"Don't be sorry. It's okay, don't worry. But I'll bring Alice so you could meet her." Esme's spirits seemed to have lifted, making my father equally happy.

The conversation went on smoothly for the rest of dinner for everyone except me. I barely uttered three more words with the events that happened today. Esme eventually cleaned up with Carlisle's help and danced off to the sink to wash everything, leaving the four of us sitting together around the large table, like when we were younger.

"You're staying in Forks, Bella?" Emmett asked idly playing with Rose's long fingers. It was a habit he'd picked up from when they first started dating.

"Yep so you'll be seeing me." She gave him a soft smile.

"We have to hang out." Rose piped in like a singing bird. "To fill each other in on the details of life."

"Sure. I'll stop by your job afterwards to come here. I'll bring Alice." Rose had never met Alice and although she was wary of meeting new people, especially women, she was sure that a friend—or rather a family member—of Bella's was a good person.

"You know where I work right?" Bella rolled her eyes with an amused expression.

"Probably at the only elementary school in town. Forks is small and _everything_ gets around fast." I didn't miss the way she stressed the word everything. I tilted my glass back all the way and finished the remaining liquid in one shot.

I remained observant rather than aggressive throughout the rest of the night. I studied her reactions to everything, comparing them to the one's I knew so well and seeing where they changed. At nine, she decided to leave and head back to sleep saying she was jetlagged after the long trip. She pecked, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Rose's cheek and went to walk by me. I half-raised an eyebrow, following her to the living room, feeling the burning eyes Emmett on my back. She reached down to grab her black bag and I stopped behind her, watching her body freeze in response. _So she's not completely unresponsive to me._ I bent down so that my lips were by her ear and felt her slow breathing.

"I'll be seeing you tomorrow then, Bella." My lips found her cheek pressing down, as the tradition we had, before pulling away. She frowned and stomped out the door, not daring to look back once. I was half-satisfied, half-disappointed. I saw her pull out of the driveway, in her black rental car, into the main road.

"What was with all the interrogating?" Emmett questioned from behind, his voice firm. I merely shrugged and plopped onto the sofa.

"I was merely asking questions that I was curious about." His brow furrowed. "I would hardly call that interrogating."

"Oh please. You're a fucker and I know you too well. You were purposely trying to provoke her so that she'd tell you the answers. You were _dying_ to know more about her because that's always been you when it came to her." He had a knowing look in his eye. "You've always wanted to know more."

"Its human nature to be curious." I tapped my fingertips against the cushions of the couch.

"Except human nature isn't your thing." He countered. "Listen, I know you too well to know where you're going with this." He picked up a hand. "Leave her alone, Edward. I mean it." I leaned forward, relatively bored with this speech.

"I didn't know she also paid for a lawyer." He shoved at my shoulder. He continued talking but I tuned him out. I didn't need to hear his tired, brotherly, threats and I certainly needed more time to get this girl talking. Talking like she used to talk to me all that time ago.

Now in my room, I stared at the ceiling, wondering what the difference in her was besides her appearance. I hadn't expected the largest hug in the world, but I was definitely not expecting such indifference—especially from her. Not after everything.


	3. Chapter 2

Happy Reading!

Ness

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Esme was dancing around the kitchen with the soft crooning of Beethoven in the background as she scattered ingredients on top of the counter. Her hair was picked up in a chignon and she wore a violet dress. She had retired from her job after working there for almost twenty years and now just walked around looking for adventure. I took off for the reasons of not dealing with anyone from work but also to see Bella when she came over.

There was a knock on the front door that was barely audible due to the music. Esme's head turned fractionally in that direction before turning back to me.

"Honey, will you please get the door for me?"

"Of course." I stood up and made my way to the door, running a hand thoroughly through my hair to somewhat ease the messiness. I opened the door, greeted by Rosalie's friendly steel eyes and answering smile. She had her bag hanging on the crook of her elbow and a piece of paper clutched in her hand. "Hi, Rose." She stepped forward, inside, pecking my cheek.

"Hey Edward." Behind her was the main star of the whole waiting game. Bella stood there, tall, in a pair of black, pointed toe, stilettoes and pencil skirt. Her hair was tumbling over her shoulders and I saw her features were enhanced by makeup. She had a cat-flick over her eyes and it seemed she traded in her chap stick for a rose lipstick. My eyes were running over her, taking in the new sight of her that I've never seen. I wasn't the only one staring; she also had her eyes glued to me, the flash of recognition sparking in her eyes. I assumed my laid back, casual, jean and t-shirt outfit reminds her of my everyday outfit when I was younger. A female cleared her throat behind her, although she was out of view, and Bella snapped out of her trance. Her eyes becoming ghost-like as she stared back at me.

"Edward." She nodded in acknowledgement, taking a step to the side to reveal the female behind her. She was the smallest of the three women with a black bob and oversized sunglasses on her face. "My cousin, Alice." As if on instinct, she offered me her hand, giving it a firm shake.

"You're Cullen, then?" It was a rhetorical question because she stepped through without another word. _So it's clear she knows about me._ Bella took her to the kitchen to introduce her to Esme who immediately started gushing to her with friendliness and kindness.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Alice responded with a bright smile on her face. Rose turned to me and braced herself against the island.

"Emmett will be here within the next forty-five minutes or so." She informed and I nodded. Something caught Esme's eye and she touched Rose's arm.

"What's this?" It was the paper she was clutching in her hand. She pulled it back, another huge smile on her face.

"It's a drawing one of my students made of me." She pressed it on top of the island, so everyone could see, and smoothed out any lines as if it were a treasure map. In the picture, there was a stick figure version of her with long arms and legs and long hair that almost reached her feet, drawn in yellow crayon. There was green spikes on the bottom of the paper probably meant to be grass and a yellow crescent, which matched her hair color, on the corner of the page with yellow rays. There were also stretched 'V's scattered throughout the page, depicting birds. Overall, it was the work of a kid, but it looked like the world's treasure to Rose. "She's talented and I love it." She murmured.

Rosalie took pride in each of her students. I had seen her in action when I stopped by mid-class to give her a package from Emmett. She was stern when she needed to be but a giant mush ninety three percent of the time. In her eyes, kids could do no wrong for her to despise them. She had her students' pictures pinned in her house on a collage board and some hung in her classroom.

"How beautiful." Esme smiled, delicately touching the edges of the picture with her fingertips.

"It's going up on my collage at home." She neatly placed it in her bag.

"I think you're going to need another one." I remarked and she laughed.

"I actually do. Can you get me one? I'll give you the money tomorrow." I shrugged.

"Sure."

"Thanks." A cellphone rang, blaring into the kitchen, making Esme jump.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I have to get that." She gave a warm smile. "Excuse me." She left and Rose stared at me expectantly, basically telling me to get the fuck out.

"Edward, don't you have some project to work on?" Her eyes narrowed slightly and I imagined she wanted to talk girly things with Bella and Alice. The corner of my lip twitched and I reached for my glass of water.

"Finished and presented, Rose. Yesterday, actually. I think I'll stick around." Cue her eyes narrowing even more. I could basically hear her message. _'You asshole'._

"It's no problem." Alice chirped in. "The more the merrier, I always say." I noticed Bella's eyes flash to hers for a moment, but her body remained still. I like Alice already. She seemed to be the only reasonable one here.

Esme must've been having a long conversation on her phone with one of her town friends, because it has been over twenty five minutes and she hasn't returned. The girls seemed to relax a bit with my presence and forget I was there. They talked about their lives in the last two months and laughed here and there.

"Now you know the big juicy question is coming." Rose giggled into her hand. "Boyfriend?" I half-raised my eyebrow, my body leaning forward of its own accord. _This_ was a question that interested me greatly. Bella tucked a stray hair behind her ear, her eyes blinking rapidly.

"Not at this very moment." A deep breath exhaled from my body, a breath I didn't even know existed. My fingers also uncurled from underneath the counter, flexing the stiffness I had in the short ten second span.

"Oh come on." Alice rolled her eyes at her jokingly, a teasing smirk, gracing her face. "You can't simply dismiss Alec like that." That sudden relief dissipated and anger enflamed my insides, trying to escape. My fist recalled other times and was singing to me to find this man and bash his face. It screamed for the familiar feeling of cracking someone's nose and in turn slicing the skin over my own knuckles. A feeling I had so very well toned-down.

"Alec isn't my boyfriend, Al." Bella corrected but I could tell Rose's eyes were interested by the way they sparkled. "Going out on dates does not equate to boyfriend."

"Perhaps not. But he would love it." My teeth were pressing so hard that they might just crack through one another.

"I'd love to know about this guy." Rose wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Bella rolled her eyes.

"I can imagine." She replied dryly and in that second Rose's phone rang. She stared at the name before sliding it to open the call.

"What's wrong, baby?" Her brows knitted together as she patiently waited for Emmett's answer. "Yeah sure thing." She shut the phone and stood up. "Emmett's coming and wanted me to open the door, he's bringing something for Esme." She shrugged and started to walk out when Alice stopped her.

"The famous Emmett? I'd like to meet him."

"Come, I'll introduce you." She smiled at her and waved her to the living room. Now all that was left was Bella who stood by the fridge, avoiding all eye contact with me, and me, burning in this fucking stool like a fucking maniac. She looked so cool and aloof that it kept pushing me over. I wanted her to explain that nothing was true and I had nothing to worry about. I wanted her to put her small hands on my chest to try and uselessly stop me from wanting to crack somebody. I wanted her to react, but she didn't. So I did.

I stood up sharply, catching her eye, but she remained unmoving. I made my way over to her in five long strides and stood, breathing fire.

"Who the fuck is Alec?" I nearly spat the name as her eyes finally blinked back at me.

"I already said who he was." She replied. "Someone I was seeing."

"Who the _fuck_ does he think he is?" I growled, my hands fisting to the point that my nails pressed into the skin of my palm, biting harshly. "No." I shook my head. "You're _mine,_ Bella." My hands encased hers. "Mine." I repeated and she frowned, snatching her hands away.

"I'm not yours. I'm nobody's. I belong to me." She pointed at her chest and from the distance I heard Emmett's voice talking to Esme. She pivoted on her heel and stomped out, leaving me simmering in the kitchen like Lucifer in hell. _Not mine?_ She was fucking delusional. She's always been mine and will _always_ be mine.

* * *

Carlisle eventually came over and commenced dinner. It went better than yesterday, but my body was still vibrating with anger. Bella laughed along, sipping her wine and cutting her meat, chatting here and there.

"So how are you readjusting to Forks?" Carlisle asked.

"It definitely rains a lot more here than in New York." She joked and I wiped at my lip. _So New York's where she's been this whole time?_ My eyes glanced at Esme who expertly avoided my eyes. "But I grew up here most of my life." Her eyes scanned around. "So it's not so much of a culture change."

"What's the Big Apple like?" Emmett continued, taking a forkful of his meat.

"It's busy and crowded and filled with the rush of the city."

"It's a beautiful place." Alice added. "But it's definitely not a small town like Forks. Not everyone knows one another."

"Unless you're a socialite or Wall Street business man." Bella corrected. "Then your life is continuously documented. It's certainly not quiet, but it reminds you you're always surrounded by life."

"Sounds like a beautiful place." Esme breathed dreamily. "We must go, Carlisle."

"If you ever do, please, stay with us. It would my honor." Bella smiled and Esme brightened.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I will always keep that offer in mind."

Bella kept her distance from me for the rest of the night and every time I tried to approach her or get her to talk, Esme or Emmett would constantly call my name. It's like they knew my intentions, which I'm sure they do, and tried to prevent it.

She eventually left with Alice, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth and an unsatisfied body. I growled in frustration and made my way up the stairs after everyone left and I finished helping my parents. I showered and sat on my bed, pensive, running a towel through my damp hair.

My body was going through a turmoil. It was more than happy to see her, it was ecstatic but the other half was angry, resentful, for the way she's changed. Changed towards me—someone she called her best friend. Someone she cried on or she talked to in the middle of the night when she wasn't allowed to be on the phone.

Bella was kept under lock and key when we were younger. Her parents—especially her father—were overprotective of her. Overprotective was an understatement. Bella had scheduled hours to be out and to be home, she went from school to back home and vice versa. Her father wanted no boy to see her and sometimes I thought that he had a chastity belt in his closet to force on her.

I was the only exception because I was Esme's son. Renee never let Charlie bar us and so he only grew to trust Emmett and me when it came to Bella. She was only ever allowed somewhere with me and I was the only boy allowed to bring her home, let alone to enter it. Their overbearing nature had effects on Bella making her a shy little, obedient, lamb.

I had heard that Charlie returned after they left, without Renee or Bella, but he never made his presence an announcement. If Bella's back that must mean that she's staying with him. It's only natural. I wanted to go and visit the house, but something told me it wouldn't be the most prudent thing to do.

I paced through my room, thinking of strategies, plans, techniques to try and get into Bella's mind. She was usually such an open book to read. Her emotions were plain on her face and she wore her heart on her sleeve. There was never one thing she could truly hide from me, but now? Now it seemed as though she's mastered the art of a façade. She was expertly hiding everything she felt and I wondered what it was that had her so different.

Then there was her cousin Alice who was an overall nice person. She was polite, civil, bubbling with excitement. But she also reeked of mischief and her little sporadic comments throughout dinner proved it. She seemed to pick up on my buttons and pushed them with little effort. She wasn't warmed up to me, but she certainly knew about me to bother me. _What did Bella tell her?_

Slipping on a pair of pajama pants, I sat on my bed. It won't be so easy for Bella to ignore me when she's in the same town as me and constantly visiting my house. A smile creeped onto my face at the realization.


	4. Chapter 3

The italics in this chapter and for future chapters references to flashbacks which are written in third person. They will usually somehow connect to the chapter and give a glimpse of Edward, Bella even Rose and Emmett's past lives.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 _Edward was sitting on the grass, observing the movements of it as it delicately swayed with the light breeze. It was a strangely sunny day in Forks, the dull light hitting every corner it could reach and bathing him in its warmness._

 _"Edward!" A squeaky feminine voice called making the little bronzed haired boy turn out of his state of thinking to see a thin girl running towards him. She had on her traditional boot-cut jeans and black, dirty, converse. The smile was evident on her face, indicating her excitement for her best friend. She reached him and jumped off the ground, leaping into him and wrapping her arms furiously around his neck. He caught her, like always, and pressed them together before softly placing her on the floor._

 _"Bella, who brought you?" She shrugged._

 _"Myself." Her voice was barely audible due to her embarrassment. He grimaced down at her._

 _"Be careful." He didn't want anything to happen to her and as she realized that her heart danced in her chest. She couldn't help but find Edward cute with his trimmed hair and quirky smile. While everyone already had boyfriends and girlfriends, Bella didn't. At the tender age of thirteen she had yet to be kissed, let alone have a boyfriend. Her parents and Edward made it impossible._

 _Whenever Edward saw her talking to a boy that looked a little too interested in her, he would storm in with nostrils flared and get him away from her. One part of her always got upset but the larger part always swelled in hope that perhaps he was jealous and liked her back too._

 _"Edward," Esme's soft voice popped through into the yard. Her strange bronze, brown, hair waving with the wind. "Bring Bella in so you can both eat!"_

 _"Okay, mom!" He answered back before turning to the shy girl beside him. He offered her his palm, which she blinked at, before sliding hers onto it, blushing like mad. Both walked hand in hand into the house with little smiles on their faces._

On a Saturday afternoon, the sky was its strangely gray color. Esme had cooked for Carlisle but he forgot to take his lunch since he rushed out, so as a favor she asked me in her most motherly, adorable, voice to take it to him. I couldn't deny her, so I agreed and got into my car, driving into town to the hospital.

I felt so out of place with my jeans and white t-shirt and black Ray Bans while everyone had on their white uniforms or lab coats. Female eyes flickered to me, coquettish smiles gracing their faces. They knew that I was the son of their boss but they didn't care; I'm pretty sure that added to the thrill of their fantasy. They were attractive females but I wasn't about to have any sort of tryst with my dad's employees.

I turned to one of the nurse's at the desk, watching her eyes flutter rapidly. Giving my most charming smile, I looked at her from above the rim of my sunglasses and placed a hand on the edge of the desk.

"I'm looking for my father." Her breathing hitched for a moment before she seemed to regain herself.

"Dr. Cullen." She said softly to herself as if she was reassuring herself that he was the doctor I wanted. "He's in the E.R. for the moment, can I—"

"Edward?" I turned and saw blonde hair giving away their identity.

"Jazz." I stepped away from the desk with a nod of my head and shook his hand, clapping his back. Jasper was a new doctor that my dad hired after his internship here. I've known him since he first interned here three years ago and saw him quite a lot. He was a good friend and we'd hang out from time to time. He's a relatively laid back person off duty with a laid back personality, but when he was at work he was very diligent and anal about things. He grew on my father since his first year and had him train under him personally. "How are you?"

"Good." He said with a smile. "Working on a Saturday. But how are you? I'm surprised to see you here." I picked up the bag that held Carlisle's food and understanding flooded his face. "Ah, he's in the E.R. but I'll take it and put it away for him."

"Thanks. How's Jane?" Jane was Jasper's girlfriend of three years. They had met in med school and started dating there. She was a smaller version of him with blonde hair and baby blue eyes, but she always had a bitchy attitude when it came to other people. That's where they differed. I only met her a handful of times but she wasn't one of the most pleasant women to come across, in fact, it left me wondering how _he_ got along with her.

"She's…" He pondered for a moment, looking for the right word. "Good. She's working too." From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella walk out with a crease on her brow, followed by Carlisle. _Bella and Carlisle? Was she the one in the E.R.?_ My eyes scanned her quickly but there was no sign of a cast or of any stitches. What could she be doing here?

Jasper followed my eyes and spotted them too. Bella stopped, turning to say something else to Carlisle who merely smiled and shook his head. Curiosity was burning at me but I remained observant. She relaxed and then turned, catching me, and froze.

"I guess she must have caught him coming out of the E.R." Jasper commented nonchalantly, probably reading my expression as irritated that my father was talking to someone.

"I somehow doubt that." I replied, taking a step forward. She immediately turned and rushed out without a single glance behind her. Carlisle stuffed his hands in the pocket of his lab coat, a smile gracing his features.

"Edward, what a pleasant surprise." His eyes saw the bag and he chuckled under his breath. "I seem to be quite forgetful these days." He grabbed his lunch from me. "Thank you, son, and please tell your mother thank you."

"I will. Dad, why was Bella here?" Jasper looked to us, surprised I knew the woman. Clearly, he never had and that was strange because everyone knew everyone in Forks. Carlisle's smile faded a bit before he cleared his throat.

"Excuse me." He said. "Bella needed medicine, Alice wasn't feeling well." He gave Jasper his lunch. "Could you please put that for me in the refrigerator?"

"Of course." As he walked away, my dad laughed.

"And please write my name on it. We know Oliver is always 'confusing' our lunch." Jasper laughed as well, nodding. He turned back to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "If you'll excuse me, son, I have to read a diagnosis to a very overly impatient patient." In other words, the matter of the subject was closed. I nodded and he flitted off into his office, leaving me in the middle of the hospital, unsure, unconvinced and wondering what the hell was going on.

* * *

Days passed and Bella had come to visit us again, minus Alice. She spoke mostly to Esme and Carlisle, blandly ignoring me. My patience was wearing thin and I seemed to be reverting back to my old ways.

"If it isn't my little best friend." Carlisle had gone to check on his work cell phone and Esme went to grab some wine. Bella's eyes travelled to me, her jaw taut, but her expression blank.

"I haven't been your little best friend for years." She responded, giving a small strike at my chest. Even though she's been gone, she's always been my best friend and I'll consider her one forever. I took a seat on a stool, opposite of her.

"Now whose fault is that?" My tone was slightly teasing and her eyes narrowed. "Besides, I don't consider that something that takes away our history."

"Our history is that. History."

"It's not as simple as that." I wagged a finger at her. "We spent just about every day together. Remember?"

"Edward, what is it you want from me?" Her voice was tired. I smirked at her, quickly glancing over her once.

"If you want to be technical—"

"Be literal." She cut in.

"I would want a lot of things." I continued. "I'd want to continue where we left off." I reached for the hand that she snatched back.

"You're shitting me?" Hearing her curse was a mixture of shock and comedy. She was always so proper and clean that she cursed once a year, if even that, and would always cover her mouth as if she would've said the greatest sin. Now, I chuckled at her.

"You cursing is something I'm going to have to get used to."

"Leave me alone."

"I can't and you know that." My tone shifted from mocking to serious in a snap. Her lips puckered and she leaned her chin on her palm.

"I don't know anything when it comes to you." She replied hastily.

"Don't be silly. You've known me all of our lives, there's probably no one that knows me better than you."

"You need to get rid of your obsession to have me pinned to your side for whenever you need me." This was probably the most we've spoken since she's arrived and we were seconds away from arguing. I frowned at her tone and her words.

"I don't have an obsession to keep you pinned to me. I like being next to you. I want to be next to you always and it's not by choice." I always simply _found_ myself being next to her. Her eyes merely flickered my way before she turned away.

"Don't talk to me about choices, okay? We're not the same and we will never be the same." Esme was walking back from the basement with a bottle of wine in her hands. It wouldn't be prudent to be fighting when she walked in, so I swallowed my bitterness and stood up, watching her eyes follow me.

"You're trying to unsuccessfully fight against me." I leaned forward slightly and watched her body tense, a reaction that made me smirk. "And you _won't_ win, baby." Her eyes flashed to me dangerously but I already made my way out of the kitchen. The word baby slipped in every once in a while when I was feeling truly happy or teasing her. Although, instead of getting angry, she would usually blush.

* * *

She eventually left after she received a phone call, but Em and Rose stopped by. They were upset they'd missed Bella by a few minutes but happily stayed for dinner when Esme invited them. Emmett was helping Esme bread the meat while Rosalie took a seat beside me.

"Well talk about role reversal." I breathed as I watched Emmett pat the meat gently with his enormous hands while Rosalie sat, observing him, with a smirk on her face.

"I'm not complaining." She shrugged. "So Bella's back." She started and I turned my expectant eyes on her.

"That's the worst way to start a casual conversation." I noted and she shrugged.

"You got what I meant."

"Yes she's back." I felt a small smile tickle my lips at the thought. "Although, she's nothing like when she left."

"She's a little different." I snorted.

"A little?"

"Okay, she's different, but what did you expect?" Esme and Emmett were in their own world, laughing loudly, while we were in our own. "It's not like you both had the best of departures." I frowned, glaring at the counter top.

"Let's _not_ talk about that."

"Why not? It's been eight years. You should've grown up."

"I have." I argued, feeling as if I were talking to my mother. She always had this maternal way of speaking to someone, probing them.

"Edward, we know that while you've adapted to your surroundings you haven't changed." She tapped her filed nails carefully. "I saw it in the way you got irritated when Bella's date was mentioned." At the thought of another man, my fingers started to curl, to Rosalie's enjoyment. "Like you are now." She stared at my hand and I huffed. "Bella brings out the teenager in you that has gone dormant."

"It's a reaction I have." I growled, screwing my eyes shut. "Everything that has to do with Bella, my body automatically responds to before my brain has a chance to think it through."

"Listen, I love you like a shit-head of a brother, but I advise you to proceed with caution. Bella's not so easily won over anymore and that can provoke your anger."

"I've already thought this all through." I mumbled. "I'm taking this as another chance to make Bella understand." She smiled.

"Good luck to you."

* * *

Bella has purposely been avoiding my house for the past five days, an annoying matter. I fixed my blazer, walking back home after a long day of work. The house was relatively empty which surprised me.

I grabbed my keys and got back in my car, driving to the nearest food place I could find. Ordering a cheeseburger and fries, I scrolled through my iPhone, finding not one message from everyone. _For a house that's always full, it was too empty._ I had a beer before heading back home an hour later and seeing Carlisle's car parked outside.

"Oh Edward!" Esme called with a winded expression. It looked like she ran a mile to get here. I frowned. "I'm sorry, I was out and so was your father."

"Mom, it's okay." I soothed her, placing my hands on her forearms. "I'm not a little boy anymore." She released a breath and shook her head. "Where'd you guys go?"

"I was out with some of the women from town." Esme responded in less than a second. Her response sounded a little mechanical and Carlisle came in beside her.

"At the hospital." His lips were thinned but he otherwise said nothing else. They were a little off, but I assumed it was just a problem between them. They'd figure it out. My phone rang and I saw it was Emmett.

"What happened?"

"Want to do something? I'm bored and Rose went out tonight."

"Sure. Meet me in Port Angeles." I hung up and turned to my parents. "I'll be out with Emmett." They nodded, so I kissed my mother's cheek and hugged my father before walking out.

Arriving at a small bar, I saw him standing outside in his overall body-building glory. A wry smile on his face and his cell phone at hand.

"Finally." He sighed. "Let's go in. I could use a tequila." The little pub was small and dimly lit with the soft buzzing of people whispering. It was a hole in the wall but it was perfect for small groups of people who wanted a place to talk and drink.

"Where'd Rose go?"

"She went to stay out with Bella." He answered. "I think she's spending the night. Not sure."

"And leaving you?" I blinked. "Sounds odd. She'd pass up sex with you for a night with girls?" Emmett shrugged, pressing the button on his phone to check his home screen. He must've found nothing interesting come through because he re-stuffed it into his pocket.

"For her friends, Rose would do anything. And for Bella, Rose would bend over backwards for her." Rosalie was a year older than Bella but had always treated her like the sister she always wanted. They'd been close since high school and was singularly the only woman that she would walk alongside with without having a nasty bitch face. Rose had often been there to stand up for Bella whenever she needed to and had gotten involved in a couple of our little disputes.

"Everything seems to have altered with her arrival." I rubbed at my cheek, feeling the rough stubble that had grown over night since I was too lazy to shave.

"She's been gone for a while, of course it would." He had a genuine smile. "But I think one of the biggest changes is you." I drummed my fingers and pretended not to hear him. "I know that you heard me, Edward." I rose an eyebrow and shrugged. "She has an effect on you."

"Do you want it in writing?"

"And you're being a dick again."

"That's the simple nature of who I am." I scoffed, taking the glass of scotch and tilting it from side to side, observing how the amber liquid moved whenever I moved the cup. Truly a fascinating sight when you're trying to get distracted.

"You're possessive, especially of her."

"This isn't why I agreed to come out. So for fuck's sake, shut up."

"Leave her alone, Edward." He warned, his tone tinged with authority. I rose a challenging eyebrow at him. He knew I hated authority and I always went against it, this was of no difference. He didn't dictate what I did especially when it came to Bella. He never understood the connection me and her had. No one did.

"Are you trying to stop me?" His position altered slightly and his arms flexed as he crossed them across his chest. It was a subtle warning.

"We can always go again if you really want to." Emmett had no fear of anything, let alone my temper. He'd experienced it first hand when he pushed me to it. We had gotten in a fist fight and although I ended up with a fucked up hand, he didn't escape unscathed either. The proof was the split skin over my knuckles and his black eye.

"If I have to, I will." I took a swing of the liquor and watched his eyes study me. "Stop psycho-analyzing me you fucker." I barked.

"Then stop acting fucking psychotic." He checked his phone once more. "Bella doesn't want anything with you."

"Did you guys have a cute heart-to-heart?" I mocked, tightening my hold around the glass.

"Edward anyone with two fucking eyes can see that she's not the same. That you've pushed her to the moment where she cracked." I closed my eyes, adjusting my jaw to release the tension. "When she saw you with Jessica eight years ago, her judgement changed."

"Fine." I relented verbally only so he could stop throwing shit in my face. I wasn't prepared to settle back, however, I wanted to hear from her lips what was going on.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _Edward was by the kitchen threshold, watching with dangerous slits the boy that Bella was talking to. She had gotten permission from her parents, after a lot of begging to her mom, with Edward's help, to attend a party._

 _She was excited to experience an actual party after being barred from them every time she asked. She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans instead of her boot-cut ones, paired with a pair of ballerina black flats and a navy blue shirt that showed just a bit of cleavage. Her mom helped her leave without her father's knowledge over her outfit and she met up with Edward who waited by his car, appraising her softly filled in curves that she had gotten over the summer._

 _Now both of them fifteen, they were both thoroughly going through puberty and changing. Their bodies, their voices, their face structure—everything. Edward was building some muscle with his sports and Bella was growing into herself. However, there was one thing that didn't change—them. Bella still had a crush on Edward and Edward was still fiercely protective of Bella, allowing no other guy to look, at what he believed was his, with any mal intent._

 _He knew the moment she walked out with clothes more form-hugging than usual, that she was going to turn heads. As they headed to the party Bella had pulled out a lipstick that she snuck from her mom and smeared it over her lips, an action that had caught Edward's full attention—both through his eyes and his body. When they arrived, his nightmares came true. Boys talked to her and she caused heads to snap in her direction. So Edward stayed by the kitchen, staring, analyzing._

 _Bella was having the time of her life with her drink in her hand. She was talking to a boy she thought was incredibly cute and sweet. He had been talking to her for a while and continued to be interested. He leaned forward, whispering into her ear and ran a finger down her arm, causing a shudder to run through her._

 _At that moment, something inside Edward physically snapped. He heard it break and he felt his feet walk towards them before he could process it. He saw Bella's cheeks enflame and her eyes fly to the floor._

 _"Let's go, Bella." He gritted out, glaring at the guy in front of her. Her head immediately snapped up and was met with his burning emerald eyes, drilling holes into the face of the guy in front of her._

 _"But Edwar—"_

 _"She doesn't need to leave." The guy argued bravely, but inside he was a little worried. He'd heard about Edward, he had a reputation of beating people, especially if they came to close to Bella. He had balls to even be talking to her._

 _"She does." Edward shot back, his voice as sharp as a knife._

 _"I could take her home." The boy volunteered, glancing at Bella who had her eyes glued to Edward. She saw his body go rigid, a clear sign of his rage, and his hand fisted into a tight ball. Bella recognized this position and didn't want him to get into any trouble or hurt the guy she had been talking to._

 _"Edward, don't." She whispered, grabbing his arm, but Edward was long from listening to reason. His arm started to lift and she jumped into reaction. She hugged his fist to her chest, feeling the sharpness of his knuckles and turned to say her farewell to the deathly pale boy. She hauled him half way out before he turned the roles, grabbing her hand, and escorting her out of the packed house._

 _When they were outside, he managed to get to the side of the house, turning her so she was looking at him. Her eyes were wide and gold, his favorite color, but her body knew this would happen._

 _'He always does this.' She thought, the familiar feeling of joy diminishing._

 _"Bella, you're mine." He said fiercely, watching her eyes brim with tears and cradling her face between his palms. "Mine." He had ruined the night for her and she did mourn it but most of all she mourned that his words were not as truthful as she wanted them to be. She wanted to be his and she wanted him to be hers. An even exchange, but he always seemed to want someone else before returning to her. "You're mine." He repeated once more. "I'm taking you home." He gently grabbed her hand in his, an action he wasn't familiar with unless it was with Bella, feeling how small her hand was in his but how easily it fit._

"Edward, wake up." A deep voice groaned groggily but I waved my hand, hoping that would make it go away or at least stop. "Wake the fuck up, man."

"For fuck's sake, Emmett, I'm trying to sleep."

"It's mid-day." He stated matter-of-factly. Peeking one eye open, I saw him open the blinds of my room, letting the immensely bright light peek through. I hissed and rolled over so my face was in the mattress, back to the safety of the darkness.

"I don't care." I flung a pillow at him. "I'm trying to sleep. You wanted to stay out until four thirty."

"I'm starved. I'll pay for lunch."

"Remind me never to go out with you again." I sat up glaring at his smug smile and made it to shower.

Emmett suggested the small café to enjoy the rare sun. He was behind me texting Rose on his phone when I heard the sudden feminine squeaky voice.

"I'll be right back, Bella!" That was Alice's voice. She was leaving the front of a little library down the block with her phone firmly pressed against her ear, a smile evident on her face.

"I forgot something in the car." I said to Emmett. "I'll meet you inside. Get a table and order me what you're getting." He shrugged and walked in, still typing his message. I made my way inside, looking around at the nearly empty book place. There were only a few souls scattered in here, one of them being the owner that sat behind a desk, me and Bella. I quietly walked up and down the rows of bookshelves, my eyes searching and scanning, when I heard a book cover shut loudly. The sound wasn't anything out of this world, but since it was empty here, it made a loud echo.

I followed it to be met with Bella's back form. She held a book in her hand, letting her fingers slide delicately over the cover. Her body wasn't encased in jeans today but rather a blue pencil skirt and high, nude, heels making my body and my most used body part twitch in response. I'd seen Bella in a dress maybe four times in the sixteen years we knew each other. But this sight was a true treat to the eye. Her lightly colored legs were lean and firm, leading up to her wonderful backside. An asset I had admired from the moment that she hit puberty and cursed when others noticed.

I quietly walked behind her and placed one hand on her hip, feeling her stiffen, and pressed my lips to her cheek. She whipped around furiously, hiding the book behind her, her eyes startled.

"You asshole." She whispered. "Don't fucking do that. You scared me." I raised both hands up in surrender, chuckling softly.

"Sorry."

"That was the most insincere sorry you've ever said." Her eyes narrowed. "How did you know I was here?"

"It seems my body is still attuned to yours." I shrugged. "I was by the café when I saw Alice. I assumed you were here."

"And you just _had_ to come and see me."

"Don't I always?"

"Now that you've seen me, leave." She waved her fingers at me and tried to turn but I stopped her by taking a step closer to her.

"I think we need to talk."

"I don't think we do." She shot and I blew out some air.

"What's going on with you?" I wondered. "Why is it you're treating me as if you don't know me?" Her lips thinned and she leaned her head against the wall.

"Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because I've never been able to." I took a step closer to her, now invading her personal space, and had our chests only an inch apart. Her breathing hitched, her heart almost audible to my own ears, and her eyes flickered up to me—the image of the girl I knew returning. "Because your body doesn't _want_ me to leave you alone."

"Edward." She drawled softly in that irresistible voice that had me wanting to beg her to continue. It was the voice that she'd probably use if we had sex and she'd scream when she was in a high of pleasure. Again, that dangerous body part twitched in response, waking up from its sleep. Her hands went to my chest and my eyes burned into hers. "Stop."

"Do you really want me to?" Her lip was encased by her teeth, a habit that made me bite every girls' lip in hopes that they looked half as good as the woman in front of me did. "You feel that shock running through us? The shock that is still strong after nearly a decade." Her hands fell to her side and she tried to look away from me. "I want to talk about you. I want to know what you have been doing—" She flinched, causing my brow to crease.

"Nothing of your concern."

"I'll admit, I like your new attitude." I ran my finger down her face but she slapped it away. "The fierceness is hot to another level."

"That's wonderful. Now. Move." She said stoically, unsuccessfully pushing me away. "You just miss the idiot you manipulated." I shook my head, surprised at her thoughts.

"I can see you don't believe me."

"No." She snorted.

"Then let me show you." I whispered against her face, her eyes widening and flickering to my lips as mine did the same. _Yes, we were attuned_. I leaned forward a bit and she pressed herself tighter against the wall. I pressed my lips over hers, feeling how smooth and soft they were, even for a woman who was wearing lipstick. They were inviting and dancing along with mine, making my body reignite the old familiar feeling that floated through my body. My arms encircled her waist, pressing her against me, causing her legs to bow forward and her back to arch back. She felt like the softest thing one could think of—a cloud? No.

I licked her bottom lip and she gasped, giving my tongue access to the inside of her mouth. It was everything it was years ago—warm, inviting, sweet. It tasted of chocolate and hazelnut with a distinct flavor that was only her. My arms pressed her tighter and her hands went to my chest, fisting the material of my shirt in her hands. She gave a small purring sound that made me groan as our tongues danced, but it all ended too soon when I heard someone clear their throat.

Reluctantly we ripped apart, Bella more embarrassed then me. Her eyes were dark with lust, her pupils dilated and her lipstick smeared on her lips. I turned and saw it was Alice with her phone in her hand, an eyebrow raised and her eyes inspecting both of us.

"Al—" Bella started but Alice held up a hand.

"Nope. Don't want any more details." She stuffed her phone in her bag and turned to me. "Although, the _details_ are plain and evident on you." She jutted her chin towards my pants causing Bella and me to look down. Clearly, my arousal was making itself very known to the public. My erection was in plain view and was straining against my pants in an almost painful notion.

"I guess libraries and books do it for me." I wasn't in the least bit ashamed. I don't think sexual shame was something I even knew. Alice rolled her eyes.

"The medical section is a real turn on." She bit back sarcastically and I caught Bella giving her a harsh look from my peripheral vision. _The medical section?_

"Are you studying to be a doctor and I don't know about it?" I asked Bella who was wiping her lips of the pink lipstick mess. "Carlisle would be real proud to know that someone followed in his footsteps."

"No." She pushed her hair behind her shoulders. "I'm just into having knowledge and now it's time for us to go. Alice." She turned to her cousin who was immediately by her side.

"Bella you're going to have to talk to me eventually."

"Let eventually be never, Edward." She left to the desk and then walked out. After a good five minutes passed, I left the bookstore back to the café where Emmett sat with a coffee mug in front of him and a coke beside him.

"There you are. The fuck did you go? I've been here for fifteen minutes." He wasn't angry but he sure was curious.

"The thing I needed took longer than necessary."

"Well you should wipe the corner of your lip because unless you became addicted to makeup you should be worried." I hurriedly wiped at my lip with my linen napkin, to his utter amusement.

* * *

A trait Esme has always said I possessed since I was a baby was determination. She'd always tell the story of when I started to walk.

"You were only seven months and would try to wobble your way to stand, using the edge of the table." She would say with a fond smile and half closed eyes as she thought back to the memory. "Then you'd fall on your little rump and get mad." She'd laugh and shake her head. "You'd make this adorable pout and bang your little fists against the floor before you tried again. You were a determined little munchkin."

Determination is something I always strived for. To obtain what I set my mind to. It's the way I've operated for years and whether I used that determination to break every rule or to be an 'A' student, it's been my motto. There was no difference now, except that Bella was making this harder than it needed to be.

She'd been coming over a few times when I was at work, purposely so she couldn't see me. She was sly, I had to give her that, and intelligent. But then again, she was always intelligent. Jasper was over, I had invited him earlier in the week but he had declined. This time it was him who called me and I was surprised by his bleak voice. Company didn't hurt anyone.

"I almost have enough for the car I've been wanting." He sighed twiddling with his fingers on the island, a beer in front of us both.

"Car? I thought you were working to put a down deposit on a place for you and Jane." They lived separately but he has been wanting to move in with her for the last year, but they were short on money. He grimaced, taking a swing of his beer and ruffling his hair.

"That _was_ the plan. Things with Jane haven't been smooth and moving in with her now will most likely intensify our problems. I'd like at least a little peace and quiet in the solitude of my home."

"No offense Jazz, but took you long enough." I breathed and he raised his beer with a small shake of his head.

"None taken." The door opened and in walked Bella, her stilettoes giving her away completely. Jasper turned to see who was coming in, his eyes momentarily entranced by her. He was checking her out, making the steam start to rise in my body. He had seen her before, but he didn't exactly notice her—it seemed he was making up for that now.

"How are you supposed to never talk to me when you're always here?" I casually sipped my beer, watching her reaction from the rim. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Esme invites me." Jasper stood up and extended his hand towards her, a flirtatious smile gracing his features.

"Jasper meet my _best friend,_ Isabella Swan." She threw me a look but pleasantly put her hand in his, smiling in return. "Jasper's a doctor with my dad at the hospital."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jasper."

"The pleasures mine, Isabella."

"Please." She shook her head. "Call me Bella. Isabella seems too formal and is just a mouthful." Esme walked through at that moment, hair up and a towel in her hands. She smiled when she saw Bella and immediately clasped her hands.

"I'm so glad you made it, darling."

"Don't mention it, Esme. You know I enjoy spending time with you, it's a big…relief in my day." A look passed between the two women and I saw a glint of sadness in Bella's eyes. Esme touched her face, smoothing her fingers over her cheeks.

"Come." She took her away as Jasper watched after her.

"You're staring bluntly for a man who has a girlfriend." I said coolly and his eyes snapped back to me, slightly embarrassed.

"I didn't know she was friends with you."

"We've known each other since the crib days." Jasper nodded and we flowed back into another conversation while mom took Bella somewhere in the house. The constant question of what was wrong with Bella was flooding my mind. I had to find out—I was determined.


	6. Chapter 5

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'll be back soon with another one! Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 _Bella laid on her bed, biting her lip, seeing the broken eyeliner her father snapped on the floor. Tears brimmed her eyes and she cradled her knees against her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs._

 _She didn't understand what was wrong with being a girl. Why she couldn't_ be _a girl. It seemed normal for boys to be attracted to girls, especially now at the age of sixteen. She wanted to dress more like herself than like a girl hiding herself. She had bought the eyeliner, planning on wearing it to school, with the ideology that if her father saw it on her he couldn't do anything about it. Little did she know her plan would back fire and he would go ballistic with anger. She was now crying while Renee and Charlie argued downstairs. Renee was livid with Charlie's actions trying, with no success, to defend her daughter against Charlie's ridiculous worries._

 _There was a tapping on her window that startled her and when she looked up she saw it was Edward crouched with a smirk on his face, in his leather jacket. She checked that her door was locked and swung her legs to run over to him, wiping her face with the back of her hand. Using her strength, she opened the window, causing it to creek which made her wince. There was a rose wall that her mother grew that Edward climbed up from time to time. She stepped back and he carefully climbed in, immediately filling the room with his cologne and the smell of cigarette._

 _"You smell." Bella wrinkled her nose and his grin widened, his eyes slightly hazy, meaning he drank. Bella sighed._

 _"Just a little party." She knew that meant he probably had his tongue down some girl's throat and then proceeded to have sex with her. Parties were his favorite thing because he said the girls were drunk and easier than usual._

 _"My parents are going to find you."_

 _"No. Not if we keep quiet." He placed a finger over his lips with a smirk and a mischievous glint in his eye._

 _"Edward, Esme and Carlisle are going to be worried."_

 _"I told them I was sleeping over Ben's house. They'll be fine." His fingers went to her cheek and she shivered from both his rough, frozen, fingers and the pleasurable sensation. A frown marred his face and he gripped her chin. "What's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing." She walked away and he followed right after her—like a magnet. He didn't believe her, he knew those sad puppy eyes when he saw them._

 _"Bella, I'm your best friend. I know you're lying, you suck at it."_

 _"I don't understand why I can't just be me, Edward." She gave in and his frown deepened at her words, for one moment thinking he had done something to her._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Dad saw a little make up and got angry. I'm sure you can see what the rest is." His eyes found the cracked makeup and sighed. This wasn't the first time it's happened and it surely wouldn't be the last. Although, he didn't believe Bella needed makeup to look amazing he didn't see the problem with her experimenting. This was the age when girls played with makeup and went through trial and errors until they mastered their own specific look. He bent down, grabbing the black kohl in his hand and turned the pieces from side to side._

 _"I'll buy you a new one." Bella took the pieces from him and walked to her trash can, dumping them in the process._

 _"No. It's fine. It'll just end up like this anyways. Broken." She shrugged and Edward saw the struggle on her face to just accept her life. It made him feel a sudden ache to see her upset._

 _"I'm always going to be here for you." He vowed, cradling her face in his hands, seeing the wet tears well up in those golden, molten, eyes he was always mesmerized with. His thumbs traced her cheekbones feeling a sensation of enjoyment from the simple action. Bella was the only girl, besides Esme, that he enjoyed showing affection to but Bella didn't know that. These were the moments Edward allowed himself to be vulnerable and raw. "And if you want to cry, I'm here for you."_

 _"I'll mess up your jacket." He snorted softly at her stupid statement. Of course she would think of that at a time like this. She always thought of him before herself._

 _"It's leather for a reason." He took a step back and sat on her bed, patting the spot beside him. "Come." She quickly crawled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder, letting the tears spill onto his jacket. Seeing her upset wasn't something he liked and he'd stay until she at least fell asleep, it was the least he could do. Bella smelled the alcohol off of his breath but ignored it for now, just concentrating on Edward. In the small, quiet, room the loudest thing heard was their unheard feelings._

Jasper's phone rang and he instantly scowled which meant that it had to be Jane. He excused himself and I nodded, leaving him in the kitchen so he'd have some privacy. I walked up the stairs, wondering where Esme took Bella. My question seemed to be answered when she rounded the corner, her eyes tired.

"You don't look so well." I startled her before her favorite grimace graced her face.

"And you're charming, as per usual." She crossed her arms, avoiding eye contact with me altogether. Something wasn't right, something was making her work up. My hand reached out and touched her forearm, causing her to blink rapidly.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"You're a shit liar." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"You might've mentioned that before."

"And yet it's still true." She slapped my hand away, no hint of amusement. "Bella, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the loss of your mother." She stiffened for a moment, her eyes coming to me.

"You're a few years late." But of course she'd make this more difficult than it needed to be.

"I wanted to tell you but you ran away to god knows where. I called your cell."

"I changed my number." She said matter-of-factly. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"First, you tell me I'm a crass-asshole and now I'm too civil. There's no winning with you."

"That's not what I meant, you idiot." She snapped. "I mean why now. I've been here for nearly a month and you haven't said anything before."

"Because you typically run away when you see me." I jabbed at her with all intents.

"I don't run." She argued with thin lips. "And because you're usually saying something that probes at me or trying to stick your tongue down my throat." I smirked, the seriousness seeming to leave the conversation for just a moment.

"You didn't seem to mind when my tongue was down your throat the other day." I took a step closer and she cautiously retracted one.

"This is why you're a crass-asshole." She murmured. "You don't respect boundaries."

"But you've always known that. I don't play by the rules."

"Which is why I left in the first place." I stopped, the smile falling off my face as I saw hers. She was serious, with a straight face.

"What's the reason?" She rolled her eyes, taking another step back, wanting the distance so that she could have control over this discussion.

"Oh, please, Edward. Don't give me that." She muttered. " _You_ know why." I might, but I want the confirmation.

"I want to hear you say it."

"Why? There's no point. The past is past."

"Bella, I want to hear it from your mouth the reason why you left. I wan—" I was cut off by the loud screeching of a cell phone. Bella patted around until she got hold of her phone, sliding the answer button without even checking the screen.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Her voice was on edge and her eyes seemed to be hoping for something bad. If it were even possible, she looked more stressed than when we were children. I would think that New York and being free from her parents would put a smile on her face. She bit her lip, her hand slightly shaking. "I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and walked right past me.

"Bella, what the hell's going on?" She looked like she was running from hell itself and instead of saying anything she just rushed out, slamming the door shut behind her. Jasper peeked out from the kitchen with curiosity written all over his face.

"What happened?"

"I don't fucking know." I gritted, glowering at the door. I'm not used to being on the side of the unknown; Bella's always been so open with me that now that she isn't, it's really pissing me the fuck off. "What happened with Jane?"

"She's sleeping over her sister's house." I smirked.

"Ah Heidi." I drawled, remembering the few sex-capades we had a few years ago. I didn't precisely know she was Jane's sister at the time, but this town is small and apparently everyone's related to everyone. She was one hell of a woman, all long talons and red lips, tall with model legs and a toned physique. She had brown hair and the same baby blue eyes as her sister. "How is she?"

"Being Heidi I suppose. I rarely see her. Why don't _you_ tell me how she is?" His expression was expectant. After all, he did know about my little tryst with her and he never failed to remind me of it. I glanced at him.

"I haven't seen her, let alone slept with her, if that's what you're insinuating." He didn't say anything but a smirk danced on his lips.

* * *

I was lounging on the couch, silently drumming my finger to Nirvana when I heard the soft paddles of feet against the floor. I unplugged a headphone from my ear and turned to see it was my mom who jumped and gasped, clutching at her heart.

"Oh Edward! I thought you were a burglar." I chuckled and sat straight so I was staring at her.

"That was just sitting in the living room?" I joked and she waved her hand.

"It's late, my mind isn't thinking clearly. Why are you still up and in the dark?" She patted around until she felt the switch and then flipped on the light. She squinted lightly as did I and I saw her bare faced with her hair in curls around her soft face. She had a smile, even as she squinted to adjust to the light.

"I couldn't sleep. Why are you up?"

"I wanted a glass of water. The older I get, the thirstier I seem to become." She cocked her head to the side, her smile fading. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Mom, what's been going on with Bella?" There. Straight out. She blinked, surprised at my bluntness before regaining some sort of composure.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she looks like she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders." Esme stayed silent, thinking of the perfect words to answer my question. No doubt, calculating how to vaguely answer me. If Bella asked her to keep quiet, then she would without a doubt.

"Maybe she is." Her response was so quiet, I thought I missed it. She sighed, walking over to me and sitting down on the cushion next to me, her hands cradled on top of her lap. "Bella's got problems of her own that she's dealing with."

"What are they?"

"They're not for me to share." She replied simply and I groaned, rubbing my hand harshly against my cheek, the stubble scratching at my palms. "I think the question you should really be asking is, why do you care?"

"I've always cared when it has to do with her. You know that."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"Like she'd tell me." I scoffed, suddenly, feeling Esme's fingertips combing through my hair, grazing my scalp to release the pent up frustration.

"I think that you should try to understand her more." I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me. "Rather than asking around, you should ask her yourself. You were once closer than two people should ever be, reignite that."

"I have a plan." I mumbled and she threw her head back and laughed.

"Of course you do you gremlin." She leaned forward and pressed her lips against my temple before getting up and walking to the kitchen.

"Hey mom." I called and she turned around. "You're amazing." She beamed brightly and gave me a wink before leaving. No one gave a small pep talk like Esme Catherine Cullen McCarthy. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was two in the morning. I was going to be a little fucking shit to wake up tomorrow.

* * *

"Edward, Eric would like you to just go over this and then sign it." Angela passed me a dossier before I walked out. She was a nice girl, one of the few girls that was interested in her job more than any guy.

"Thank you, Angela." She had been my assistant for three years now and we'd progressed easily into first name basis. "You should get going, it looks like it's going to pour." She glanced out the window and sighed.

"Looks like it." She ducked under her desk and retrieved her bag. "Thank you, Edward. Have a great weekend and stay dry."

"Thank you, Angela. Same to you." Walking out I felt the breeze hit me with the musky, muggy air. It had that distinct rain smell and if that wasn't enough then the looming charcoal cloud certainly was.

When I arrived home I wasn't surprised to see Bella in the kitchen, in her high heels, but what did surprise me was that she was humming and dancing to some soft music. Watching the sway of her hips, I heard her giggle along with Alice who appeared from the corner, her eyes instantly latched to my form.

"Esme, your son's here. Hi, Edward." She waved to me and both women turned.

"Mom, Bella," I nodded. "Alice. Don't let me ruin your fun."

"It looks like you already have." Bella replied dryly. Alice climbed onto the stool, staring at me with a determined look on her face. For a small woman, she surely had a lot of ideas flooding through that mind of hers.

"What are you making?"

"Spaghetti." Alice answered. "Well more like _I'm_ watching and _they're_ making. I'm leaving soon."

"Gone so soon?"

"I have to…do stuff. Run errands." She waved her hand around before running it through her black locks. "I figured I'd get it done faster without Bella."

"You're, as always, the nicest person I know." Bella was obviously being sarcastic but it didn't even faze Alice.

"I hope you two will come tomorrow again. Rose says she's got good news to share."

"She called me earlier to invite me. I'll be here without a doubt." Bella dipped her finger into the sauce, plucking it into her mouth and licking the residue off. Alice tapped her fingernails on the counter before sliding off, pecking Esme and Bella.

"I have to go. I'll see you later?" Bella nodded. "Let me know if anything happens." She pivoted and bounced her way to me with a smile. "Bye Edward."

"Bye Alice." I helped her out and she got into a car and drove off in the opposite way. There was soft murmurings from the kitchen and I knew Bella and Esme were gossiping amongst each other.

The smell of spaghetti soon filled the house and I was starving. Dinner couldn't come soon enough. Bella served herself a glass of white wine and sipped it from time to time, her action very constrained.

In the strangely quiet surroundings, thunder suddenly cracked, presenting itself in a loud glory. It felt like the house could've shaken with its power, making Bella flinch slightly. She was nervous when it came to thunder and she'd always call me from her bed to talk until she fell asleep. Her eyes glanced to me and I gave her a wink.

"It seems the storm has started." Esme mused, peeking out the window at the rough raindrops scattering faster and harder than they have in years. Storms were relaxing; they soothed the mind and calmed the body so I was always inclined to enjoy them unlike Bella. She preferred the sun and the heat.


	7. Chapter 6

Hello! The next two or three chapters of this story will be a bit shorter, but not by much. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 _The day was murky and muggy, quiet, except for two certain teenagers. The events of one day left everyone appalled and speechless. Even Bella didn't have actual words to form. The trees were weighed down by the rain from the night before and the ground was all soggy, squeaking between the soles of peoples' shoes._

 _Girls had their hairs tied up in ponytails to avoid a frizzy mess and uselessly opened umbrellas over their heads. It wasn't raining per se but there was definitely some perspiration in the sky. It was the awful in between fog and rain mist. In addition to the mist it was also cold, considering the December air. This didn't stop Edward from wearing his signature coats. One leather for more laid back days and one navy pea coat for when he felt it was a little cold, even for him. In this weather, his leather jacket was the one of signature, giving him the cool persona of every bad boy all girls wanted to encounter. The bad boys with untamable hair and the cocky smirk they saw on TV. The, Cry Baby, Johnny Depp women wished for. It wasn't something he intentionally pursued but rather saw it as comfort and ease, so he was merely given that status. A status he didn't shy away from._

 _He wasn't just a pretty face, he was a piece of work. He had a flaring temper that set off at any instance with a filthy cursing mouth. He was possessive and unafraid to use his fists to set the record straight. In fact, he's been written up a few times by teachers that have actually seen him. The other times he's managed to escape unscathed because no one told the deans when it came to fights; it was seen as a cowardly move._

 _He was untamable, uncontrollable and intolerable, everything the girls in Forks High School died for. They hoped to be that good girl that would change the rebel bad boy into a docile man by their side. He had his pickings of girls which he regularly enjoyed. However, there was only one girl that could change his attitude from one end of the spectrum to the other. A girl he kept both near his heart and at arm's distance._

 _Edward was quietly walking through when a woman made her way to him. She had seen the whole thing and made Bella leave so she didn't see the rest unfold. She thought it was unnecessary and pointless._

 _"You're being a piece of shit, Edward." Rosalie snarled, her pretty features twisting and turning at the blood on Edward's hand. Rose's hair was picked up in a messy bun with pieces falling around her face and her eyes were glaring daggers at Edward's slightly guilty, slightly satisfied form._

 _"He hit me first and suddenly_ I'm _the piece of shit?" He grabbed his hand, which was throbbing from the punch, and ran it under cold water, hissing at the stinging feeling of the cool water on the open skin. Emmett was a bulldozer and his body was as hard as steel, so it's no surprise he split the skin open. Rosalie yanked his hand from the faucet, shutting it off and pointed a slender finger at him._

 _"Emmett was doing the right thing because you decided to go all ballistic when Bella was talking to some guy." She flicked her eyes at his hand pointedly. "You clean that with peroxide not water." Rosalie was friends with Emmett and Edward and their fist fight surprised her immensely. She never thought she'd actually live to see the day it would happen._

 _"You have no right to judge me." He fired back but instead of backing down, like most people did when it came to Edward's temper, she stood her ground. Very few could stand up to him, the only few being Rosalie, Emmett, his parents and Bella._

 _"I don't need the right to judge you. I'm telling you that you need a psychologist. I don't know how Bella puts up with you." She crossed her arms, scowling at his still bleeding hand. "Your anger is a huge turn-off." Edward smirked at her with smarminess, his perversion always a deflection._

 _"I didn't know you were interested on that level, Rose." She snorted at his audacity. Rosalie ever saw him as family—a hot tempered family member that she'd like to beat over the head with a shoe._

 _"Don't flatter yourself, you fucker, what I'm saying is that I can't believe Bella can deal with your bullshit." He frowned at her words._

 _"Bella knows how to tame me."_

 _"It's more than she needs Edward." Rosalie reasoned. She knew that Bella's crush on him has helped blind her somewhat, but the reality was that Bella really did tame him. He could kill a whole slew of people but as soon as he saw Bella he'd reason logically. She knew that he wouldn't hurt her, but Bella's crush on him had grown and Rose knew the type of guy Edward was, or rather the type of guy he wasn't. He might be interested in Bella, but to settle down? No. He wasn't interested in remaining faithful and she felt sorry for her friend for experiencing a one way street when it came to him. She tried to advise her but she couldn't take away the credit that Edward was there for her, like no other person, when she needed him. Whether that was to laugh or to cry, he was always at her side._

 _Edward plucked out a cigarette, using his good hand to light it and took a steep drag. The fumes filled his lungs, an almost welcoming, toxic, greeting. It seemed all things poisonous were a part of him, the only thing that was truly bright and innocent in his life was Bella, an untainted creature he had around him. He could swear she was like his moral conscious._

 _"She doesn't deserve to be in the middle of your constant brawls because you can't control your jealousy." Edward removed the cigarette and blew out the smoke, making Rose's nose scrunch as she waved her hand to scatter the cloud of smoke. She loathed smoking._

 _"Bella knows me better than anyone. She understands me."_

 _"That doesn't make it right." His anger was still at bay but it was starting to overflow with Rose's two cents._

 _"I wasn't asking you so therefore, as much as I enjoyed this conversation, I'm leaving." Edward turned away from the annoyed blonde haired beauty. "And don't think I don't care about Emmett, I'm going to visit him." Good hand stuffed in his pocket, he walked alongside the street to let the mist of Forks settle his fire._

It had been raining for an hour straight with the crackling of thunder opening the skies and lightening blazing through. The rain only fell harder and since it didn't stop it had flooded the streets. It was impossible to drive now with this weather and from the looks of the dark gray sky, tinged with a pink hue, it didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

Esme sighed constantly, checking outside for Carlisle, while Bella played with her fingers. She seemed uneasy and I wasn't sure if it was just the thunder now, it seemed to be something else. Three phones vibrated with dangerous power alerting us all. When I checked, I saw it was an alert of a 'Storm Watch,' with warnings advising people to not leave their homes in these conditions.

"I should call your father." Esme breathed staring at her screen. "He'll probably spend the night away from home." She placed a hand on Bella's shoulder. "Bella, sweetheart, stay the night with us." Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head and her jaw slacked. I chuckled at the sight of something so comical.

"No Esme it's okay. I can't—"

"Don't tell me you think you can actually leave in this?" I inquired with a raised eyebrow and she pursed her lips.

"I have to."

"Your shoes alone will kill you on the way to your car." Her stilettoes looked like they'd make her trip and if she broke her ankle, then we were screwed because there was no hospital.

"Edward's right, stay the night. We have a spare room for you to spend the night comfortably." She looked lost before sighing in resignation.

"Okay, thank you, Esme."

"This has always been your home, sweetheart." She gave her a small smile and then turned to me. "I'm calling Carlisle. Be back in a few." She left to have a private conversation when thunder banged louder and Bella jumped.

"It seems some things never change." I snickered and she glared at me.

"Clearly."

"Oh come on, lighten up, baby." I'm sure she'd shoot me daggers if she could, because her jaw locked, only fueling my amusement.

"Edward. Shut. Up. I'm not your baby." It was as if she had to constantly tell me she wasn't mine, a thought that was unsettling. I ground my teeth.

"Of course you are." Esme returned, staring between us at both of our tight faces. She played it off though and walked in with a smile.

"Your dad won't be home tonight, but he sends his love to you both." She turned her head retrospectively. "Edward." I moved my head fractionally towards her, not breaking eye contact with Bella. "Why don't you show Bella where she'll be sleeping?" Bella's eyes wavered and she blinked. Esme had a secretive smile and I realized she was trying to help in the only way she could.

"Sure. Bella?" She stood up gracefully and walked by my side up the stairs. It was a quiet way up but it was progressive. The room at the end of the hall way a few feet next to mine was the one she'd be sleeping in, I opened the door and she walked through, studying her surroundings.

"Cream and beige." She murmured softly and I nodded.

"Esme thought that those colors would be the most inviting to whoever slept here. She said it would match with any curtains and duvet." Bella's hand traveled along the silk duvet, heading towards the end of the room. We'd only been in this room once when we were younger and it was a frigid white color because Esme hadn't decided what to do with it.

She might hate me, but when has that ever stopped me from doing anything before? I closed the door, causing her to whip around to face me—alarmed. I locked it and she became nervous.

"Edward, what are you doing? Open the door."

"I will." I said with my hand still on the knob. "After we talk."

"You can't be serious." She flabbergasted and I nodded.

"Oh trust me, I am." My voice was firm and she bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes glancing around wildly. "Bella you're acting as if you're in a room with a serial killer. It's fucking me." Her attitude was seriously starting to piss me the fuck off. I wasn't this horrible monster she made me feel like I was. My throat felt strained and my breathing came out heavier.

"I just want to leave."

"It seems that's your quick pro quo." I shot back. "You run from everything." Her eyes flashed.

"You don't know anything, shut up."

"I _want_ to know. Why is it that you used to tell me anything and now you can barely look at me?"

"Because things changed."

"Because you wanted them too."

"Oh excuse me." She clapped sarcastically. "I forgot I was supposed to be waiting for you in the wings all my fucking life. Eight years ago was the final straw, Edward."

"Then tell me."

"For what! You know what I'm talking about." I made my way closer to her, tapping my temple with my finger.

"Why is it so hard to understand that I want _you_ to tell me? I don't want images, I don't want memories. I want your words. I want you to communicate with me." Her shoulders sagged and her eyes released some of their fury.

I wasn't an idiot but I wanted to hear her thoughts. I was left alone to conclude on my own, to deal with things my own way. When she left, things didn't just change for her, they changed for me. Someone I had spent seventeen years of my life with suddenly vanished, without a single trace or word to anyone.

"Edward I—"

"Be honest. For fuck's sake Bella, just please, be honest with me. I want to see things through your eyes."

"You never will be able to see things through my eyes."

"Maybe not literally, but figuratively." She rubbed her lips together the sound of thunder cracking in the window behind her, but she remained still, pondering her options. She could run if she really wanted to, it's not like I could particularly force her to stay in this room.

"So if I tell you, you'll leave me alone?"

"You and I both know you don't want that completely." My eyes ran down her form and she shifted her feet. "Your body wants mine next to yours. I see your reactions, I know every movement and what it means."

"Then what do I get out of this?"

"I'll let you hit me with your heel." She pursed her lip, reminding me so much of a twelve year old Bella contemplating my deal to let her eat all my ice cream if she'd wrestle with me.

"We're not children anymore to deal with these negotiations." She whispered but then her eyes twinkled. "But fine. It'll be a weight off my chest." I grabbed her hand and led her to the bed so that we sat face to face in the middle of the mattress. She slipped off the high heels, tossing them softly onto the ground, and hiding her feet beneath her. "Story time, Cullen." She murmured and I swallowed. My sins to be laid flat on a platter at this very moment.

Bella tucked a stray hair behind her ear and drummed her fingers against her knee. It felt like I had a ticking clock in my mind that was agonizing my torture with this wait. I could practically feel my eye twitching in this quiet madness.


	8. Chapter 7

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

Bella was wearing her oversized t-shirt with a pair of capris pants and her low top white converse. Her face was bare from products now that her dad inspected her room. She thought it was ludicrous and even though her mom tried to stop him, he did it regardless.

Bella sat on the bleachers watching as Edward ran with his shoulder pads and jumped in midair, catching the ball right in between his hands. He landed safely and Bella squealed, clapping frantically. She didn't hear her own squeal, however, because below her were the row of women that adored Edward like a god, holding a banner with his name on it. It was only practice but they didn't seem to care. Bella rolled her eyes, her lips twitching as she stared back at the man she adored running to the other side and making a touchdown.

When they saw him jump up and down, the girls with the banners took it as their cue to stand and cheer too. They were wearing short dresses to emphasize their bodies but forgot to bring a sweater to cover up. Goosebumps were along their arms and some even shivered, but they plastered smiles and waved their hands in the attempt to call the attention of one of the hottest boys in Forks.

Bella took her cell phone in her hands and walked down the steps onto the field where she saw him shaking his hair, his scalp damp with sweat. He was exhausted and ready for a huge burger and a liter of water. Both their eyes connected and smiles spread across their faces.

"Hey." Bella greeted. "Nice hair." Edward rolled his eyes, attempting to do something with his hair before giving up.

"Thanks."

"Oh and good catch too." She teased and he smirked.

"Ha, ha, very funny." He inspected her and frowned. "Aren't you cold? It's a little breezy out here." She shrugged.

"I'm okay."

"Edward!" One of his teammates called, catching their attention. He saw him and Bella and felt like an ass for interrupting. "We're headed to the lockers." Edward nodded solemnly.

"I'll meet you there." He turned back to Bella and gave her the football. "Here hold this. I'll be out in ten minutes, okay?"

"Okay." She agreed simply, clutching the object to her chest as he left her. She decided to walk outside, away from the little drones.

"Bella." A voice called and she turned out of instinct seeing a familiar handsome face. Mike was one of Fork's newest addition and both had taken an interest in the other. He had blonde hair with deep brown eyes and perfectly chiseled lips. He had a pleasant voice and made Bella blush.

"Mike. What are you doing here?"

"I _was_ going to try out for football." He chuckled. "But it seems I'm over two hours late."

"How in the world are you _two hours_ late?"

"I confused practice with try out. Don't even ask." He had quickly glanced at the wrong schedule only to feel like an idiot when the coach corrected him. The only good thing that came out of this was seeing Bella, so today wasn't so bad for him. Her bareness called to him and her indifference to the male population intrigued him. He never saw her at parties, or out after school—in fact seeing her here was a miracle for him. "Why are you here?"

"I came to watch the practice."

"And what'd you conclude?" He tested and she smiled.

"That we might actually win homecoming." She giggled and the sound brightened his smile. He walked closer but she didn't seem to mind. She enjoyed cute boys talking to her, she didn't feel so much like an alien.

"Oh I do hope so or the coach will probably have an aneurism."

"And considering they have a whole season ahead of them that would be very inconvenient." They both laughed, enjoying the mindless chatter they were talking. When they fell silent, Bella glanced at the floor and traced little shapes with the tip of her shoe.

"Bella, I was wondering—"

"Bella." Edward's sharp voice cut in and she caught the angry look in his eyes as he glowered at Mike. Edward walked out to see Bella's shyness while Mike gleamed with content and determination. A determination that Edward would crush easily. Mike turned to see him and gave him a polite nod.

"Edward, I heard the practice went well."

"Bella is the judge of that." He pointedly reassured that she was there, subtly hinting that she was there for him, which in all truth, she was. Bella bit her lip, her cheeks pink and Edward slung his arm over her shoulder possessively. "If you'll excuse us, Mike, we have somewhere to be." Before the boy could get a full word out, Edward turned them and walked in the opposite direction without uttering a word. Bella silently danced at the fact that once again he was jealous. A fact that should scare her, but it didn't. She was a little strange herself.

"He wants you." Edward bit out stiffly and Bella peeked up at him, the ball still in her hands.

"What?"

"He wants you." He repeated in the same tone. "But he's stupid because he can't have you."

"Why not—" Edward stopped and turned to face her.

"You're mine, Bella." He emphasized with wide, emerald, eyes. Bella sighed at the same statement.

"What does that even mean, Edward?" He gripped her hands in one of his and then traced a finger along her cheek bones which were contrasting sharply.

"It means exactly that. That you are—" He bent his head so that his tall form was closer to her, his lips hovering over hers. She stopped breathing, her eyes glued to his lips, in anxious anticipation. "Mine." He bent down, sealing the deal between both of them. The silent unspoken words transferred when smooth, cool, lips touched hers and lit a fire in her core. She found her body responding of its own accord.

Her own lips moved against his but with some hesitation. This was her first kiss and she was nowhere as skilled or experienced as Edward was. He felt the familiar flutter in his stomach and groaned, slowly releasing her hands and wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her chest closer to his.

At this moment, Bella didn't worry if she was doing it right or if she was messing up. She was letting her body take control and by the sound that escaped his lips, she seemed to be doing a decent job. Besides the feeling of utter bliss and content against her lips, she started feeling a strange sensation in between her legs. One that had her wanting more friction to alleviate it. Edward remembered they were in the middle of the street and pulled back, putting his forehead on hers, his breath coming out shorter.

"You're mine." He repeated seriously and this time Bella didn't argue. Instead, she smiled brightly and nodded once.

"Yours." The words he had so desperately wanted to hear were finally a reality and it made him feel like a man in complete happiness. She's never accepted it but finally hearing her changed the spectrum. Little did he know that his worries would get the best of him, ruining a special memory, and therefore hurting the girl he adored. He entwined their hands, walking down the street towards her house. Bella dreaming of fairytales and romantic endings in real life.

* * *

One week had passed since the day Edward kissed Bella and she still felt like the same day. She was smiling more, seeing the beauty even in the dark, clouded, sky. She woke up in the morning, played her music and spun around in a twirl as she sang along. Her mother watched her from a distance with a smile of content while her father was becoming suspicious.

Today she was with a similar attitude, but did feel somewhat disturbed by Edward's lack of attention in the last two days. It seemed he was spacing off and a constant frown marred his face. She knew something was going on but gave him space to think. Edward and Bella never officially became anything but that's the way all of Forks High saw them.

They had been unofficially together since the beginning. She was the only girl he'd walk to each class, even if he had a girlfriend. She was the only girl he'd sit with at lunch to have a one on one conversation with and she was the only girl that could tease him mercilessly while laughing without his offense. To the student body, nothing changed, to Edward and Bella, a whole lot shifted.

"Bye mom." She called as she ran down the stairs into the muggy Forks air. Charlie had gone to work with frown lines on his face, but everyone assumed that it was because of a case. Renee watched her little chicklet start to spread her wings from the kitchen.

Bella walked to the bus stop, humming and then reached school in record time. She saw a group of Edward's friends sitting by the ledge of the steps, football in hand. They saw her and waved as she waved back.

"Hi Bella." Riley called, tossing the football into the air.

"Hi Riley." Edward's friends had always been kind to her but that was due to the fact that half of them were interested in her. The downside to that was that she was Edward's girl and no one touched Edward's girl.

She walked in, heading to her locker as she briefly glanced down at her cell phone. Alice sent her a text for her to go visit this summer. Alice was missing her cousin, considering she was the only one she actually got along with.

At the sound of the bell, she scattered her books and head off to her class. She saw Edward throughout the day and they spoke but he still looked stressed. She couldn't pinpoint it but she'd ask him right after school. They usually met up to go home anyways, Edward never liked her heading home by herself.

When her last class finished, she saw everyone fly out, including the teacher. She walked amongst the mass of students who glanced at her briefly. The blonde, statuesque, girls that pined after Edward analyzed her, wondering what he saw in _her._ She wasn't ugly, but she was nothing extravagant. She didn't even fully go through puberty—she was a late bloomer.

Bella pulled out her trusty chap stick and smeared it all over her lips, the flavor of cherry ever present. It was the only bit of product she was allowed to use. She walked around the corner to leave school while getting a better grip on her books when she looked up and stopped in place.

By the stairway, Edward was there, leaned against his locker with a packet of cigarettes in his hand. In front of him was the mousy brown haired girl, Jessica, but what made her nauseous was the fact that she was pressed up against him, _kissing_ his lips. She had her hands on his shoulder while his was at his side, his eyes closed and his lips moving.

Bella's hands lost all blood, she suddenly questioned if she even had hands because she couldn't feel them. All she felt was immense pain in her chest. She felt the way her throat closed up on her and her eyes filled with tears, prickling painfully. Feeling her breath shorten, she took a strangled breath and choked, her eyes unable to tear away from the scene.

Edward was busy trying to regain control of himself with no success. He was merely kissing another girl, just feeling lips against his, nothing different than any other girl he tried. Except for one. He opened his eyes while moving his lips against this girl and at the motion he caught the sight of dark mahogany hair exiting the school.

Bella rushed through the parking lot, wiping her tears from her eyes and holding her breath so she wouldn't start sobbing. She ran to the corner before Edward would come wandering for her and thanked the stars that the bus arrived a minute earlier than scheduled. She hopped on, avoiding the concern stares of the bus driver and skidded to the back, where no one could see her.

The window was streaky with old rain drops and she stared at the old road, feeling the soft bumps of the bus beneath her. Tears rolled down her face silently and she tightened her fist against her heart, her books scattered on her lap. Eyes flickered to her repeatedly, questions flying through everyone's mind. Why was Chief Swan's daughter crying?

The bus ride seemed an eternity long and when she finally arrived, she dried her tears and took several deep breaths to compose herself. No use in alerting her mother, let alone her father who would interrogate her like in the Spanish Inquisition.

"Mom, dad." Bella called, clearing her throat and catching the sudden silence of her parents.

"In the kitchen." Renee answered, biting on her finger when her daughter walked through. Something immediately seemed off with Bella, her attitude was serious, so unlike her, especially lately. Bella saw Charlie hunched over the kitchen table, his head bowed and his knuckles pressed against his forehead.

"Dad?" Bella hadn't seen her father in this position in years. Something wasn't right. Charlie lifted his head and saw his bright, young, beautiful daughter, standing with concern etched on her brow. He couldn't believe how blessed he had been to have her and he vowed to protect her innocence.

"Bella," He swallowed, standing up and pushing his seat back with a loud screeching sound. Renee winced but stayed silent. She was observing Bella. "We're moving." Bella's eyes went wide and Renee bit the inside of her cheek, waiting for a small tantrum to commence. As the seconds passed by, it never happened, easing her slightly.

"Why?"

"I've been laid off." Charlie said his voice filled with anger and shame. He hadn't finished college due to the fact that Renee had given birth to Bella and they had to become adults. Since his college education was limited, he was unable to get any other job in Forks. He fought with the head to let him stay since he put so many years into this but he was brushed off and disposed of. "We're leave for Arizona. On Friday." He stated. "I'll get a new job there and we can start again."

Bella's body was in shock. She didn't want to leave and start a new life, she had her small group of friends, her life, her school work, her Edward.

 _Edward,_ she thought. A lump formed in her throat but she refused to cry again. She was done with this life and thought that maybe Arizona would treat her better.

"Okay, dad." Charlie smiled in relief that one person seemed to be completely on board. Renee was having trouble accepting this transition and he didn't blame her. He didn't want to leave Forks but it was the only thing left to do. He put a hand on his daughter's cheek and nodded.

"Thank you, kiddo." He meant it. "Now go and relax." He jutted his chin to the living room. "You have school tomorrow." Bella shook her head, brushing off her father.

"I don't want to go to school." Renee and Charlie frowned at their daughter, confused.

"Why not?"

"Because…there's no point. We're leaving the day after tomorrow. I should help pack." In reality, she didn't want to see Edward. She didn't want to face him again after what she saw. Her blood was boiling and she would surely want to drown him.

"Okay." Her father acquiesced and something within her relaxed. Bella took this as her cue and ran up the stairs, knocking off her converses and jumping into her bed. She curled into a ball and ignored the vibrating phone on her night table.

There was a soft knock on the door and in walked Renee, in her blonde beauty. Bella always admired her beauty and had no question as to why her father fell in love with her in the first place. She attracted men wherever she went.

Renee saw Bella on her bed and pressed her lips together. Charlie was downstairs, wrapping the plates with newspaper, tuning the radio to the news station. Renee sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand down Bella's face, feeling the stickiness of the dried tears. Her heart hurt a bit to see her daughter like this and she imagined it to be a boy.

"What happened, Bella?"

"Nothing, mom." Her response was an automatic defense. One Renee did not buy. "I'm exhausted and the move came as a surprise."

"You seemed so accepting of it."

"There's not much I could do about it. Dad already chose for us." A final decision that no one was going to change. "Arizona can be a new change. A good change." _Hopefully,_ she added in her mind.

"And your friends?"

"I love Rose and Emmett. They'll understand." She nodded.

"And Edward?" Bella inwardly cringed at the name, the fresh image of his tongue down Jessica Stanley's throat vivid in her mind. Renee saw how she tightened herself into her ball and assumed she hit the jackpot. Bella stayed silent, tracing imaginary patterns on her sheets. "And Esme and Carlisle?"

"I'll miss them so much." Her voice actually cracked. Esme was her second mother and Carlisle? He was her second father. She thought of him more of a father than Charlie sometimes and envied how understanding they were towards Edward. Carlisle was always the person to fix her up when she broke anything and tended to her since she was a child.

"Me too." Renee teared, thinking of leaving her best friend of over twenty years. Esme was her sister and she couldn't bear to tell her the news of her departure.

"Mom, can I ask you for something?"

"Of course, sweetie. What is it?"

"Please don't tell Esme where we're going." Renee blinked at her request but Bella knew that if she said something to Esme then she'd tell Edward.

"Why not?"

"I…don't want Edward to know." She whispered feeling the tight ache in her heart as she said his name. Renee leaned forward and combed through her daughter's hair, hoping to get her to open up.

"Bella, you love Edward, why wouldn't you tell him?"

"Because I don't want to. Please don't ask me, mom." Her bottom lip trembled and although Renee burned with curiosity she remained silent. She wasn't going to open up to her, she knew that, but she could at least try to ease her.

"Okay, Bella." Renee leaned down and pressed her full lips against Bella's temple. A simple motherly gesture that Bella appreciated so much, especially at this very moment. "I love you, honey. Have some rest."

"Thank you." Renee gave her a small smile as she got up and walked towards the door. "Mom." Bella called and Renee turned over her shoulder to look at her. "One day I'll tell you. I promise." More at ease, Renee nodded and let her daughter have a moment to herself.

Bella wrapped herself up and closed her eyes. Edward always had women around him, it was second nature to him and he always paid attention to them. Whether it was to have sex with them or to date them, he always paid attention to them. Bella was used to that fact and tried to remain unbothered by it, but this time it did bother her. It hurt her because she thought things were different. He had finally kissed her and spent more time with her than usual making her think he was taking things seriously as well. But with the events of today it disproved everything she believed. She wouldn't have cared if he would have told her they were nothing serious, but he let her believe.

 _'Edward doesn't care who he hurts.'_ Bella thought, flipping her back to her phone and to her friendship with Edward.

Little did she know that Edward was in his room bouncing his leg impatiently as he called for the twenty-third time, only to reach her voicemail. Her bright greeting stung him making him feel like a bigger ass for hurting such a happy girl. He pulled on his hair and flung his phone against his wall, cracking the screen. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette and plucked it into his mouth as he lit it and inhaled the toxic fumes.

 _'Tomorrow,'_ he thought, leaning his head against his arm. _'Tomorrow I'll explain. I'll change it all.'_ But tomorrow never comes.


	9. Chapter 8

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend! Enjoy this chapter.

Ness

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

"There's your story." Bella finished with a heavy sigh while I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "For someone so talkative you're pretty quiet."

"I'm thinking of a response." I knew what I had done, but I never knew…I never knew Chief Swan was laid off. I always assumed Bella asked to leave to avoid me. "I looked for you at school the next day." I whispered. "I tried to talk to you—to fully exp—"

"Explain what? How deep your tongue went down her throat?" Bella cut off sharply. "No thank you. Spare me the details." I frowned.

"I didn't go looking for Jessica. She came looking for me." It wasn't a lie. I had every intention of meeting up with Bella that afternoon like every afternoon. I was surprised to see her come up to me when I closed my locker door.

"What are you talking about?"

"She came to _me._ " I pointed at my chest. "She kissed _me._ " Jessica had said a few things but I was ignoring her completely. I glanced up to see if I saw Bella when I felt her grab my neck and pull me down to kiss her.

"In order to claim rape you have to say no." She retorted.

"For the love of god, shut up, woman. Let me fucking finish my train of thought." She glared at me but gave me my time. "I'm not saying that I didn't kiss Jessica back, but I am saying that I didn't make an appointment to kiss her by my locker. That would be too obvious, don't you think?" The sarcasm was heard in my own ears.

"There's such thing as pushing away."

"You know what, Bella? I didn't okay. I kissed her back because I wanted to regain control of myself again, to have the upper hand." Bella blinked, leaning back a bit.

"Upper hand?" Might as well.

"You…you controlled me like no other person did. When I kissed you and spent more time with you I was losing any sort of control I had. I would have done _anything_ for you. I still would." I promised. "But at the time, I couldn't handle it. I kept thinking that I gave you too much space to toy with me and break me in the end. _I_ wanted the upper hand."

"I—you're such an asshole!" She yelled. "It wasn't about control, it was about feelings! My feelings!" She looked ferocious. "You don't give a shit who you hurt. You have no boundaries."

"Hold it right there." I pointed a finger. "Don't you dare cluster yourself with the bunch. _You're_ different."

"Like the hell I am."

"I was a fucking kid Bella. I was busy smoking my life away and getting adored by women. I wasn't looking to get married with a white picket fence and having two and a half kids." I hissed furiously. "You fucking ran. You left me without a single goodbye."

"You didn't deserve one."

"I was worried something happened to you. Rose cried on my shoulder for a week and Emmett nearly beat the shit out of me _again_ when he caught wind of what happened." Anger was an understatement. "I went to your house the next day. I rang the doorbell and Renee refused to let me see you." I remember the feeling of desperation that I felt when I had no news of her and when I wasn't allowed to see her.

"I told her not to."

"I wanted to talk to you."

"It wasn't about what _you_ wanted anymore, Edward." She said sternly. "It was finally time to think of me."

"I missed you." I confessed earnestly. "I was a fucking mess when you left. I got suspended from school for breaking someone's nose. I drank my life away to the point that I nearly had alcohol poisoning." Carlisle nearly killed me for that stunt. "I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day and nearly killed anyone who talked to me. You fucking left me and moved on with your life." She flared up like a fireball.

"Don't fucking tell me that your life was so hard and that _I_ had it easy. My life has been a living fucking hell. Girls used me to get to you!" She accused with a perfect manicured nail. "I was backstabbed every fucking time because you'd fuck every girl I was friends with." Her cheeks enflamed with the rush of blood to her face. "When I fucking left we had to move to New York three months later because my dad couldn't find shit. My life wasn't fucking lilies and roses in New York." She kneeled and shoved at my chest, pounding rough, as she released her anger. I pressed my lips and held her tight. "You have _no_ fucking clue what my life's been like."

"Tell me." I pressed now more than ever wanting to know and since she was talking, I was hoping to take advantage of that. "What was life for the confined Bella?"

"I. Hate. You." She said stoically, her chest rising and falling with every breath she took. I was pushing her to the edge but she had to be pushed there for her to open up.

"Did you get depressed?" I cocked my head to press her and I saw her body twitch.

"No I slept with everyone that came in my view." She shot back viciously and I froze with wide eyes. _What?_

"What the fuck?" Her posture was still rigid but she wasn't as hostile. She saw that the news hit me the wrong way and she was going to use it to her advantage.

"You had your way of dealing with your life; I had mine." She replied. "I lost my virginity two months into living in New York to someone I barely knew."

"Why the fuck would you do that? Losing your virginity should've been specia—"

"Oh don't tell me, roses delicately placed on the bed surrounded by candles?"

"Special."

"This is coming from the man that took girls' virginities for a sport in high school?" She let out a bitter laugh. "Go bang your chest and preach to someone who cares." She sneered, sliding off the bed.

"You're lying." My body was in total denial of what she had told me.

"No, every finger a man touched me with and every kiss I felt was realistic." The extra pop in her voice was the edge that pushed me closer to my cracking point. "What? Did you want to hear that I wanted you to be my first?" Her voice drawled mockingly and my jaw ticked in response. Actually, I would've preferred it and the anger in my veins was proof of that when I imagined her with any faceless male.

"You probably would've been." She admitted in a small voice, catching me completely off guard. "In fact, I know I would've given it to you if time had passed." She shrugged. "Cliché isn't it? Giving up my virginity to my best friend and all." She waved her hand around and my lips felt dry.

"You love cliché." I retorted. "I would've taken care of you. Made you mine in a way that yo—" Her jaw tightened and she swung her feet over the side of the bed.

"My life is _mine_. You have no part in it anymore." My hand fisted to the point of sharp blades for knuckles as I imagined Bella laid back against a mattress. Her hair sprayed around the pillow and her body bowing with pleasure as lips grazed every inch of her skin to light her up like a firework. The image had me seeing red and wanting to break the nose of every man that touched her.

"No matter what you say I'll always be a part of your life. Whether you like it or not." We glowered at each other, standing our grounds. "You better get used to the fact, baby." I slid off the mattress, passing her and heading towards the door. "I'll leave the queen to her kingdom for the night." Thunder cracked and she bit her lip.

"Keep Kurt Cobain down for the night please." She turned her back on me and I left, slamming the door behind me and pressing the heels of my palms against my eyes.

"Bullshit." I spat. "Fucking bullshit." As I walked down the stairs to get a beer, Esme peeked in with a small, hopeful, smile.

"How'd it go?" She whispered and I snorted as I removed the cap and threw it into the garbage.

"Dandy. Just fucking dandy." I took a drag from it and walked up the stairs into my room to enjoy the loud patters of raindrops.

* * *

I rummaged through the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. It was two in the morning and the rain had only slightly started to slow. I spent the last four hours trying to create a face to the people that Bella has been with. Just the fucking thought of it made my vision blur and my nostrils flare.

I heard the light steps of bare feet against the floor making me check it out. I saw a black mass moving to the drawers where Esme stored all the movies we owned. I leaned against the threshold and crossed my arms across my chest, suspending the bottle of water in mid-air.

"Audrey Hepburn calling your name so late at night?" The figure jolted and gasped, whipping around with a hand to her heart. I didn't need to see her to know that it was Bella tip-toeing her way around my house so that she didn't disturb anyone. I leaned to my side and flicked the light on, confirming my assumptions.

Bella stood with a guilty expression and wide eyes. Her face was stripped bare of any makeup, reminding me of the girl I knew years ago. She looked beautiful with no makeup on; she didn't need it.

"You scared me." She whispered, glancing to the stairs probably checking to see if Esme woke up. "No Kurt Cobain?" I gave her a small smile at the fact she remembered such trivial things.

"He was playing upstairs as I mulled about life. Now I have headphones instead of a stereo to listen to him." Kurt Cobain was the voice that I listened to at all times. Nirvana was classic and nothing beat the classics. There was a small silence between us but our eye contact didn't end. "How did Renee die?" Her eyes flashed sadness.

"Accidental overdose." So Esme had told me the truth. She told me when I asked her and when the initial shock wore off, I wondered if I was being told the truth.

"I'm sorry." I walked over to her and ran my fingertips down her temple. She shuddered and closed her eyes. "I'm really sorry." I pressed my lips onto her forehead and she sniffled, crashing reality down. I can't imagine what it was like to have the only parent with you die. She must've been devastated.

I pulled away and glanced down at her, running my fingers by her eyes to catch any tears that threatened to fall. Her eyes opened and ours met, freezing our surroundings for the moment. Our lips were barely brushing one another when one of us closed the distance and connected us. Her body enflamed with a fire and mine came alive from its hibernation. Her hands reached to the hair on my nape, twirling it in her fingers, bringing forth a sensation of pleasure and relaxation. I groaned into her mouth and she pressed herself harder against me. Our breathing was heavy and louder than before and my erection was twitching with the urge to push her against a wall and slam inside of her.

Her breath was warm and her tongue danced expertly against mine. She no longer waited for me to take the lead, but rather she kept up with me with absolutely no problem. I pulled away and sucked in a lungful of air to stabilize myself. My body craved more but my brain knew that this was going to end bad if we continued the way my body wanted to. I reached down and picked the movie she came searching for, placing it in the space between us.

"Breakfast at Tiffany's." I said simply and she stared at it with swollen, red, lips. "The movie you watch during a thunderstorm." Her hands took it and I ran mine through my hair. "Let's go." I heard the TV go on and I knew that pretty soon Moon River would ease her into sleep.

* * *

As expected, Bella left before I woke up telling Esme she'd be back later tonight. The storm finally subsided and the sun was hiding behind a few clouds. Carlisle arrived home in his sweater and lab coat about an hour after Bella left. He had his medical bag in his hand and bags under his eyes.

"Are you alright, dad?" I asked and he managed a nod, although his eyes were struggling to remain open. Esme passed him his mug of black coffee, no sugar, with a shot of espresso.

"Yes." He sighed. "Just a long night."

"You should get some rest before Rose and Emmett come later tonight." Carlisle nodded mindlessly and yawned, covering his mouth with his hand.


	10. Chapter 9

Hey guys! Hope you enjoy

Ness

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

Around six o'clock there was a knock on the door. Carlisle took a siesta before they arrived and was now energized and ready to host. Esme was removing the chicken from the oven, slamming the door shut.

"Edward, honey, could you get that?"

"Sure." I made my way over there and opened the door, revealing Emmett's towering six foot-three form. He had a grin on his face and he immediately pounded hands with me.

"Edward, good to see you." He gave me a hug and I stepped to the side to let him in.

"We saw each other three days ago." He paid me no mind and helped in his wife who was wrapped in a coat as she hurried in to escape the gust of cold air that blew. She shivered and Emmett rubbed her arms up and down with his hands to create some sort of friction.

"Hi Edward." Rosalie pecked my cheek with a smile and then moved to the kitchen to everyone else. "Mm, it smells delicious in here!" A car pulling up called my attention and I saw it was Bella's car. Out walked Bella and her cousin Alice who ran quickly through the open door to escape the cold wind.

"Hi Edward," Alice greeted, removing her large black sunglasses from her face. Her hair was mussed due to the wind and I noticed slight bags under her eyes.

"Hi Alice." I grabbed her coat and she moved on. "Bella." I nodded but she barely looked at me. Her eyes were somewhere else, spaced out, which made me frown. She seemed to have sensed my presence because she snapped out of it and handed me her coat.

"Edward." She quickly went into the kitchen where she was received with warm welcomes and squeals. The jackets went into my room and by the time I walked back down, dinner was served on the table and everyone was waiting behind their seats for me to join them.

Carlisle had the glass of wine in his hand as I took my spot behind my seat, in front of Bella, waiting for the announcement.

"Rosalie and Emmett have told us they have exciting news to share, so before we commence in Esme's feast, I'll let them take the stage." He smiled and gestured for Rosalie to continue. Her face lit up and she suddenly started twiddling her fingers nervously. Bella stood beside her with a look of exhaustion on her face. Her bags were terrible and her skin was sallow today.

"Thank you for having me here." She glanced at both Carlisle and Esme. "Emmett and I have something very…beautiful to share." She reached for Emmett's large hand and entwined their fingers, their faces holding matching smiles. "We're pregnant!" She burst with excitement and everyone's mouths dropped. "We're going to have a baby!"

Bella was the first to recover, erasing the grimace off of her face with a full on smile. She threw her arms around her best friend and gently crushed herself to her, whispering soft things into her ear. I made my way and hugged Emmett, patting his back and grinning.

"A dad, huh?"

"I can't believe it." He breathed in awe. The mental image of a little toddler running ramped through their home with loud giggles while Emmett's tall and uncoordinated, burly, frame chased after him.

"That's something we should all be scared about." Everyone laughed and gave their congratulations to the parents to be.

"I also wanted to ask something." Rose interrupted the buzzing of happy whispers. "If Bella would agree to be the godmother of my child?" Bella's mouth dropped to the floor making Rosalie giggle like a madwoman.

"I—Oh my god, yes!" She exclaimed and once again hugged her tightly. "I would be _honored._ "

"And Edward I don't even have to ask you." Emmett shrugged off with a playful grin.

"This calls for champagne!" Esme clapped happily with a dimple in her right cheek. "And sparkling cider for the mommy-to-be." If it were possible, Rose was already glowing like the sun itself. She seemed positively ecstatic with the news and her hand seemed to constantly find its way to her tummy.

I turned my eyes and saw Bella had turned back to her original state. Rose's news brightened her attitude for a while but it seemed she reverted back to a state of depression. Worry was starting to consume me. Her eyes were glued to the plate of food in front of her without blinking. She rubbed her fingers together, mindlessly, before she grabbed the fork roughly and started scarfing the food down her throat with a quickness that had me and Carlisle looking at her in concern. The food was disappearing right before our eyes in seconds. It didn't even look like she was breathing but the process looked painful and her eyes looked like she would tear any second.

"Bella," Alice whispered harshly to her cousin, a frown marring her face. She was ignored and in an incredible five minutes, Bella's plate was completely spotless. She crossed her fork and knife over the plate and avoided any direct eye contact with anyone.

"Bella?" I questioned softly and saw her chest started heaving heavily. Her hand flew to her mouth sharply and she quickly slid the chair back, with a loud screeching sound that made Rose and Esme jump, running towards the bathroom up the stairs.

I threw my napkin on top of the table, screeching my own chair back and rushed after her, but somehow Alice beat me to it. She cut in front of me and slammed the door in my face, the lock the only sound heard before the running water. Carlisle was behind me with worry written all over his face and as the minutes passed, I was starting to get impatient.

I knocked on the door twice but was bluntly ignored. I slammed my fist once more and heard the water shut off. I growled in irritation at their lack of response but felt Carlisle's calming hand on my shoulder.

"A moment, Edward." The door unlocked, revealing Alice who wore a somber face. She stepped to the side to let Carlisle inside, but blocked my entrance with her petite frame.

"You can't block me from my own bathroom." I barked angrily at all the fucking obstacles that appeared whenever I tried to fucking do something. She snorted in response, crossing her arms.

"'Mine, mine, mine.' Is that all you care about?" Her question caught me off guard and made me hesitate. She raised an eyebrow at me but had a no-bullshit facial expression.

"What's wrong with Bella?" I tried another technique since brute force was not getting me anywhere and neither was yelling. Alice was keeping her cool fine while I was losing mine. She grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled me away from the bathroom without a struggle. "What the hell?" She put a finger to her lip to quiet me down.

"She's throwing up." I frowned but didn't expect anything else. She was eating too much way too fast, it would be a surprise if she didn't. She was scarfing everything down as if she would never eat again.

"Why?" Alice studied me for a second, trying to find something, but unfortunately for her I didn't plan on being an observational experiment today. I ground my jaw.

"Bella's bulimic." I felt a wave of cold water splash on my face and my jaw unlocked itself.

"Excuse me?" My voice was incredulous even to my own ears. "She fucking throws up her food?" Alice put up two hands and glanced behind me to check if anyone was coming.

"Let me reiterate." She backtracked. "Bella hasn't done it in a long time. It's triggered when she is overwhelmed."

"That's not any fucking better." I snapped harshly and she cracked her neck.

"I don't have better news for you." The door of the bathroom opened and out walked Carlisle with his lips in a straight line, staring at the floor. He caught eyes with Alice and a silent message passed through them. "I'm going to reassure everyone she's okay." She descended downstairs to the hushed whispers to explain everything.

"She'll be fine. It was just the food." He lied, wiping the back of his hand against his forehead. I narrowed my eyes. "She'll join us shortly. Why don't we go downstairs?" I glanced behind him through the small crack opening of the door and saw Bella on the floor with her knees pulled up into her chest and her head laid gently on top of her knees. Relenting, I nodded and turned away from the door that separated Bella from us to head back downstairs.

Rosalie was biting the tip of her finger while holding onto a flute of sparkling cider in her other hand. She saw me and excused herself from Alice to make her way over to me, her brows furrowed closely together.

"How is she?" She glanced at Carlisle and he nodded.

"She's going to be fine." She relaxed only slightly. I'm sure Alice told her that she was okay but Rosalie was never one to believe simple hear-say unless it was by a professional. She trusted Carlisle's verdict since he's a doctor. Bella's presence was felt and we all turned towards the stairs where she came down with one hand through her hair and the other on the railing.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Emmett asked, stepping forward and offering her his large hand. She gave him a small smile and took his hand to walk down the rest of the steps.

"Yes. I'm sorry for ruining dinner." She looked at everyone with guilt and Esme shook her head.

"Don't apologize, darling. We can finish now." Bella rubbed her lips and my jaw ticked as I watched her carefully. We sat down like before and resumed dinner, the aura a little tighter than before. Bella remained quiet and still with her empty plate in front of her.

After dinner everyone sat around the large table and exchanged conversations. The mood lifted for everyone except Bella, me and Alice. Alice was ignoring her cousin but her expression was still weary and I kept my eyes glued to her even while I spoke. Bella glanced at her phone to look at the time and bit her lip.

"Let me help you, Esme." Rosalie offered, standing up and heading with Esme and Alice to the kitchen. Carlisle's phone rang and he excused himself while Emmett made his way to the bathroom after patting his stomach.

I reached to the table behind me where Esme placed the fruit arrangement she ordered. Picking a brilliant green apple, I presented it to Bella who stared at it bewildered.

"No thank you." She excused herself, standing from her seat as I followed.

"If you eat it do you think you'll purge it?" She froze mid step and whipped around to face me with her golden eyes wide.

"What?" Her voice wasn't vicious as it usually was but filled with shock. I took notice that since she came out of the bathroom she looked deathly pale with glassy eyes and had unusual pale lips.

"Bulimic? That's what you are?" Her lips parted in surprise.

"What? No. I'm not—"

"Your cousin sold you out so save it." I snapped, twirling the green apple in my hand, appreciating it from each angle. Bella seemed speechless at the moment, giving way to an awkward silence. She took a deep, unsteady, breath and placed a hand over her flat stomach.

"I'm not bulimic." She murmured.

"I'm positive I caught whiff of vomit in the bathroom." The smell was faint, since the door was mostly closed, but the little bit I got was distinct and putrid. "So what are you?" Our voices were whispers the entire time so no one would over hear our conversation. Silverware clanked together from the kitchen, along with the sound of kitchen drawers opening and closing. Bella's eyes were scanning the area frantically to make sure no one was coming in. I grabbed her hand with my empty one and took her upstairs with me into the bedroom that she slept in last night.

"This has nothing to do with you." She clipped, snatching her wrist back.

"So you mean to tell me that you eating so harshly and rushing to the bathroom shouldn't worry me?" Her lips released their grimace. "You worried everyone downstairs with your little stint and I'm tired of playing the patient ever begging man when it comes to knowing a little bit about you." My movements were very calculated so that she still had personal space. "I was always there for you when you needed it and that hasn't changed now. I can understand that you hate me and I can respect that you want to kill me, but I can't comprehend your problem."

"I'm not some sort of diseased woman so stop treating me like that."

"Maybe if you opened your mouth and actually said something rather than curse me out I wouldn't assume the worst."

"I'm not bulimic that's all you need to know." I brought the apple upstairs with me and now raised it up in the space between us.

"Sure looks like what Alice said might add up. You ate and ran to the bathroom to throw up." I cocked my head to the side and saw her hands fist into tight balls.

"Alice over exaggerates everything. It's the very core of her nature." She rubbed her arms up and down.

"For her to over exaggerate there has to be some substance of truth. So." I sat on the edge of the bed, carefully tossing the apple in the air and catching it. "How'd it start?" There was a long silence, the only sound heard was the padding of my hand against the apple.

"I moved to New York after my dad's Arizona plan failed." I stopped the tossing it when she started and held the apple in my hands. "When I got to school that world was different. New York was different." She turned and sighed. "Forks is a small town where everyone knows everyone and nothing is a secret. In New York you're a small fish in a big pond and it's hard to keep up. I used that to my advantage to sneak out and since Charlie wasn't the Chief I had nothing to fear.

"Anyways, school was hard since I was new and it made it hard to make friends, not that that was any different than being here." She shook her head. "You hear girls obsess over themselves a lot more over there and then so did I. I started cutting back on my food and lost substantial weight." She threw her head back. "When…my mother…died—" She took a shaky breath before continuing. "Feelings overtook my body and it…happened."

"For how long?" My voice was rough and she heard it.

"I don't know. I don't have exact dates. A few months until Alice caught me doing it."

"Alice said overwhelming emotions triggered it. What's wrong?" Her spine straightened.

"Stress. It's personal."

"That doesn't mean hash it out on your body." I stood up and walked towards the window, cracking it open and letting some air freshen up the room.

"When I did it, I was in a really unstable place." She tucked a stray tress behind her ear. "I partied every night, Edward. I drank myself away into oblivion and made my parents life a living hell in a form of revenge because they barred me from every single experience here. I didn't just decide to one day stick my finger down my throat for shits and giggles." Imagining a wild Bella was nearly impossible. She was conservative and pure in all of its forms. She was the balance to my form. "I didn't get to say goodbye to my mother. Can you imagine one day not being able to say goodbye to someone you cared about?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Although, not on the same level and I can't compare myself to what you probably went through with your mom. I felt it in the pit of my stomach when you left and never said anything to me." She swallowed and looked away. "The feeling of emptiness in my stomach was a feeling I felt for years and no one understood me. I was being _melodramatic._ " I rolled my eyes at the stupid word people used for me.

"Things happen for a reason, Edward." Her phone vibrated and she jolted, swiping it out of her pocket and glancing at the notification. She frowned and stuffed it in her pocket, stopping in front of me. "Thank you for listening to me."

"That's the one thing you won't ever have to thank me for." She studied me for a second and swiped the apple from my hand to take a bite from it.

"Bye." She chewed and hurriedly exited the room.


	11. Chapter 10

This chapter is in the third person perspective. I hope you enjoy! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

Renee laid on her bed on the late Saturday night, quietly thinking about her life now. All her choices, mistakes and actions. The sound of her small door creaking open snapped her out of it and caught her attention. In the doorway stood her eighteen year old daughter.

"I'm going." Bella said so her mother wouldn't be shocked when she didn't find her in bed and would decide to call the police. It happened once before a few months ago and the aftermath, when she came back, was not pretty. Bella didn't want her to have a heart attack so she tried her hardest to appease her. Renee clasped her hands on top of her lap which was covered by the dull, grey, sheets.

"When will you be back?" She scanned her eyes over her daughter's provocative outfit with a frown on her brow. She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that looked like they had been painted on her daughter's legs. Her shirt showed what breasts she had and her belly button. On her feet were what Renee would call hooker shoes because they were cheap, platform, heels. She picked up dressing like that the moment she started partying too much and Renee couldn't stop her. It was her rebellion towards her parents that restricted her every moment. Bella shifted her weight onto her other foot and shrugged, not surprising Renee. Bella never gave straight forward answers or made things easy—especially since Charlie's departure.

"I'm not sure. I'm sure I'll be here in the morning before you wake." She walked over to her mother and placed a kiss on her temple with a small smile. "I love you, bye." Bella learned to never leave without saying those words once Charlie left them and she saw how devastated her mother was. It made her realize that those you care for disappear like magic. Renee loved when she heard her say them and although she didn't listen to her mother often, she did care for her.

She walked away with the heavy clicking of her heels out the door, leaving Renee to stare after her. She sighed and reached into her night stand drawer beside the bed and pulled out a stack of pictures that were wrapped with a rubber band. Carefully removing it and tossing it to the side, she started sifting through them, rehashing memories of Charlie when they were younger to not too long ago.

She ran her fingers over his young face—his curls a dark mane on top of his head that matched Bella's. His eyes were the dark, lovely, chocolate color she loved so much that displayed the emotions he had trouble conveying verbally and in the picture he had that smile that was reserved only for her and Bella. His arm was slung around her making the picture look perfect.

Remembering where she was, she quickly put that to the side and let the pain in her chest die down. The next picture made her smile wider than the last one. It was a picture of Bella sitting on her bed with her makeup bag contents strewn around her as she held a lipstick in her hand. Renee remembered that day like if it were yesterday.

 _She left Charlie in the kitchen, cleaning his pistol like he always did out of custom, and went to check on Bella who was too quiet. When Bella was too quiet that usually meant she was off doing something that got her in trouble. Renee and Charlie both caught her hiding their wedding bands in flower pots, hiding in the closet to scare them and knocking over ornaments from table tops. Renee reached the upstairs and heard a distinct humming. She stilled for a moment before she continued, pushing her bedroom door open only to start giggling quietly with delight._

 _Bella sat on the bed singing gibberish to herself with a blush compact in her hand, painting her cheeks a bright pink color to match the electric blue eyeshadow on her eyes. Renee stood by the doorframe watching her child have the time of her life as she chose the next item to slather on._

 _Curious as to what was taking Renee so long, Charlie set his pistol on the highest shelf, out of Bella's reach, and followed his wife up the stairs. He was met with her back as she stood underneath the doorframe without moving, stringing a wave of panic within him. Renee heard his footsteps and put a finger to her lips to hush him, slowing his movements. She waved at him and pointed to Bella who was oblivious to their observation, singing along to her own little song. Charlie grinned and reached over to their vanity to grab the camera Renee left lying around and handed it to her at the same time Bella reached for a bright red lipstick that Renee forgot she ever owned._

 _"Bella, baby." She called and Bella stopped her motion midair, hearing her mother's voice and gave Renee the perfect moment to snap the photo. Noticing that her parents weren't mad, Bella gave them a toothy grin and continued applying the red lipstick over her natural lip line into a mess._

 _Charlie watched his four year old daughter paint her lips with amusement. He put his arms around his wife's waist, pressing a kiss to her cheek and stared lovingly at the gift he was blessed with._

 _"Esme's going to die when she sees this." Renee referred to the picture and Charlie nodded. "At least she knows where the basics go." Renee reasoned with a giggle when she looked up at her daughter, making Charlie laugh._

 _"I would say she definitely takes after you."_

Renee had her eyes brimming with tears the more she stared at the picture. She brought it up and pressed her kiss against her daughter. She always knew Bella liked to dress up and play. She'd seen her wearing her heels around the house since the age of six when they started to disappear from her closet. She thought of nothing better than her daughter expressing her true self and had no idea that Charlie would one day turn against anything that let their daughter bloom in a psychotic idea to protect her. He wanted to keep her in a bubble and Renee let him at first.

Putting the picture to the side she glanced at the clock and frowned. She had taken her sleeping pills over thirty minutes ago and she was still not tired. She had to be up early in the morning to work so she'd have to take a few more in hopes that it'd work.

She despised the dark so she reached for the remote and put the TV to Full House. The volume was dropped so it was a soft buzzing in the background. She shook the bottle until three more capsules came out and popped them into her mouth. She drank a sip of water to allow them to slide down her throat, but it wasn't enough for pills that size.

She remembered Esme called earlier and put a reminder to call her back tomorrow. She and Bella kept in touch with Esme sporadically but Bella adamantly refused to speak to Edward. She had finally confided in her mother seven months ago what had happened back in Forks and although she supported Bella, she believed that her and Edward had a terrible misunderstanding that led to the fallout. She hoped that one day they'd fix it if they ever reunited but she also hoped for Bella to be a strong woman, who would never let him boss her around.

She sighed, settling into her bed, her head deep into the pillow as the lights of the TV reflected off the windows and bedroom walls. She slowly closed her eyes to help the pills work and sent out a little prayer for her daughter. Her last thoughts were concerning Bella and her safety.

* * *

Bella was swaying her hips away after being twirled by a new guy she met an hour ago. She held up a red cup filled with alcohol in her hand and let the guy nibble on her neck, setting a response of desire through her core. She bit her lip and leaned closer to him. Her original goal was not to get drunk but three cups of liquor later, she was giggly and flirting with the first boy to catch her eye. He was a different guy than the guy she was with now. He flirted with her, danced with her, and even kissed her with a rough desire that almost led them to the bathroom. Unfortunately for him, his girlfriend, Grace, called and Bella found out, setting her off and kicking him to the curb. Bella could be whatever society thought of her, but not a side-woman. Sooner enough she found this new guy who was seeing her as a woman he wanted to fuck.

A classmate of hers, Zafrina, was watching her with dark, hawk, eyes. She didn't want anyone taking advantage of anyone and certainly not in her house. About seventy percent of people had already left due to the time but now, at five in the morning, she needed to kick out the other thirty percent. She made her way to the dark brunette who was sucking lips with the guy who she recognized as Marcus. She realized that Bella had way too much to drink and was wavering in the purgatory between being drunk and trashed. She tapped her shoulder and Bella disconnected her lips from Marcus, who growled, showing off a giant, drunk, smile.

"Zafrina! Tonight is fucking incredible." She slurred with glassy eyes and ran a hand through her hair, exposing more neck to Marcus.

"Bella the night's over. You need to go home." Zafrina turned her dark eyes to Marcus. "You too, Marcus. Out." Bella wasn't aware of the sun rays peeking through the clouds. She took out her outdated phone and blinked repeatedly to try and get a sharp view of the time.

"Shit." She wobbled stepping away from Marcus. Zafrina shot her arm out and helped her steady. She was a tall, built, athlete and often scared other women with her strength. "I have to go."

"I'll take you home." Marcus volunteered with all intents of taking her to his apartment. Zafrina snorted.

"Like fuck you are." She growled knowing that he wasn't the purest of people around. "You've had too much to drink as well." She shook her head before turning to Bella while Marcus glared at her, mentally cursing her interference. "Not on your own." She pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. "I'm calling you a cab and seeing you get your drunk ass in it." She turned to Marcus. "You too, Casanova." Bella pouted but agreed. She told Renee she'd be home before she woke but at this rate that wouldn't be happening.

Zafrina safely managed to see her friend in the cab and gave the driver the address. Thirty minutes later, the driver pulled up and Bella stumbled her way up the stairs with a thankful wave. She took deep breaths in an attempt to be sober before she walked in and saw Renee. She opened the door but wasn't hit with the smell of black coffee that could wake the living. It was Renee's tradition whenever she worked the morning shifts.

 _'She probably overslept.'_ Bella thought, walking to her mom's room that was right beside hers and knocked twice. When she got no response, she simply opened the door, using the knob to steady herself. On the bed was Renee lying peacefully with her pictures strewn around her and the TV still on from the night before. Bella turned it off and walked over to the edge and sat down in a rather unladylike manner.

"Mom, it's time to wake up." She murmured softly so she wouldn't frighten her. Renee didn't stir and Bella caught glimpse of the sleeping pills beside her and groaned. She hated when her mom took them because it became nearly impossible to wake her up the next morning. Bella put a hand on her shoulder and gently shook her.

"Mom, its morning. You're going to be late for work." She was starting to get annoyed and released heavy breaths and started tapping her foot impatiently. The alcohol in her stomach sloshed inside her, making her feel uncomfortable. She was starting to feel her own tiredness set in from her all night partying and just wanted to wake Renee up so she could crawl into bed.

"Mom." Bella snapped, but she got no response. Bella let out a small noise of frustration and shook her head. Her eyes caught onto something odd she hadn't noticed before—Renee's chest wasn't moving. She frowned and suspended her fingers underneath her mother's nose to feel the air from her breathing. Nothing. Bella's heart sped up to a pounding rhythm that sounded like drums were in her room. Her hands suddenly felt cold and tingly. She sat straight, turning her body towards her mother and put two fingers where her mother's pulse point should be on her neck, a trick that Carlisle showed her years ago.

She felt no beating, no sign of life, no drumming of her mother's heart beneath her fingers. Her blood drained off of her face, her brain suddenly fully attentive. Any trace of liquor completely gone from her body.

"Mom." Bella whispered with disbelief. Her throat closed up and her eyes stung with fire as tears filled her eyes. "Mom!" She shouted in hopes that Renee would wake up with a scowl and start yelling at her for waking her up so rudely. "No…" She shook her head like a mad woman, the tears breaking free. "Mama!" She lunged herself on top of her mother's still, cold, corpse and fisted her hands on her nightgown, shaking her. "No mama!" She screeched, the tears falling to the base of her mother's neck and collecting into a puddle. Her heart plundered and an indescribable ache spread throughout her body. Her mind was frazzled and all it kept repeating was to never let go of Renee. "You can't leave me, mama, you can't! Wake up, please." She croaked.

"I'll change, I promise. I'll be a good person, a good daughter." She sobbed, crushing the material of her mother's shirt in her hands. "I won't party. I'll stop being this horrible person. I won't leave you, I promise." Bella could barely see through her clouded eyes. "Please wake up. Don't leave me too." The pain in her heart felt as though somebody was squeezing it in their hand. She could hardly breathe and at this moment she didn't want to. The pain was indescribable as the salty tears poured down her cheeks and a knot formed in her throat that caused her physical pain.

Renee's spirit was wilting away in the room. Any trace of the beautiful woman gone. She loved her daughter more than her life and in another world she'd always protect her.

The wailing cries of a broken young eighteen year old girl echoed through the walls of the small apartment that housed them. A girl who lost all reason to live was now repenting for everything she ever did, but it was too late. Renee was gone and not by an act of purposeful suicide but rather an accidental overdose.

Bella ran to the phone, slipping and tumbling against the floor in the process. She dialed 911 with fumbling fingers and told them what happened. As soon as she hung up, she crawled back to her mother's limp body and clutched her hand until her knuckles turned paper-white. She thought that if she held tight enough, Renee would never leave her side.

The ambulance arrived fifteen minutes later, barging through the front door when no one answered, and saw the body on the bed. Their eyes followed the small lump that was curled up beside her with knotted dark locks and black smudged makeup. Her face was red with all the blood rushing to her face and she kept rocking back and forth, never releasing her hold on Renee. They knew before walking over that she was long gone but they felt sympathetic for the daughter who looked as though she had lost all in her life.

"Miss. Swan?" Called the middle-aged doctor and Bella instantly shot up and made her way to him with black mascara tracks down her face. He noticed her eyes were a stinging red with all the tears she shed and felt sorry for the young girl. He placed a hand on her shoulder and licked his lips, the glimmer of hope in her eyes still strong. "I'm sorry, Miss. Swan." Bella's face morphed before his eyes before he could get any more words out. "There wasn't anything left to do when she arrived."

"No!" She screamed, shaking him off and alerting the other people around her. "You're a doctor you can help her!"

 _'Carlisle could've helped her.'_ She thought bitterly. _'He could've saved my mom.'_

"She overdosed and must've passed overnight." He saw her eyes brim with fresh tears as her body convulsed under such harsh emotions. Her face was pink and her nose was a bright red. Her lips were dried and cracked from all the salt-water that fell on them. "I'm so sorry. Why don't you call a family member?" He led her to where the phone was, nodding at the nurse behind the desk to silently tell her that she had his permission to use this phone. The nurse took the hint and departed the desk, with a file against her chest, giving them a sense of privacy.

Bella grabbed the phone, putting it to her ear and started dialing a number she knew all too well, even after all this time, before reality hit her.

 _'Edward.'_ His face popped into her mind with that cocky, crooked, grin that surrounded his cigarette and his ruffled hair. She longed to call him and hear his voice that would tell her everything was alright. She longed to feel his toned arms wrap around her little frame like a cocoon of warmth and safety. She swallowed the lump in her throat and hung up the phone before redialing with shaky fingers and ragged breaths.

"Hello?" Came the high-pitched, tired, voice making her throat close up. The doctor watched her carefully, hoping that she could make it through this phone call. Although, by the trembling of her lips, it seemed like a difficult task to see through.

"Alice." Her voice broke into an unrecognizable tone that had Alice confused on the other side. Not only did the high shrilling of her phone wake her up before eight, but the voice sounded unfamiliar and as if it were in agony.

"This is she. Who am I speaking to?"

"It's Bella."

"Bella? What's wrong?" She didn't recognize the number and with her cousin's voice she worried. It sounded as if she were crying.

"Alice, mom—" She broke down crying, unable to finish her sentence due to a fresh batch of nausea and tears taking over her. She shook her head, passing the phone to the doctor who spoke to Alice in her behalf while the young girl broke down in front of his eyes.

* * *

About an hour later, Bella was forced to go home where Alice would meet her. She sat in her mother's bed in a state of lucid dreaming. She dreamed her mother would walk through that door and that this was all wrong. She prayed she'd wake up in some guy's strange apartment, on his bed, naked, to find out this was all a nightmare. She'd trade anything for this not to be real.

On the nightstand, next to her bed, Bella noticed a notepad. She leaned over and read the words 'call Esme' in her mother's bubbly print letters. Renee always hated writing in script, saying it was the opposite of calligraphy and that she herself could barely read her chicken scratch, let alone anyone else. Remembering her mother's best friend, she fished out her cell phone and dialed the number that she had programmed into her new phone. On the second ring, she answered in her usual cheerful self.

"Bella, my darling!" She chirped. "How are you? I'm so glad you've called me." Esme was currently cleaning up the breakfast dishes that Carlisle, Emmett and Edward left as they made their way out. She was glad Edward was out so early in the morning or she wouldn't be able to talk so freely. Her son's attitude had taken a turn for the worst and any time he heard the name Bella he went into a fit of anger and depression.

"Esme." Bella sniffled, the tears refusing to fall at this point. They reached their limit. She was all cried out for the moment and instead was in a state of numbness where she couldn't feel anything. She assumed this is what being on drugs was like. "I—I have some bad news." Esme frowned, balancing her phone between her phone and shoulder, pushing back her loose hair as she reached for a towel, to dry her hands.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" She was concerned over Bella's well-being. Renee had confided in her a few weeks ago about Bella's switched behavior, without delving into too much detail.

"I can't do this." Bella murmured to herself, heaving. The sudden gush of pain came back, tingling every nerve in her body, replacing the numbness that she was originally thankful for.

"Bella!" Esme panicked, imagining the worst. She was already thinking of calling her travel agent to book her the first flight to New York.

"Mom's dead. She overdosed on pills." Bella's anxiety was getting to her and she started shaking so she hung up and didn't let Esme say anything in response. She grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills that taunted her like the murderous shit it was and she flung it across the room with a yell of anguish.

* * *

Alice walked in with a bowl of soup in her hands and her father behind her. He stared at his niece with such sadness as she laid strewn on her mother's bed, clinging to her pillow like a zombie. Aro never agreed with Charlie's decision to leave his family behind because he couldn't handle it. He knew Renee since Charlie first saw her in high school. His brother brought her home and Aro instantly liked her. She was beautiful, smart, quirky and genuine. He also loved his niece, he'd seen her since she was born and instantly loved her. She and Alice played whenever they saw each other and Aro was always taking them out around the town. It pained him to see her like this.

"Bella, you have to eat." Alice tried again, sitting on the edge of the bed. Bella shook her head and snuggled closer to the pillow. The action was truly the only sign that told them that she was still alive, because even her breathing was too subtle to notice. Alice sighed and looked to her father who looked as lost as she did.

"Honey, you need to eat." Aro added stepping forward.

"It's been two days, Bella. You haven't touched food."

"I don't want." Bella whispered.

"Just eat this soup." Bella knew they weren't going to leave her alone so she sat up in a wobbly state and reached for the plate, stuffing spoons of what she thought was water down her mouth. There was silence except for the clattering of the bowl with the spoon. When Bella emptied the bowl, her stomach warmed up in appreciation and she passed it back to Alice who looked relieved. "Thank you."

"We'll let you rest." Aro hinted at Alice with a stern look in his eye that told her there was no objection. Alice didn't want to leave Bella alone but reluctantly left with Aro out the door. It was silent in the room, completely silent and it wasn't comforting. The silence was Bella's enemy lately. It brought terrible thoughts to her mind and gave way to memories that flashed through her head. She felt the anxiety build up in her chest as she pressed a hand hard against it to try and make it stop. It was futile.

Bella didn't know how to handle this form of pain. She barely made it with what happened to her with Edward and Forks and then her father abandoning them. And now her mother? She needed some sort of relief. Her stomach was full but her brain registered it as slushy liquid in her system. Bella got up and walked to the bathroom, her hands jittery. She kneeled on the cold tiled floor over the porcelain bowl, welcoming the bite of frigidness on her knees, and took a breath before taking her index finger and sticking it down her throat.

Her body reacted, gagging out and convulsing, as it tried to disperse the contents in her stomach. Bella closed her eyes, gripping her hands around the bowl and pushed her finger further down. She purged out the soup that she just drank, spilling it into the toilet as she cried. Her face was burning from throwing up and her stomach was empty. She flushed the contents and sat on the floor, taking deep breaths to regulate herself. Her brain thanked her for the form of relief and for the moment, everything seemed normal—like it would be alright.


	12. Chapter 11

Hey guys, I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Christmas. There has been a small misunderstanding with my last chapter I posted. That chapter was written in third perspective which means it was a **flashback**. It was wedged between the recent time period and the past. It explains how Bella turned to purging to feel some sort of relief and it depicts how Renee died and how Bella felt rather than just mentioning it.

There is more to Bella leaving Forks than just Edward. It was different factors, including that Charlie lost his job and he decided to relocate somewhere else for a new future. Of course, as Bella said, that move didn't work out for them and in the last chapter it explained how it actually led to the beginning of her downfall.

Once again, if a chapter is in **italics** or **third perspective** then it's a **flashback** that relates to the situation or the story.

Last week's chapter was of course a little darker due to the topics but hopefully this week it's lighter!

Happy Early New Years guys and stay safe! Until the next chapter.

Ness

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

Bella hadn't come around the house for a few days which had Esme a little unnerved. I would think it was about me except she didn't leave yelling at me the other day.

"Hey." I heard the snapping of fingers and tuned out of my thoughts to see it was Jasper with his sandwich suspended in the air. He looked at me funkily but I shook my head, proceeding to pull out a cigarette from my pocket and pluck it between my lips. My day at work had just finished, as did Jasper's, so we decided to get a small dinner. The only downside to that is that he invited his girlfriend. She sat next to him with a bitch face and toyed with her salad. "Get out of la la land."

I lit the cigarette and inhaled the toxic smoke. I gave him a look and blew out the chemicals from my body. I flickered my eyes to the little blonde girl behind him, discreetly, and he shrugged. I guess they weren't on good terms. As if on cue, Jane got up and covered her salad with the plastic top.

"I'm going to my sister's, Jasper." She threw me a look and I grinned.

"How are you getting there?"

"She's picking me up." She bent down and pecked his lips quickly. "I'll call you later." She stood straight, giving me a disgusted look. It's safe to say, she doesn't like me and when she found out I slept with her sister on multiple occasions, she hated me more.

"Give Heidi my greetings." I said with a smirk, bringing the cigarette to my mouth. She scowled and whipped around violently without a single word. When she was out of sight, Jasper let out a chuckle as he finished his sandwich. "She's a keeper." I drawled and he gave me a look. "In the garage. Under lock and key."

"She wasn't always so…sour." He sighed and I shrugged, tapping off the ashes from the tip of the cigarette.

"I can't say, considering I never met her, but I'll take your word for it." Someone can't be all that bad if you've spend so much time with them. "Want to come with me somewhere?" He raised an eyebrow and slowed his chewing.

"Where?"

"A friend's house."

"You have other friends?" My reputation proceeds me. I rolled my eyes.

"Surprisingly. Is that a yes or no?" He wiped at his mouth and drank a gulp of his coke. He shrugged and took another bite.

"Sure. I have nothing better to do."

"Excellent." He finished up and we got into my car, driving in the opposite direction of my house. The roads were so familiar yet so strange, considering I hadn't been to this specific address in so long.

"If I may ask, what friend are you going to see?"

"You met her." I responded without looking at him. "Bella." I could picture his eyes twinkling at her name.

"Ah." I made a sharp left and drove down the road. We passed the sheriff's office where Bella's dad used to work. The air was brisk and the clouds were gray above us. Within fifteen minutes, I arrived at the curb of the house I visited too often.

Its design was exactly the same, but it had aged. It wasn't taken care of properly so the shillings looked old and the bushes were dying. Towards the side of the house was the rose ladder that I used to climb into Bella's room, or rather what's left of it. It decayed without Renee's proper care and in turn wilted the wooden ladder. Jasper took in his surrounds without a word as I made my way up to the front porch to ring the doorbell. I heard loud and quick footsteps coming towards us and then the door opened, revealing a surprised Alice.

She had on a pair of black pants and an oversized sweater. Her hair was still in its usual array and her face had very minimal makeup. She was barefoot and therefore shorter than usual. I had to bend my head to an extreme angle to get a look at her. Her eyes were wide with surprise and her mouth formed an 'O'.

"Hi Alice." I said. It took her a moment to react but when she did, she quickly checked behind her and proceeded to close the door, as she stepped onto the front porch.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I didn't miss the edge of her voice or the tightening of her jaw.

"I came to see Bella." I answered like it should've been obvious. She bit her lip and sighed.

"She's busy. She can't come." Her eyes flickered to the man beside me and she blinked, tilting her head slightly. I glanced at him and saw that his eyes were trained on the little woman in front of me. He threw her a smile and she looked away, back at me.

"I'm sure she can afford a second."

"Edward—" The door opened and Bella's voice flooded my ears.

"Alice, is he here ye—" Her words cut off midsentence when she saw me and I saw a flash of panic in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" She asked defensively.

"My mom's worried since you haven't visited."

"I've been busy."

"If you don't mind me asking, doing what? It's not as if you work." Her eyes narrowed and her lips became straight.

"I do mind you asking." She barked back. "None of your concern." A car pulled up and we all turned to see who it was.

"Garrett?" Jasper questioned with confusion in his voice. Garrett was my dad's employee who interned along with Jasper. Garrett looked up at him with recognition and smiled.

"Jasper." He acknowledged as he walked over and then turned to me. "Edward."

"Garrett." I nodded and I saw Bella and Alice throw each other looks.

"What are you doing here? Carlisle let you go early?" He opened to say something when a voice behind us cut in.

"He's here to take me out for the night." I snapped around and saw Bella's impassive face.

"What?"

"That's who we were waiting on." Alice added. "I thought it was him when we opened the door." My head turned back to Garrett who seemed as cool as a cucumber. Garrett? My dad's employee was dating Bella? The thought was repulsive and had my chest heating up.

"I told you, I was busy." Bella admitted in a small voice, her eyes falling to the floor and her hand combing through her hair.

"I can see." I gritted out. "Since you're _busy_ I'll leave you to it." I took a step down and started walking to my car.

"Tell Esme I'll see her tomorrow."

"Or you can tell her yourself." I answered over my shoulder as I made my way into the driver's seat. Jasper closed the door and shuddered.

"What a small world."

"Too fucking small." I put the gear shift into 'Drive' and took off. Jasper questioned me throughout the ride about my attitude, but I thoroughly ignored him. I dropped him off and drove back to my house.

She's too busy because she's going out on a date? Fucking comedy. My knuckles tightened against the wheel to the point where my fingers started to feel cool. I didn't _want_ Bella to date Garrett, the mere thought of them having dinner together was eating me alive. I pulled at my collar, popping the top button open. I pulled into the driveway and slammed the car door shut as I made my way in.

I opened the door and heard Emmett in the kitchen talking to Esme. She peeked out and gave me a smile, gesturing me towards the kitchen.

"How'd work go?"

"Fine." I answered roughly. "I saw Bella."

"Where?"

"I went to her house." Esme stilled for a moment and blinked up at me.

"Her house?"

"Yes." I replied and Emmett threw me a sly look as he drank his water. "She was leaving for a date." I spit at the word. Esme suddenly lightened up and laughed, mixing a bowl of dough together.

"Was she now? That's marvelous!"

"No it's not mom." She stopped mixing and looked at me.

"Edward, you're being unfair. Bella has every right to date who she wants." She explained, placing the bowl on top of the counter and facing me.

"I know."

"Edward's just jealous, aunt Esme." Emmett snorted, shaking his head. "He was too much of a puss to settle down with her when he had her all those years ago and now he's too much of a puss to do anything different now that she doesn't want anything to do with him." I growled and snapped around to look at him dead in the eye.

"Fuck you, Emmett." I seethed. "Everyone wanted me to be ready for marriage all those years ago because I was with her. Well I wasn't okay and I stand by my statement. Things should've played out differently but they didn't, now for fuck's sake, leave me alone." My temper got hold of me as I walked out into the chilly air again, my face tilted towards the sky. I took a deep breath, stuffing my hands in my pockets, and walked down the road so the air could physically cool me off.

Pulling out a cigarette from my suit pocket, I lit it up and smoked it, feeling more in touch with my teenage self than normally. Everything seemed to take a total one eighty since Bella's arrival but then again I was probably doing everything to myself.

 _Isn't this the chance that you wanted? The chance to see her again, to explain to her, and win her back?_ This was that chance, but it seemed that instead of moving forward, I was moving backwards. I rubbed at my eyes and took another drag.

Forks' air was making me feel sticky and wet but it was strangely soothing. The anger was still there but it wasn't ready to explode. Bella would be here tomorrow so I might as well not be in the house. My remarks will be smarmy and obnoxious and it would be safe for me to keep my distance for the time being. I felt like a volatile teenager around Bella again with the way my feelings alter from one end to the other.

I stepped on my second cigarette with my leather shoe and started to walk back to the house. I've been gone for over an hour and a half and I left with such a dramatic exit. Esme is probably wondering if I'm fine since this reminded her of many years ago when Bella first moved away. I would explode and walk off, taking random strolls around the town and punching lots of tree trunks. That usually resulted in bloody knuckles and Carlisle yelling at me.

After another half an hour, I finally made it home and noticed Emmett's car was gone from the driveway. I popped a stick of gum into my mouth to help mask the smell of cigarette since Esme didn't like it when she smelled it on me. She thought it was a nasty habit and it was but it's a habit that's been with me for a long time. Opening the door, I peeled my suit jacket off and laid it strewn across the couch. Plates clattered in the kitchen and I assumed it was Esme who was probably still waiting for me.

"Mom," I called walking through the threshold only to stop halfway.

"Finally you're back." Esme breathed with a smile of relief with Bella beside her. Her golden eyes bore into me with a ferocious intensity. I cut our eye contact and turned back to Esme, nodding.

"Yeah. If you'll excuse me, I need to shower the grime off." I retracted to the upstairs and made my way into the shower, scrubbing the dirt feeling off of my face and hair. I shaved the overnight stubble and wrapped a white towel around my waist as I made my way out to my room. I sat on the foot of the bed and pulled out my phone to scroll through my emails when I heard a knock at my door. I looked up and saw Bella leaned against the door frame. Her eyes lingered and she bit her lip, her cheeks reddening. Unconsciously, I threw her a smirk, acknowledging that I knew she was checking me out.

"Seems I've caught you at a bad time."

"Seems so. Aren't you supposed to be eating dinner with my father's employee?" She threw me a look, pushing off the door frame and walking over to me.

" _Garrett_ and I rescheduled. He understood that I wanted to come see Esme."

"Right." I drawled sarcastically. "Well Esme is downstairs." I jutted my chin towards the door.

"It seems you're still the jealous Edward I've always known." She murmured and I frowned.

"According to you, you know nothing about me and I know nothing about you."

"You don't." She answered with a shrug. "I'm a different person." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh please. You're still the same girl that used to watch Grease just to see John Travolta sing in leather. You still watch Breakfast at Tiffany's when you can't sleep and I bet you ten bucks that your alarm is still Moon River." She shifted uncomfortably and I knew I was right. "I may not know certain things but that's because I wasn't there to know."

"You're still a hothead and a fighter with an irritating attitude." She sighed and I chuckled mirthlessly under my breath.

"Especially where you're concerned."

"I…" She paused for a moment, considering her words, before continuing. "I did miss you." I raised an eyebrow at her small confession, ignoring the way happiness filled in my chest.

"Didn't you hate me?"

"I did." She shrugged. "I hated you with all my heart…" Her voice trailed off with a hint of pain as my eyes were trained on her. "There were times I wanted to call you or Emmett or Rose to tell you of everything that was going wrong. When Renee died, I just wanted to _hear_ you." I stood up when her voice cracked and put my hand on her arm.

"You should've called me." I whispered. "I would've gotten on the first plane I could've and flew anywhere to be with you." She looked at me with glassy eyes. "I called you so many times that night but I kept getting a disabled number. I didn't know how to contact you and I couldn't imagine how much you were suffering."

"Things changed when we went our separate ways."

"When _you_ went your separate way. Don't act as if it was a mutual decision. What happened with Jessica I just want to say that I'm really sorry." Her eyes blinked. "I know I've explained it to you but I want to apologize once more. Nothing excuses that I allowed it to happen to stay in control of a situation that had no control, but I just want us to leave it behind." She stared at me dubiously and I let my hands trail down her arms.

Her hands went to my biceps which were damp and her eyes were clouded with desire. The fact that I was in a towel, semi-naked, didn't help the growing desire I was feeling. Her lack of reaction prompted me to lean down and press my lips against hers. She froze for a second, before tightening her fingers around my skin, tip toeing to get closer to me.

My arms closed around her waist, pulling her flush against my chest and causing her to whimper. It was a deliciously slow sound of want that went straight to my groin. She pressed her stomach against my erection causing a groan of pleasure from me.

"I want you more than anything." I whispered with short breaths. She threw herself on me and I was completely lost at will. She connected her arms behind my neck and kissed me with ardor. My tongue slid through her lips and danced with hers in a sensual rhythm of desire.

My erection was so painful that I was physically restraining myself from becoming a wild savage. She turned us over and I gently lied her on the bed, where her hair fanned out around her in the beautiful image that I imagined for years.

"Are you sure?" I panted and instead of answering she grinded her clothed pelvis against my groin, causing a torturously delicious sensation. "Fuck." I smashed my lips to hers and bumped my hips against hers, causing her to moan out.

Reaching over, I took a condom from my drawer and rolled it on as Bella whipped the towel off of me and stared at me with hungry eyes. It was a look I was unfamiliar with on her face but it was a wash of welcome to me.

"My God." She whispered and I chuckled, leaning down and brushing my lips against hers. She moved her hands to my shoulders as I waited by her entrance and slowly pushed in. Her back arched and my limbs grew weak at the warm, tightness.

Once I was in, I gave her a small moment to adjust before she pressed her legs against my waist, urging me to continue. I was moving, leaning my arms against the mattress and trying to regulate my breathing. Bella's sounds were something I only dreamed of hearing when I was younger and now that I can, they are nothing compared to what I imagined.

I sought her lips, connecting us in more than one way. Her hands cradled my face, holding me tightly as she suddenly moved her hips in conjunction with mine in a steady, firm, rhythm. The action surprised me, considering the women I've been with preferred this position when they didn't want to do any work. My eyes snapped open and our lips disconnected as my hips bucked forward, causing her to bow forward, throwing her head against the mattress, in a sea of light brown hair, and moans.

The muscles in my abdomen were starting to coil and my fingers were squeezing the mattress with the immense pleasure I felt. My head dropped to bury in her neck where I smelt the light spritz of perfume, enticing me more than I already was. She pressed her fingertips into my back which made me groan and thrust with harder pressure. Her nails dug into my back causing a strangled breath to leave my body.

Her legs were wrapped so tightly around my waist and I knew she was close when she started quivering and whimpering. My hands grabbed her waist, tilting her body at an angle so she'd get my movements in a deeper end for more pleasure. She gasped, arching her neck and moaning with more intensity then the beginning.

"Edward, oh!" Her walls clenched around me and her breathing increased rapidly. With one final grind of my hips she cried out, convulsing around me and increasing my own sensation.

"Fuck." I moaned, falling forward as I spilled my own contents. My lips began tackling her neck, kissing and licking the warm skin as the pleasure spread through every inch of my skin like a blanket.

"Edward, Edward." She chanted in ecstasy as she finished riding out her orgasm and I stopped moving when I was completely empty, nibbling with my teeth, as she sighed with relief.

She did arch her neck more to give me more access before I pulled away, kissing the tip of her nose and rolling out of her. Disposing of the condom, I saw that she was lying down with a piece of the sheet strewn across her body, her eyes bright with post coital-bliss.

"Esme's not home." She said breaking the ice and I chuckled, placing my finger on her collar bone and tracing it down with slow precision.

"I know." I replied. "You would never do something so daring with her around." I figured Esme excused herself with some excuse and imagined me and Bella would do something. "I've been wanting that moment since I was fourteen."

"You were attracted to anything with a skirt. You wanted that moment with every girl." I shrugged unashamed, letting my finger dip below the sheet towards her breast.

"I was a hormonal boy." She didn't stop my movements as my fingers found their destination. "But it was something I wanted with you and it was a frustrating process to adapt to." She bit her lip as my fingers toyed and played. "Is this some sort of accordance?" Her eyes opened and she blinked at me, staying quiet for a second. She slowly got up, letting the blanket fall around her, showing off her curves in one amazing sight. The thing that ruined this moment was that she was collecting her clothes and throwing them on.

"I can try to be friends, Edward."

"Some friends we just became." I drawled sarcastically with an eye roll and she crossed her arms across her chest.

"You got what you've always wanted, it should make everything simpler." I stared at her in disbelief before recovering.

"I don't want just to sleep with you." I nearly spat the word. "I thought that was clear. This is why I haven't left you alone since you've returned." She licked her lips.

"And here I thought it was just because you wanted to bother me." I suddenly frowned at the unpleasant feeling that sank in. "What?" She asked aloud and my frown deepened.

"You're the first woman that's left me after sex." Her eyes softened and a small smile tickled the corners of her swollen, red, lips. "And it's actually not something I'm enjoying." She came over to me with her cardigan folded over her arm.

"I want to be able to socialize like normal people. Tell me that you'll give me that because that's all I can offer." Her eyes were molten gold and I was lost in them. Another feeling that was strangely new yet familiar.

"Fine." I grumbled, cracking my neck. "We will be social." But that doesn't mean that I'm going to just let this die here. She smiled and nodded, standing straight.

"Good." She pivoted and turned to walk out the room. "Oh by the way, you look very dapper with a clean face and a dark suit."

"Is that to say you don't like the bad boy in the leather jacket?" She glanced at me over her shoulder and giggled.

"I think I'll always like the bad boy and have a space for him." Her voice was tinged with sadness before she smiled. "But both are presentable." She turned and left the room, leaving me in the middle of my bed, naked and alone. There's a turn of events.


	13. Chapter 12

Happy New Years guys! I hope everyone had a great holiday and stayed warm if you were anywhere chilly or waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square, NY. This is the first chapter of 2016.

I'm glad to anyone who enjoys this story so far and hope you will continue to enjoy it! I'm also glad to see people coming up with their own theories and suggestions as well as expressing their dislikes and likes of some characters personalities during the progression of this story. That's good because it goes to show that the characters are flawed and can't be a hundred percent loved nor hated which is my intent in this story. :)

Hope to hear more feedback and that you like this chapter. I'll see you soon!

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Carlisle got an emergency call around one in the afternoon to his personal cell phone, which was strange. He pecked Esme goodbye and flew out like the wind, popping into his car and screeching away. Jasper called me to do something and I detected in his voice a hint of reminiscing anger.

"You look ready to kill." I commented nonchalantly as we walked down the strip to find a restaurant to pop into. His blonde waves fell from their usual combed-do and his knuckles were taut from the skin pulling so hard.

"Jane." He said simply, explaining it all. It looked like being with the little witch wasn't getting any easier.

"Just dump her already." I shrugged and he rolled his head around his shoulders, cracking it in the process.

"If it isn't Edward Cullen." A feminine voice spoke, causing me to swivel around on instinct. There stood Alice with her signature oversized sunglasses covering her eyes and two large brown bags filled with groceries. She shifted the bags into one arm and removed her glasses, showing clear view of her light crystal eyes.

"Alice, I see grocery shopping is what brings you to this part of town." From the inside of her bag, I saw that carrots, spinach and kale poked out. "Are you trying out a green shake dietary?" It was the new fad every woman was doing. At work, the women exchanged recipes and bragged about how many pounds they'd lost on this diet. Alice's body was already slender and I knew for a fact that she didn't need one. She rolled her eyes at my question.

"Not precisely." Her eyes found Jasper and I noticed he was looking at her too.

"Alice this is my friend Jasper Whitlock." Taking the initiative I spread out for him, he immediately proffered his hand out with a charming smile. "This is Bella's cousin, Alice Swan."

"What a pleasure." His voice had a low drawl to it and I saw her eyes glint with interest. She placed her hand in his and shook it.

"Pleasure is mine."

"Where's Bella?" I craned my neck to check to see if she was going to walk out behind her. She bit her lip and sighed.

"She's home." She glanced at her watch and gasped. "Which is where I should be right now!"

"Do you need any help?" Jasper offered and Alice hesitated before nodding. "Edward, you don't mind that I help Alice, do you?" I raised my hands and shook my head.

"By all means."

"My cars at the end of the block." She jutted her head and they both took off.

"Send Bella my greetings!" She gave me a dismissed wave over her shoulder as she and Jasper talked animatedly. She sure wasn't a shy creature.

Jasper and her hit it off which was good news. I could tell he was really interested in her and who could blame him? Alice was a beautiful girl. It was clear that good looks ran in the Swan gene pool.

"I'm home." I said into the empty space.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Esme's voice carried out to me. When I got to her, I saw she was sitting on a stool, bent over a photo album. I got closer and noticed that she was smiling, pressing fingers along the edge of the page.

"A trip down memory lane?" I questioned, looking at the photos.

"A beautiful trip." She murmured softly and then tapped a finger on top of a photo that held two women. It was a worn photo that had a faded red hue to it and its colors melted into a dull existence. Both women were smiling from ear to ear and sporting high, crimped, hair with lots of volume. "This was me and Renee in the eighties." She startled giggling like a young girl, a sound that was comforting to hear and made me smile. "Oh god, look at our hair!"

I had seen Renee Swan over a million times since I was always with Bella. She was an extremely kind and gentle woman with a bubbly personality. However, seeing her in this photo, she reminded me a lot of Bella—especially her eyes. In the picture, the color was diluted but I knew they were the same strange, hazel, golden shade that Bella inherited. Esme flipped the page to a few naked baby bath pictures making me groan.

"Mom." I grumbled and she giggled, making kissy faces at the baby pictured.

"Look at those adorable little cheeks!" She cooed and I sighed, flipping the picture for her to end this torture.

"Who told moms that seeing naked bath pictures of their kids was cute?" I muttered and she jokingly slapped my shoulder. The next picture was of me and Bella and Esme smiled fondly at it.

"This one is one of my favorites." Her voice was distant. The background was green grass and a picnic basket. "We all took you to the park for Easter and wanted a memory of your first Easter together. You were very young." Me and Bella looked no older than six years old. She wore a pink, flowered, dress with black shoes and a pretty pink bow on top of her head, holding her dark mane back. She held a lollipop and smiled a toothy grin at the camera. I had my hair combed over to one side with a little beige suit on that complimented Bella's and my lips were pressed up against her cheek. "We thought you would make a big deal over us asking for a kiss on the cheek but you did it without a problem. It was a beautiful memory that I captured."

The picture was something that had seemed so trivial that I didn't even remember. However, in the photo it was clear to see how close we were to one another and not just on a friendship level. If you look really close, you can see a very faint pink tinge on Bella's cheeks that went with her cheesy smile. We looked like two little kids that just… _knew._ We knew what it all meant.

The door opened and it startled us. We swiveled around and saw Carlisle walk in soaking wet. His blonde hair was now a dark blonde color as it stuck to his forehead. Beads of water dripped from his nose and he shook some of the water off his body.

"It's raining?" I questioned. When the hell did that start? He nodded and shuddered as Esme rubbed her arms against his. "Is your patient okay?" He was gone for a while so it must've been something serious. He glanced at me and nodded with a small smile.

"Yes." I knew that Carlisle would've liked it if I followed in his footsteps and became a doctor. Truth be told, I wish I had too, but I couldn't deal with it. I wasn't equipped to save lives, I don't think I could and that's what unnerved me. I gave my father the upmost respect towards his career because he was so dedicated and passionate. While patients have died under him, many more have been saved and he has always kept his composure. He was the man I admired most in my life.

"My love, you should go shower. I'll have a cup of warm tea ready for you." Esme shooed him upstairs against his moaning protests. She took his wet clothes and said she was going to put them to wash.

* * *

Bella hadn't stopped by more than three times in the past month. I wasn't sure if it had to do with fact that we slept together or not. She was always on edge and the minute her phone rang, she ran out without a second thought. Esme didn't question her behavior nor did it seem to bother her.

Rose was starting to grow and revealed that she was now fourteen weeks. Her stomach wasn't flat anymore but it was round and protruding. She, however, seemed unfazed by that fact and looked positively glowing. Rose's hair had more shine and her new found rounded cheeks had a jovial look that made her look younger. She was always laughing and spending time with us and she used her pregnancy to make Emmett buy her a pastry every Thursday, saying baby McCarthy demanded it.

She popped the spoon of the Rocky Road ice cream into her mouth as Emmett helped her put on her coat. It was windy outside and Emmett took all the necessary precautions to make sure Rose was in excellent condition. Carlisle walked through the door, his face sullen and tired. He had been out on emergency for a while and always came back with the same expression, which unnerved me. He's never looked so stricken this often.

"Hi Carlisle." Rose's muffled greeting was obscured by the pink, plastic, spoon. He gave her cheek a kiss and shook hands with Emmett. "You look in desperate need of a nap." He blew out some air, puffing his cheeks and wrapped an arm around Esme's waist.

"You have no idea. How's little McCarthy doing?" Her teeth shined brightly at the mention of her little baby. She covered her bump with her hand and smoothed her fingers along its curve in a maternal gesture. She had immediately switched into 'mommy mode' but then again, Rosalie always had a maternal side to her.

"He's good." She didn't know the sex of the baby yet, she was due to find out tomorrow, but she was sure it was a boy. Emmett, however, argued it was a girl and was already dreading her growing up into a beautiful young woman that enchanted all boys like her mother, which meant he had to learn how to become a sharpshooter. Rosalie would let out a pearl of laughter and tell him he was getting ahead of himself. "He's making me want a Hershey's bar." Carlisle laughed, shaking his head.

"He already sounds like Emmett." He joked and Emmett wiggled his eyebrows in return. "Tomorrow's the day, are you excited?" She bobbed her head eagerly, her blonde locks bouncing along with her movements.

"I don't have words to express how excited I am." Emmett's large body wrapped around her, completely covering her. His arm enveloped around her bump, molding to its shape, in a protective manner. Her hand covered his arm, showing off her brilliant engagement ring and delicate silver wedding band that glinted when the dim light bounced off of it.

"It's going to be a special moment, darling." Esme cooed with clasped hands.

"I hope that you tell us my nephew or niece's sex when you find out." Esme suddenly brightened and clapped her hands.

"A revelation dinner."

"Revelation pastries." Rosalie corrected with a knowing smile. "Cupcakes to be exact. It'll give me an excuse to make cupcakes."

"I vote in favor of this idea." Emmett dropped his chin so it was on top of Rose's shoulder. He was probably already salivating at the idea of Rose's cupcakes. She loved to bake and he loved to eat, a match made in heaven.

"So it's settled."

"Carlisle clear your schedule." Rose jokingly chided and he gave a small chuckle.

"Just for you."

"Can we invite Bella and Alice?" At the sound of Bella's name, my body shifted and I licked my lips. I was having _withdrawals_ , if that were even possible. Ever since that night that we had sex, my body's been on edge, wanting more than what I was given—like a drug addict. It was actually hard to concentrate and would physically show. I planned to try again but Bella disappeared whenever I saw her so I never got the chance.

"But of course!" Esme responded. "As godmother of the baby she has every right."

"Great, I'll phone her tonight." Rosalie's phone rang and she sighed, putting it away. "It's my dad. He probably wants to know what I'm doing, I'll call him when we go home." She turned fractionally to look up at Emmett and he nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow guys with a surprise."

"Best of luck." Carlisle smiled and waved as the couple went out into the windy night. He turned to us and I noticed slight bags under his eyes that have remained prominent on his usual even pale skin. "I'm going to warm up dinner for myself."

"I'll do it, honey." Esme smiled up at him, peeling herself from his side and making her way to dig through the refrigerator. Carlisle circled his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hey dad," I said casually and his eyes turned to me.

"Yes?"

"Did you know Garrett and Bella were apparently a _thing?_ " I heard the resentment in my own voice and I didn't miss the look Esme shot me from the refrigerator. It was a warning look but as always, I ignored it. Carlisle had to have some sort of information, considering Garrett was his employee.

Unfortunately, things didn't seem to be in my favor. Carlisle's brows knitted together and his eyes crinkled. He looked genuinely confused which meant that he knew nothing and could fill me in with nothing.

"Garrett and Bella?"

"You didn't know? He visits her house after work." Realization flashed through his features, making them soften.

"Oh," he mused "He had told me there was a certain girl he was seeing but I had no idea that it was Bella. How nice for her." That was the opposite reaction I wanted. My fingers curled and my jaw tightened. Esme came after punching in the numbers on the microwave with her hands on her hips.

"Edward, we spoke about this. Bella has the right to date as she pleases." Her tone was serious as was her expression.

"Well excuse me for not twirling for joy, mom."

"That's not to say that I'm still not silently rooting for you and her." A smile tickled her lips and Carlisle's eyes slid to her with mild surprise. "But that's entirely up to how much you want this and if she's willing to forgive you."

"Forgiveness seems to be the ultimate prize." Carlisle whispered, mostly to himself, with a spaced out look. He snapped back into reality and pressed his lips together. "Your mother's right. You're not fifteen anymore to where your little wishes were granted by her. She has changed, you have changed. Show her that."

My stomach settled uncomfortably at their words because I knew they were spot on. It was unusual to hear my parents giving me a piece of advice for a woman because I usually didn't need one. Yet again, Bella proves to be a different woman than most. The loud pinging of the microwave pulled me from my internal thinking and alerted Esme. Right on cue, Carlisle's stomach growled and she giggled.

Perhaps their advice wasn't off the target. They've been married since my mom was nineteen and my dad was twenty-three years old and just recently celebrated their twenty-forth wedding anniversary. If anything, they were wise in that area.

In my room, it felt as if she were still here. The image of her waiting under my door replayed repeatedly in my mind. I'd love to be tangled in bed with her, talking, laughing and _confessing._ My hands felt all weak just at the thought of…that.

* * *

Everyone got together at my house, buzzing with curiosity at Rosalie who walked in with a large grin and an aluminum tray that probably held the cupcakes. She kept us guessing with an aluminum lid covering the top. Bella was sitting beside me, chatting with Alice, her phone attached to her hand.

"You have any guess?" I asked her and she pursed her lips, thinking deeply.

"I think it's a girl."

"I think it's a boy." I leaned against the couch, watching Rosalie talk with Esme as she gestured motions with her hands. I placed an ankle on top of my knee and smiled. "Can you imagine Emmett with a little girl?" Bella laughed, the sound sounding like bubbles popping. It was a sound I hadn't heard in a while and made me soften. Her laughter hadn't changed, it was still the same unique, feminine, sound I loved when we were younger. I'd sometimes make her laugh just to steal a chance at hearing it but I never told her that.

"He'd have a mini heart failure." She rolled her eyes. "Pink dresses and frills. It'd be his ultimate nightmare."

"And the boys."

"Ah the boys." She shook her head. "Knowing anything of you men, then she'd be safe." Her words were deep and had an underlying message to it. I stared into her eyes, pressing my lips together, and nodded.

"We protect what's ours."

"I thought we discussed this." She argued in a whisper. Esme rounded the corner with the aluminum in her hands and waved us over.

"Come join us for the revelation, you two." I stood up, offering Bella my hand which she took and walked to the table that was filled with everyone. Bella sat beside Rose and I sat beside Alice.

Rosalie stood up, along with Emmett, placing both of their hands over the top and smiled at each other. Their eyes connected, passing along a silent message that was theirs only. It was comical that Rosalie had been in our lives way before they considered dating and when they became a couple, I doubted they would last long. However, here they were nearly ten years later.

There was no better match than those two. I loved Rosalie like family, she had been there through all the bullshit I did and helped Bella. She had also helped me through my times when Bella left. She was the one who would constantly snap me out of a drunken daze, making Emmett haul me over his shoulder, or pull on my ear when she caught me seducing two girls within the same perimeter. They were the perfect balance to one another.

 _"Edward." Rosalie snapped impatiently as she pulled on my ear harshly with a huff. She was hauling me away from Tanya who was pouting. I stumbled at the shift of equilibrium in my body due to the alcohol. Everything was slightly blurry but I could still make out the over-worked out body that belonged to Emmett, enter my vision._

 _"What the hell happened to you?" He inquired exasperated but my tongue was too thick and heavy to move and talk._

 _"I caught him with his tongue down Denali's throat and his hand up her shirt." I could hear the disdain in Rose's tone as she helped me stay up. "He had his daily dose of alcohol." Emmett groaned and took a step forward._

 _"Doing this won't bring Bella back, Edward." Emmett mumbled and in my drunken stupor I froze. Life flooded my system momentarily and I felt the familiar bite of hurt in my chest at the mention of_ her _name. Rose clicked her tongue and shoved him away with a shake of her head._

 _"Not now, Emmett. Let's get him to Carlisle."_

We were all at the edge of our seat, impatiently waiting. In one swift movement, they removed the cover, placing it to the side and revealing the vanilla cupcakes with pink and white icing. Bella squealed, clapping her hands and latching her arms around her best friend. Emmett let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Looks like I'm getting a shot gun." Carlisle clapped his back with a wide, white, grin that showed off how happy he was for Emmett.

"I'm so happy for you." Bella bubbled with a smile that showed off her sharp cheekbones. Everyone passed around hugs and then grabbed a cupcake to enjoy. Nearly finished, Bella's phone rang, the bright light bouncing off the screen. She excused herself from the table, leaving the three-fourths of a cupcake on top. No one commented or mentioned Bella's departure, in fact, they acted as if it never happened.

I excused myself, receiving wary glances from Alice who stayed still, taking the last bite of her cupcake. By the stairway, Bella faced the wall with her face away from me. The phone was to her ear and she was swaying lightly. I walked closer and only caught the last few words of her conversation.

"Thank you so much, Billy. You don't know how much we appreciate it." Her voice held immense gratitude as she hung up and sighed.

"Problems?" She whipped around with wide eyes and a hand over her heart.

"You scared me!" She admonished. "Don't creep up on me."

"I didn't think you would have a heart attack." I rolled my eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, why?" Her response was quick and defensive. Something wasn't right.

"Just asking. The call seemed urgent."

"It was, it was from my job."

"Ah." I answered. That's right, her life isn't here anymore; it's in New York. To be honest, I'm not even sure _why_ she's here. She hasn't said anything other than personal business, which is vague. "Let's head back. Everyone's waiting and your cupcake is almost whole." She cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Are you counting my intake?"

"It was an obvious observation, considering it's in front of my face." I _was_ counting her intake with the small information I knew about her now. She took the cue and walked back to the table where everyone was laughing and chatting. She gave a subtle nod to Alice who smiled and reached for another cupcake.


	14. Chapter 13

Hey guys! I enjoy what everyone's been saying so I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

 _"Bella, sweetheart." Esme greeted with a warm smile. Her hair, in its usual bronze waves, was floating down her back. She looked up and saw her best friend, of many years, with a smile on her face. All of her hair was pulled into an elegant bun and she had on her favorite red lipstick. "Come in." Bella stepped through, slightly embarrassed to enter without being invited._

 _"Es," The nickname Renee had given Esme since they were young, because of Esme's initial dislike of her name, tickled her. She would always love the nickname and Renee was the only person allowed to ever call her that. "Thank you so much." She clasped Esme's hands. Esme waved one hand around and then kissed her friend's cheek._

 _"Don't be so silly. It's a pleasure to have Bella." Behind her she saw Charlie in the car, giving her a small wave. Esme giggled and leaned in to whisper in Renee's ear. "Have fun tonight." Renee laughed, throwing her head back, allowing the blonde hair to catch the rays of the sun, giving it extra dimension. It was Charlie and Renee's wedding anniversary and Charlie had arranged plans to take his wife out for a phenomenal time in order to make up the rough patches they were going through. Renee pecked Esme's cheek, waving to her daughter, and walking back to her husband who stared at her with utter adoration._

 _Esme turned around seeing the younger version of Renee in front of her. Bella was bare faced, wearing a maroon shirt and her traditional boot cut jeans._

 _"Edward's upstairs, although, he has a friend over." Esme frowned at her statement, not buying for one moment the girl Edward brought was simply his friend. Bella sighed and nodded, walking up and entering the room, without knocking, to see Edward entangled with a woman on top of his bed. She was straddling him and his hands were roaming her back, inching lower every nanosecond._

 _"Well," She popped, surprising both parties. They unlocked from each other and sat up, both mussed and breathing heavily. "This is awkward." Edward's emerald eyes were clouded with desire, taking on a darker shade of green. His hair was in a worst state and his lips were slightly swollen._

 _Bella noticed the girl beside him and instantly recognized her as Maria. She was a relatively new foreign exchange student from Spain. She was petite with bronze skin, black hair and dark features. Edward was immediately attracted to her; he found her intriguing. He enjoyed the way she spoke with a thick accent, allowing her tongue to caress her syllables to sound almost like a sensual lisp. Maria was all over him, as well, enjoying every second of his attention to her, though she didn't know that he did this with every girl._

 _Edward watched Bella's eyes narrow and her hand tighten on the knob. Bella had always seen Edward with other women and had run into similar situations like this, but she always brushed it off. She never showed any sign of jealousy or discomfort. Her face muscles were trained to be impassive and stone, however, with this girl, it seemed like an impossible task._

 _Bella had seen him over the last few days with Maria at school and was getting more irritated by the minute. Needles prickled her skin and steam escaped her ears the more she thought about it. And now, she couldn't control her facial expressions. A frown marred her face and Edward inwardly rejoiced at the fact she was displaying_ displeasure _with his actions. He'd always been the hotheaded jealous one of the two since Bella kept her composure, but seeing her upset and annoyed was something he was slightly enjoying. It made it clear that there was more than Bella led on. She wasn't completely indifferent to him on any romantic level. He watched as her lips pursed outward and smirked._

 _"Hi Bella,"_

 _"Hi." She responded curtly. Maria felt awkward between them two and squirmed on the bed. She had observed how Edward always gravitated towards Bella but was surprised to learn that they were nothing romantic. It didn't matter to her, in fact, it was better for her so that she could sweep in. Her cheeks were flushed with hot desire and her shirt was rumpled, showing more of her ample cleavage than she went for. Edward's eyes never left Bella's sizzling form._

 _"Maria," He murmured without even looking in her direction. "I'll talk to you later." Maria blinked at the obvious dismissal cue that he was giving her. She was surprised and took a second to stand and collect her stuff. She glanced and noticed Bella's clear distaste, so she slung her bag over her shoulder and bent down, gripping Edward's chin in her hand and pressing her lips against his. He didn't even bother closing his eyes, feeling nothing more than the feel of soft, wet, lips on his. Bella rolled her eyes, trying to desperately find a way to cover her jealousy. Maria was into shows and this was her dramatic exit as she swayed her hips from side to side out the door._

 _"Come on," Edward smiled teasingly, offering his hand. "Don't be like that." Bella cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "Bella, she's gone. Come here." She made her way over and sat down on his bed, leaving his hand untouched and extended. Edward was finding this amusing more than insulting and kept staring at how cute she was._

 _"You should put out a sign that warns people before walking in." He chuckled and turned to face her._

 _"You look adorable when you're mad." He complimented as she scrunched her nose and slithered away from him. He was irritating her and he was finding this attractive. "Your lips are all pushed out and—"_

 _"Don't flirt with me Edward Cullen." Bella lashed out and he immediately clipped his lips together although they were twitching at the corners._

 _"Come on, baby, you rebuff all of my charms." He wiggled his eyebrows and called her by the sweet nickname he had given her years ago. It was used rarely but it always made her smile. This time was no different because she cracked. "Aha!" He laughed. "You can't be jealous anymore." Her cheeks reddened and she tightened her arms._

 _"I'm not jealous." She sputtered at his audacity. He was right on the money but he didn't need to know that. "I'm just annoyed to always find you with another girl ready to rip her top off." Bella felt awkward even discussing that. She had never given sex or foreplay any serious thought, considering at the age of fifteen she was still a virgin, unlike a majority of her classmates, including Edward. "You wouldn't like it if you walked in on me semi-naked with someone."_

 _As expected, he grinded his teeth and gripped the sheets in his hands. Anything that included any sort of romantic or sexual contact with another man, made him mad. He was always thwarting off potential boyfriends for Bella. He made sure she was off limits to his teammates and he proudly showed off their relationship to warn others off._

 _Bella paid no attention to him for the moment and sighed, looking out at the hallway. The anger in her was starting to simmer and she felt her fingertips start to cool off. This wasn't anything new—it would never be new. Edward was in deep thought, replaying images over and over again. He looked up at her with a set jaw and hard eyes._

 _"Tell me." He said and she blinked, baffled, at what he meant._

 _"Tell you what?" He leaned forward and ran his fingertips over her cheek. An action that had her cheek leaning into his fingers._

 _"Tell me you don't want me to be with another girl, Bella." She froze, with her golden eyes resembling saucers, as she stared at him. "Just tell me." The words she always wanted to hear were at her disposal, they were within arms-length, and she couldn't believe it. With a few words she could get it off her chest. Emotions were stirring within her, conflicting with one another on what this meant._

 _"I—" The loud thumping of her heart was overrun by the loud stomps of Emmett, who busted through the door with his dark curls and overly friendly smile. He was two years older than Edward and Bella but acted like a five year old at almost all times._

 _"Bella, my love!" He sang in a sing-song, mocking, tone and interrupted their little private moment. Edward glared at him and Bella laughed when his massive body tackled her to the mattress. Emmett had grown up with Bella as well and viewed her as the little sister he didn't have, although, he was more rational than Edward._

 _The conversation was forgotten on her end as she sat there, laughing and talking to Emmett, completely ignoring Edward for the moment. She was absorbed. Edward, on the other hand, didn't forget but he assumed she wasn't as bothered by it as she portrayed so he'd stick to how he was. There were two possibilities in this situation. Either she would completely ignore his trysts and he'd move on with obsession to possess her or he'd push her to the point that she bursts and he could swoop in to take his chance._

 _'I can't go wrong.' He thought to himself, observing the two people on his bed talking. Emmett turned to him and frowned._

 _"Stop daydreaming, princess, join us." Bella smiled at him and he slid closer to talk._

I was waiting in Forks' Diner with Jasper and Rosalie. Emmett had to go visit his dad on an urgent trip but let Rose stay behind since the ride would be too long and uncomfortable for her. So she was in our care for the next twenty four hours. Jasper squeezed the ketchup bottle and let it pour over his fries, coating every single one.

"That looks pretty gross." Rose scrunched her nose as she quickly side-glanced him. The corners of her lips were downturned and she held a piece of a pickle in her hand. Jasper rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"Says the woman who is eating pickles along with a Hershey's bar."

"I'm pregnant." She took a bite of the pickle, letting a crunch sound echo. "What's your excuse?"

"I'm American." He offered lamely. "Who doesn't love ketchup?" Jasper and Rose have known each other for years because they ran in the same circle of friends. They weren't precisely close but they were well acquainted and spoke freely and openly with one another. That's a surprise, considering, Rose hates everybody and Jasper is a quiet human. "Which reminds me, did you save me a cupcake?"

"Yes." She rolled her eyes. "I'll give it to you later."

"Awesome." He grinned, dipping a fry into more ketchup before popping it into his mouth.

"Hey Rose, did Bella confess to you why she's here?" She slowed her chewing for a moment and then swallowed what was in her mouth.

"She told you it was personal matters, didn't she?" Her eyes were glassy and cautiously staring at me. Her fingers suddenly disappeared under the table.

"Yes, but she's too mysterious." I waved a hand around, thanking the low buzzing atmosphere. "She disappears at all moments. She won't share a word of information." Rosalie shrugged, snuggling closer into her camel colored sweater.

"She's a different person. Maybe she doesn't like to share anymore." My elbows were on top of the table and I pressed my fingers together, putting them against my lips.

"Perhaps." I answered, unconvinced. "There's _something_." My eyes flashed to hers. "I know Bella since we were in the womb basically. I know every reaction means something." Jasper, who had been quiet, cleared his throat.

"I think there's more to Bella." He chimed in, lowly, making Rosalie's eyes snap to him. Her fingers went to float over the top of the swell of her stomach. Intrigue pricked at me and my eyes turned to him.

"What do you know?" I asked suspiciously. He wasn't one to say anything without foundation. His face remained free of any specific emotion which was unnerving because I couldn't decode what that meant.

"Nothing concrete." He replied smoothly.

"You talk to Alice, don't you?" I pressed, hoping he'd crack.

"I talk to Alice." He confirmed. "That doesn't mean I'm her diary." I opened my mouth to keep pushing at him, probing from every angle I knew to get information.

"Enough Edward." Rosalie cut in, placing her hand on top of mine. A soft look crossed her face and her newly round cheeks added to the innocence. "I suggest you do your own dirty work if you're so curious." Her gray eyes were stern and ended the conversation as quickly as it had started.

As we exited the diner, Rosalie was giggling over some joke Jasper was repeating. I stopped in my tracks, making them look at me with slight bewilderment.

"Rose, could you please go with Jasper?" I begged, watching her bottom lip jut outward and her eyebrows crinkle. "Jazz you don't have a problem, right?" I asked, glancing at him as he shook his head.

"Why?" She questioned skeptically and I sighed, twirling my car key around my finger.

"I need to do my own dirty work." I repeated her words and her eyes lost their hostility. She released a heavy breath and nodded.

"Fine, but you owe me an ice cream."

"I'll buy you a Rocky Road cone." Her favorite flavor. Her eyes lit up instantly and a smile spread across her lips.

"Done." She leaned forward, with one hand on top of her stomach and the other on my shoulder to kiss my cheek. "Be comprehensive." She whispered in my ear as she pulled back and stepped back. Her face gave nothing away so I shook hands with Jasper.

"I'll talk to you later." He waved and gestured her to follow him to his car as I loaded into mine. The engine revved and I pulled out, heading in the opposite direction than they were.

Comprehensive? That's something I've never heard Rosalie tell me before and she's told me a shit load of things. It was clear that I was the only one out of the loop and it seemed she was keeping it that way on purpose. The air wasn't as thick and muggy as it usually was but it was cold as we were getting over the winter air.

I pulled into the familiar side street, walking up the porch. I lifted my hand to knock on the door, when it opened, scaring me and revealing Garrett's surprised expression. His eyebrows were arched high and his hand was still holding the edge of the door.

"Edward." He addressed politely as I glared at him. A reaction that I couldn't stop from happening. Rose said to be comprehensive, not a fucking miracle worker.

"Garrett." I managed to grit through clenched teeth. Bella appeared behind him in a pair of tights and a tattered navy shirt with mindless phrases written across its chest. Her hair was in a ponytail, which was rare to see her in nowadays, with pieces falling around her makeup free face. Her eyes turned to the ground to avoid any eye contact, giving way to a short awkward silence. Garrett and I kept staring at each other, without blinking, waiting to see who would look away first. I can guarantee him that it would not be fucking me.

"I was just leaving." He muttered hurriedly under his breath. He rushed out the front door and up the block to where he probably parked his car. Tearing my eyes away from his departing form, I smirked.

"Does your precious lover know of our little tryst?" Her eyes narrowed at me silently telling me _'go fuck yourself.'_

"That's none of your concern." She settled for.

"Considering I was involved, I have to disagree." She stood directly in front of the door, giving me no room to even snag a look inside. When I looked over her that's when I noticed the purple bags under her eyes that had become darker than when she first arrived. I had never seen her with bags this bad before and it had to mean she was stressed.

"I don't have time for your childish tantrums—"

"What are you hiding inside, Bella?" I interjected bluntly, avoiding beating around the bush. She blanched right before my eyes, the blood draining from her face.

"What are you talking about?" She deflected harshly as expected.

"You haven't invited me in." I jutted my chin towards the inside of her home, speaking my observation out loud. She never let me step beyond the porch. She rolled her eyes, air entering her body once more in a form of relief.

"I don't want you in here. Simple." Ignoring her, I continued.

"And then, there are the 'personal matters'—" I gestured air quotes with my fingers. "You returned for. It makes me curious to know." I mused for a moment, letting my mind spin with ideas. Testing out a theory, I stepped forward only to have her take a step towards me, as expected, blocking my way into the house. The action was quick and almost involuntary, as if, instinct. "See what I mean." Her eyes looked wild and pained as she looked at me.

"Edward, for once, listen to me. Go away." Her voice climbed higher, meaning that she was nervous. I frowned at her.

"What's going on with you?" I heard a low, guttural, voice come from the inside. I craned my neck to get a glimpse inside at the familiar voice only to feel Bella's hand pressed against my chest to stop me. My frown deepened and I scowled.

"Is that Chief Swan?" I asked, knowing fully well that he had not been Chief Swan in years but it was the way I had always addressed him, out of respect. Her teeth were gnawing on her bottom lip, pushing so tightly against the delicate skin that it was a furious red color that threatened blood.

"Yes." She managed and gave a nod to enforce her statement. Her body went still in my arm, almost lifeless, and her eyes were spaced out of the here and now. Her reaction worried me, so I clasped her hands between mine and looked deep into her eyes. I found fear glassing over in an obvious emotion but behind her gold irises I saw the responsible Bella battling. She needed to leave me right now and go attend something…and I had to let her.

"I want you to trust me and confide in me." I released a breath, pushing a strand of hair that fell over her eyes. "But I'll let you go for now." I pecked her cheek, inhaling the scent of Jasmine from her skin and turned back to my car.

She looked conflicted as she stood in the front porch, a battle happening within her, before she shook her head and flew inside, slamming the door shut. As I drove away, I swallowed to try and simmer the curiosity that burned inside of me. I wanted nothing more than to just press her until she cracked and told me. That's how it used to work with us back in the day, but when I saw how… _heavy_ her eyes looked, I couldn't bring myself to cause her more grief. I'd put away my burning curiosity and let her be. I didn't need to add to the stress.

When I got home, I didn't hear my mom which meant she wasn't home. Carlisle walked down in that second, wearing a maroon pull over sweater that balanced perfectly with his pale skin and brought out his green eyes. A smile pulled on his lips.

"Hey, dad." I greeted.

"Son."

"Where's mom?"

"She went out with Carmen to buy art supplies. She mentioned something about being inspired and you know how she is when she gets an idea in her head." His voice trailed off humorously and I chuckled. Esme was in love with art and the moment she envisioned something she drew it out. She was the one who envisioned this house and its décor. She drew every piece of furniture in here in its correct place. I still have the pencil sketches in my room from when I would hide them when I was little. I used to like to ogle them and try to draw like her. Unfortunately, it usually ended up in multiple balled up pieces of paper in the trash, a broken pencil and a bruised hand.

"Don't we know that." We made our way to the kitchen and sat down to talk in a way we hadn't in a while.

"How's the house hunting going?" He casually inquired with genuine interest.

"It's going well." I answered. "I think I've found a place about fifteen minutes from here so I'm not too far from you and mom." I had lived with my parents so that I could pay off my college loans, but now that they were mostly paid for in full, I felt the need to leave and be independent. I can assume my parents want their house for themselves, even though they insist that's not the case. I was looking for something that would suit me but wouldn't be far away from my family. I think Esme would have a panic attack if I moved cross-country.

"That's fantastic, son!" He exclaimed, his voice filled with pride. "Beer?" He questioned, drumming his fingers on top of the screen of his phone. I nodded and he slid off the stool, opening the door of the fridge.

"I'm hoping to move in by the time spring comes. I'm in the process of signing documents that would officially entitle me as the owner of the house." I heard Carlisle's throaty laugh muffled due to the fact that his head was in the fridge.

"Not even done with one debt and yet indebting yourself in another." The logic of life. You always owed somebody or something. "Adulthood."

"That indeed." His phone lit up brilliantly, silently, alerting him of an incoming call. He kicked the door closed as he looked for the bottle opener in the drawer beside him.

"Your mother always moves my things." He grumbled as he opened the drawer on the opposite side of him. I leaned over and saw the name _Bella Swan_ in large letters. Bella was calling my father? I frowned and grabbed the phone, watching as the call went to voicemail.

"Dad,"

"Hm." He called back, popping the cap off the beer bottle. It landed on the counter with a clatter and he moved on to do the same with the next bottle.

"Why is Bella calling you?" He froze his actions, the bottle opener suspended in midair. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him as he turned with both beer bottles in his hand. "To your work phone, no less."

"I'm not sure."

"You're lying." I accused. "When will people stop _lying_?" I growled and he sighed, placing the bottle in front of me.

"Edward, I don't know."

"She's called you before."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Edward. Enough." He said sternly with a subtle raise of his tone. "It's patient confidentiality." He snatched the phone from me, hiding it in the crook of his elbow. I snagged the beer bottle and took a swing of it.

"Bullshit." I spat but he said nothing in return to that matter.

"Watch your language." I grimaced at the taste of the beer but drank it anyways. I got off the stool and headed for the stairs.

"If you'll excuse me father dearest, I'm going to leave you to talk to Ms. Swan for the rest of the night. Good fucking night."

"Watch your damn language, Edward. I won't repeat it again." I mockingly bowed and walked out taking another sip of beer. _Fuck, fuck, fuckery, fuck. Fuck this. Fuck everything. Fuck everyone._ I was a petulant fucking child.


	15. Chapter 14

Hey guys! Sorry my update is a little later than usual, my life's been buzzing. The good thing is I finally updated this story. This chapter is supposed to give answers so hopefully you all enjoy.

Oh and by the way, I genuinely love the way every single reviewer gives their own personal view on the story and shares their thoughts and theories on it. It's fun to read without having to deal with anyone being nasty, so please continue.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

I hadn't really spoken to my father, but then again he hadn't been home. He kept having emergency phone calls which left him with no other choice but to leave. Esme would get upset but at the same time she was completely understanding.

I hadn't seen or spoken to Bella in a few days and I was glad work was a distraction for once. Jasper did call and he mentioned that he and Alice were spending a lot of time together. The down side to that is that Jane is feeling _"shoved aside"_. The girl was a control freak and it's the same manipulation her sister tried on me.

I sifted the paperwork Angela provided me with into a neat pile and stuffed it into my drawer to look over some other time. My phone vibrated and I saw it was Esme.

"Hi mom."

"Edward," She sounded as if she were laughing on the other side. "Darling, I'm calling to let you know that I'm going out with your father and Carmen and Eleazor."

"Okay." I shut off my computer and reached for my brief case, wedging the phone against my shoulder. My attention wasn't glued to the phone call but I heard something about 'kitchen' and 'food'. "Okay, have fun."

"Bye honey!" Hanging up, I cracked my neck and sighed. Today was stressful and I needed a hot shower…perhaps some Scotch as well. I picked up my brief case and closed the button of my coat as I waved to Angela.

"Good night, Angela."

"Good night, Edward." She smiled kindly and I made my way into the brisk air, hurrying into my car. I turned up the temperature to warm up my skin and took off to go home. There was no traffic and I made it home with two minutes to spare from my usual time.

The house was strangely quiet and the only thing different was the light that came from the kitchen. _Then mom scolds me when_ I _forget._ I made my way to shut it off when the petite figure of Bella surprised me.

She was sitting on the stool that faced me directly, with her light brown hair flowing around her shoulders. Her face was relatively bare from any product and she looked strained. Since the moment she arrived to now there was a noticeable shift in her appearance as if she were harboring something that really weighed on her. As if we were still attuned, I saw a cup of Scotch nestled between her hands. The amber liquid inviting and dangerous in such a small figure. Two of those could knock her out.

"Bella." I said softly and watched her lips press together.

"Edward."

"How'd you get in here?"

"Esme." She answered with a shrug of her shoulders. She took the cup and swung it back, sucking all the amber liquid in one solid gulp. My eyebrow rose in surprise as I watched her neck snap back and twirl the empty glass in her hand.

"I think that's too strong for you." I walked over to try and grab the cup but she swatted me away.

"I drank this like water. My body's used to alcohol." She hiccupped and I sighed, managing to snatch the glass from her tiny hands. "Carlisle told me you saw that I called him."

"Did he now?" I retorted sarcastically, feeling frustrated that they were sharing even a bit of information. "How marvelous."

"Stop being a prick, Edward." Her now glassy gold eyes glared at me. She was still here, in the present, so she wasn't drunk.

"I can't help my very nature." I replied smoothly as I delicately placed the glass in the sink. I had to get her home or she might drink all the alcohol in my house. I grabbed her arm gently and lightly nudged her to walk towards the door.

"Not yet."

"Bella, you're going to get hit by that Scotch." I chided feeling the roles reverse. This used to be the other way around and I never imagined that this day would come. "And when you do, it won't be pretty." Her body was angled towards me and I saw her bottom lip jut out and her eyes fill with some emotion that stirred emotions in my chest. "What's wrong?" I asked for the millionth time.

"Edward." She whispered softly, her voice cracking on the second syllable of my name. A strange string of nerves shot through me at her tone. She used her other hand to cover her eyes and shake her head. "I can't do this anymore." Words that made anybody nervous had the same effect on me. My grip on her tightened infinitesimally.

"You need to sleep, baby." I murmured to her and she shook her head, pulling her arm back from my hold.

"I came to tell you what you're burning to know." She sniffled and my body stiffened at the sight of her fresh tears. They brimmed her eyes but never fell from the rim. "Carlisle's been helping me." She admitted, clasping her hands together in front of her.

"With what?" I slowly pressed, curious.

"My dad." Her eyes were focused on something behind me, as if that were the only way that she could tell me something. I frowned, my heart taking an abnormal rhythm at her small admission.

"What's wrong with Charlie?"

"He has Stage Four lung cancer." It came in an almost inaudible whoosh that stilled the world around us. Everything went silent except for the blood that was rushing to my ears and the slow breaths from Bella.

"What?" The word fell out of my mouth before I could stop it and she screwed her eyes shut. "No, there's no way." I said and she bowed her head.

"That's why I came." She continued with her eyes still shut. "I received news from Carlisle. I hadn't spoken to my father in years after he abandoned us and…" She slowly opened her eyes. "There's… _nothing…_ " Her voice broke into a desperate tone and my hand instantly went to her face. "It's terminal."

"How long?"

"Maybe another month at most." Her hand fisted, clenching the material of her shirt tightly. Her skin had lost all traces of a tan and was back to being its porcelain color, but she was looking a bit ill. And now it all made sense. "Alice accompanied me and I thank heaven every day because I don't think I could do this alone." Her voice sounded muffled and I saw her throat bob as she swallowed hard.

My hands fell away from her face and instantly wrapped around her waist, cradling her to my chest as I used to whenever she was upset and needed uplifting. Her arms circled around my own waist too and she squeezed, pressing her face into my chest.

"Does everybody know?" She hesitantly pulled back and nodded once but I ignored the small spark of irritation. Now was not the time to lash out. "Why couldn't I know?"

"Because I wasn't _supposed_ to do this." She gestured to us with a swish of her hand. "We were never to communicate again—I didn't want to." Something clicked into the puzzle and I looked down at her with my lips in a grim line and heavy eyes.

"You haven't forgiven me, have you?" Her eyes fell to my chest and I knew I was right. She had never once accepted my apology. "Bella, why are you hiding from me?"

"Because I couldn't open that door that would bridge us together. I had finally grown up and I didn't want to fall back into foolish games."

"You as well as I know that I know you better than anyone." She licked her lips. "I could've helped you instead of…I'm such an asshole and you let me be one."

"Why did you make me go back on my word?" She gritted. "Why are you back?"

"Because you know that though you left, whatever we had remained alive. You _know_ I'm not pulling bullshit from my ass." I kissed her forehead softly, swallowing the small bitterness I felt at being kept in the dark. Now wasn't the time, especially when she had alcohol in her system. "So you're the mysterious patient my dad leaves for whenever he gets a call?" She looked down and bit her lip.

"My dad…he needs morphine for the pain and Carlisle… Carlisle told me to tell him whenever—" She shook her head, taking a step back, away from my hold and gripping the edge of the counter. Her back was to me and she was slightly hunched over in a form of resignation. "You don't understand… his screams of agony. His face of pain…I-I can't do this." She shook her head and I stood behind her with a hand on her shoulder. "Alice stays with him during the night when he's sedated so that I could go out for a bit, which is why I'm usually here." Her breathing was even but it was slower than normal. Her nails were pressed against the marble and her veins were visibly tense with the force.

"Come here." I said and she turned to me with tired eyes. All the stress and sadness suddenly making sense.

"Esme makes me forget for a while. I take care of Charlie all morning and afternoon and when he's really bad I don't leave." That would explain why Alice is the one I saw out in the afternoon the other day.

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Does your dad's new state cause your bulimia?" She went rigid in my arms, the feel of her heartbeat thudding against my chest. I could imagine her feeling so out of comfort right now and the strength it was taking her to tell me this was admirable.

"Yes." She replied. "That day was the first day the morphine wore off so quickly." She started tapping her foot rapidly. "He was moaning with pain and coughing like mad. I was so nervous. I just—I don't know. I'm sorry." I tipped her chin up and frowned.

"Don't apologize. Things are different now that I know, Bella." Her eyes bore into mine. "I'm here for you. Completely. For everything you need, even if it's just to cry, you have me. That's never changed."

"I—" She stopped herself with a blink and let her jaw fall open slightly.

"Sh." I soothed with a soft smile. "Open up to me."

"I usually don't want to leave the house but Alice or Carlisle make me leave. They say it's unhealthy to stay locked up with him every second of the day." She rubbed her lips together. "I want to give up." Something fierce in me slashed through and I immediately halted her.

"You can't. There's no such thing."

"I don't have the strength to see my father die." She sounded so broken that I was left speechless. There were no words to heal her right now.

"Let's take you to rest upstairs." I said and she raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"I said rest." I rolled my eyes ignoring her jab.

"Another Scotch?" She questioned quietly with her eyes wide and pleading.

"Bella." I drawled cautiously. "You'll knock out." She tilted her nose higher and walked past me, coming off more like the woman she first arrived as. She opened up a cabinet, standing on the tips of her toes and reached for the bottle. It wasn't like I wasn't enjoying the sight of her body stretching out, but I did not want her straining herself. "Fine." I gave in, grabbing the bottle with ease, since I was taller, and pouring it into a glass tumbler that she had filled with ice.

"Thank you." She took a drag and sighed, clutching the glass close to her chest.

"Come. We'll watch Roman Holiday." I saw the spark in her eye for her everlasting love of classic Audrey Hepburn movies. She nodded in agreement and followed me into the guest room so she'd feel more at ease in neutral ground.

One Scotch later and a few garbled words, she knocked out. Audrey was on the screen towards the end of the film, dressed in regal attire, giving her interview as she subtly nodded to the guy, Joe, she traveled with to keep their affair out of the light. Bella always used to get upset that there was no happy ending and I would irritatingly explain to her, after hours of being forced to watch Audrey movies, that not everything has a happy ending.

Her breathing was soft and steady and she looked in peace. It made me feel uncomfortable to wake her so instead, I reached for her phone and slid the screen, thanking god she didn't have a password. Searching through her contacts, I easily found Alice's name and hit call. On the second ring, she answered in a winded tone.

"Bella, are you okay?" I cleared my throat before answering.

"Alice. It's Edward." Bella stirred by my side before settling closer to me, her face now turned towards me.

"Is Bella okay?" Her voice climbed higher and worry coaxed her voice.

"She's okay right now." This was the most peaceful I'd actually seen her and I couldn't help my fingers from trailing along her hairline. "But she fell asleep and I wouldn't want to move her, so I'm going to let her sleep here. Is that okay?" There was a small silence on the other side of the phone and the only reason I knew Alice hadn't hung up was because of her breathing into the receiver.

"Yes. Just please take care of her."

"You don't have to ask me." I promised. "I'll have her call you tomorrow morning."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Alice." I hung up the call and tossed her phone to the night table beside her from where I retrieved it from. Bella curled up like a cat, or a half-crescent moon and pinched her eyebrows together. I turned back to the TV and witnessed as Joe waited in the Colosseum for Princess Ann to appear but after watching this for years I knew that she never returned and so he left without her.

* * *

I felt a poking sensation on my arm that I swatted away and turned away from. However, the poking only proceeded to my back, continuing its torturous rhythm that didn't let me sleep peacefully. I groaned and shoved my head under the pillow, hoping that in some way this would help tune out the poking. The pillow was yanked from my head, making me let out a frustrated noise.

"What!" I exclaimed loudly to the ceiling with my eyes still shut.

"Sh!" The feminine voice beside me snapped before feeling a light slap on my shoulder. My eyes opened and immediately found the source of the noise with uncombed bed hair and flushed cheeks. "Why am I here?" She whispered as she glanced around unsure. I blinked to let my eyes adjust to the rays of light peeking through the blinds. Propping myself up, I yawned and scratched my head.

"You fell asleep halfway through Roman Holiday." I informed her, seeing the TV was still on and on the menu of the DVD. I must've fallen asleep shortly after. "I told you the Scotch would get to you." Her eyes ducked, avoiding me and I remembered her confession to me last night. I sat up, angling myself towards her and cupped her cheek. "How are you?"

"Okay." She squeaked with a shrug. "I-I have to go home." I knew that half was to go see her father but I also knew that the other half was to escape me.

"Bella—"

"Thank you. For everything." Her voice trailed off and she pressed her lips against my cheek. She jumped out of the bed and padded out of the room with her shoes tucked into the crook of her elbow. I was left on the bed unsure and confused at what happened.

After an hour, I freshened up and headed downstairs to see Esme sitting on a stool with her silk robe draped around her like royalty. She held a mug in between her hands as she smiled, crinkling her eyes.

"Good morning, mom." I pecked her cheek and she pat my cheek affectionately. Her hair was loose, unlike its traditional up-do, reminding me of my mom almost a decade ago.

"Good morning, honey. How are you?" Her eyes scanned around and she grinned. "Where's Bella?" My smile fell.

"She left." Reciprocating me, hers fell as well.

"I see." She sighed and I reached for a piece of toast that was laid out in a plate between us. The creaking of a door alerted us and I saw my dad walk in, dressed in a smoke silk pajama set. His hair was messed and untouched of any product, making him look younger. His eyes widened when he saw me and he nodded.

"Good morning, son."

"Good morning, dad." The air was tense and thick as was the awkward silence that followed. Neither he nor I knew what to say or how to start conversation and it didn't help that guilt writhed in my stomach. "Dad," I nearly choked on my next words. "I'm sorry." It came out in a gush of air but by the shock on his face, I could tell her heard me. "I shouldn't have accused you of anything." His blonde brows were raised in utter surprise and he took a moment before answering. Esme looked up at him expectantly with her hands cradling the smoking mug.

"Thank you, son. Apology accepted."

"Bella told me." I continued getting everything out in the open and his lips formed a thin line. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my place to share something that wasn't mine." I opened my mouth to argue when he cut me off. "Besides, I wasn't exaggerating when I said patient confidentiality. Charlie is technically my patient, so if she didn't want you to know I couldn't go against her wishes. She was adamant on keeping it from you."

"Is it wrong to feel somewhat betrayed that everyone seemed to know but me?" I couldn't hold back the sting I felt as my hands balled into fists. Esme and Carlisle's expressions softened while my jaw tightened.

"No." Esme murmured softly in a patient tone. "You have the right to feel that way. I can't say that I condone our behavior."

"It was the only thing we could do to assure Bella of her sanity. I apologize that you feel like that, son, but we had our hands tied one way or the other." Carlisle's eyes turned to the floor momentarily.

"But I was such an arrogant bastard to her—"

"Darling, you've always been that way." Esme corrected with a knowing look and I scowled. No one to ground a child like a mother.

"Thanks mom."

"The important thing is that you know now and you can help her." He ran a hand through his hair, a pained expression etched on his face. "Charlie has less time than we thought." His voice was somber and drained. My fingers felt numb and my chest ached for Bella. "You need to be there for her like never before."

"I plan to be." I confirmed solemnly. "My perspective on life has changed since my teenage years. I want to be around Bella in the good and the bad." I admitted and watched as both of my parents' mouths dropped. Esme was the first to snap into it, her eyes glittering as she squealed and clapped her hands.

"Music to my ears!" She chirped. Carlisle reacted a moment after, a smile on his face.

"I'm happy for you, son. You and Bella are a match."

"She's the only one that doesn't seem to think so." I mumbled around a bite of the toast. "She runs the first moment she gets." Though romance was not one of the things she was probably crazy over at a time like this, she acted as if it were a taboo.

"Have you told her that you love her?" Esme inquired bluntly with a keen eye. My jaw hung and my limbs remained numb as she mentioned the word I kept away from myself. It felt foreign to hear when associated with me and it spread different mixed feelings in my body. "Don't think I don't notice, darling." She chastised jokingly.

"I—" I swallowed the knot and took a deep breath. "No."

"Well." She gestured between us with a wave of her hand. "That can be a problem. You're being honest about everything minus with what's really important."

"Your mother's right." Carlisle agreed, leaning his elbows on top of the counter top. "If you find Bella that important you have to gamble and risk it all." He popped a piece into his mouth. "Or risk losing her."


	16. Chapter 15

Hey guys, I come back with another chapter. My last chapter answered a big mystery in the story but I do make a disclaimer that I'm not a doctor and don't intend to pretend I am one. I have limited knowledge and won't claim that I'm an expert. Just wanted to put that out there so no one feels offended or off-put by what I write.

Well enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

Bella was near her apartment by now because she'd been walking for over an hour, or at least it felt like an hour to her. In reality, she'd been walking for fifteen minutes while she complained over the long city blocks that looked endless.

A yellow taxi blared its horn as she carelessly crossed the street, making her jump back. Her heart pumped furiously at the loud shrill and she narrowed her eyes at the offended, cursing, pudgy man behind the steering wheel, flicking him off with her middle finger. Ignoring his rants, she wobbled to the other side of the street while many people threw her worried glances.

It was past three in the morning and she was forcing her body to cooperate and move forward to get home before her parents woke up and let her have an earful. Everything around her sounded muffled and muted. Her vision was hazed and unfocused, the only things her eyes made out for certain were the street lamps that gave off a soft yellow glow telling her she was still conscious.

Her body swayed at the tops of the stairs, by the door, and she almost fell backwards. Her hand shot out and was used to steady herself while she ransacked her bag with her other hand for her keys.

"No more He-nny for me-e." She sang in a garbled slur while giggling like a mad woman. Gripping her keys, she blinked to get a clear view of the door knob when an abrupt bang sounded from the other side of the door, startling her. She groaned and bowed her head, leaning her forehead flat against the door, knowing this meant that Renee and Charlie were up. And if they were up than that meant that they had seen the empty, unmade, bed along with the open window and realized she was gone. They were probably waiting for her and she was nowhere near ready for the disapproving look Charlie would bestow her with when he saw her skin-tight short dress that barely brushed her legs. She wasn't mentally prepared or ready for the interrogation that was about to happen, but she reasoned that if she went now then she could crawl into bed that much faster.

Slowly opening the door, the world spun around her as the floor seemed to make its way towards her face. She reached for something, smacking her palm against the pale white, cold, wall to hold herself straight. After regaining her equilibrium, she took another step and bumped her foot into something, making her frown.

 _'Did mom decide to block me from coming home?'_ She thought, imagining the coffee table pressed up against the door to prevent Bella from coming in. She rounded the door only to see two black luggage positioned behind it.

"You can't just leave!" Renee's breathless screams approached, following the heavy thumps of boots walking ahead of her. Renee's blonde locks were down but sprayed against the tears on her face. It was no longer shiny and bouncy but rather limp and dull, lacking luster. She wore her ragged blue sweat pants and a gray oversized shirt. As Renee's voice neared, Bella straightened instantly, snapping her vision away from the threatening luggage to Charlie who walked out with a duffle bag crossed across his chest.

Charlie was young, not even forty yet, but the strain and the stress of the last few months was well-shown on his face. He looked older than he was and his dark, chocolate, eyes looked empty. He glanced up and instantly grimaced when he saw his daughter barely covered tatters of material and a less than cohesive state. He recognized those glassy eyes and spaced out look immediately because he used to stop reckless kids like her all the time in Forks. She was drunk and he knew that fairly well with experience; he didn't have to question her. The corners of his lips turned downward and he swung around to face his upset wife who had her lips in a firm, straight, line.

"Look at her!" He demanded with his finger pointing at Bella in accusation. "She walks in and out whenever the hell she pleases and has no sense of respect." His words bounced off of Bella with no reaction. He spun back to her and frowned, a 'V' forming between his brows. "Where have you been?"

"Out." Bella replied curtly, reaching up to pile her sweaty dark locks that desperately needed a cut on top of her head. She was just starting to feel the effects of dancing in a crowded apartment with a boy draped along her. The alcohol was evaporating from her system the more she stared at her father's displeased face. She never gave him the specifics of her whereabouts, knowing it would tick him off. Bella purposely pushed her father's buttons in an attempt to make her point that she was no longer a kid but a seventeen year old girl who could make her own decisions. She eyed the luggage, suspiciously, the familiar bloom of nerves tickling her stomach. "Where are we going?" She cautiously asked, already dreading the answer.

She didn't want to move again and start a brand new life. She'd been devastated when they moved from Forks to Arizona, having a hard time fitting in with the bright, tanned, faces she encountered. When she moved again she had trouble adjusting to the New York City life and she wasn't prepared to move to another location so quickly. She was aware that her father wasn't happy here and that he got fired from his job which raised the stakes on moving.

"Not _we_ ," Charlie corrected firmly. "Me." His lips were set in a grim line and his eyes were hard. Bella felt like a reverberating harp string that was plucked. The news shook her.

"Where are you going?" She hesitantly repeated as she pressed her nails into the meat of her palm, barely feeling her tongue roll out the words.

"Away." He responded. "Forks, perhaps." The mention of her former hometown that held such a special place in her heart and had so many memories winded her. She couldn't admit to herself how much she missed it.

 _'Edward.'_ She thought in association with her hometown. His name alone brought back a flourish of pain, making her cringe.

"She's our daughter, Charlie." Renee argued in a pleading tone to stop him from committing a mistake he'd regret. Her eyes were wide and twinkling with hope to convince him to stay. She knew that Bella was a handful and she knew Charlie resented this place for taking away his sanity but Renee couldn't let him go because they hit a rough patch. "We have to guide—"

"And look at how we've failed." He spat, inwardly cursing the day that he decided to move from Forks. In Forks, she was a different girl than the one she had become. She was pure and innocent with no outside forces tainting her.

"Don't talk about me like one of your old cases that needed to be solved." Bella barked, offended. She felt objectified and with the alcohol that still lingered in her system, her blood boiled, fueling her anger. "Who are _you_ to judge when you're the one walking away from us." Her voice was like acid and it hit him hard, making him swallow. "You're the one that made us come here."

Charlie knew his decision to leave them was cowardly. He had consulted his brother which resulted in Aro cursing him out, bluntly disapproving of his decision. No one understood that he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't roam the streets with his heart caught in his throat, afraid of walking down a street and finding his daughter strewn and left in an alley. He couldn't handle watching Renee's breakdowns when he would tell her that Bella had snuck out from under their noses. He couldn't watch his little girl delve deeper into a life of careless sin. He couldn't stick around for the moment that Bella would end up like them: knocked up and with no ability to progress forward and complete her dream. He couldn't bear witness to any of that. He was a glass of water that had long reached its limit and was now overflowing with emotion.

"You are _not_ my daughter." The moment the words left his mouth, he instantly regretted them. They echoed in Bella's ears, jabbing her in the pit of her stomach, leaving her breathless. Renee gasped sharply. His words had stung his daughter and made her flinch as the sour pain took over her body. The result of Charlie's words stung all three parties equally: his daughter, his wife and himself. He knew after this, he ruined the small relationship that was left between his daughter and himself. His fingers clenched tighter against the duffle bag strap and he pivoted away from Bella's damp eyes. Disgust mixed with her pain and flowed through her blood combining with her ire as she stared at the back of his dark mane of curls. She choked back a sob and felt her nails dig deeper into her palm to the point of extreme pain.

Charlie stared at his wife's mirror-like eyes that reflected everything she felt like an open book, similar to Bella's, who inherited the same beautiful golden, hazel, eyes. He took a deep breath, feeling his chest expand with hot, crushing, air that burned. He took in every sharp feature on her face and her lovely blonde hair that he was enamored with since the very first time he laid eyes on her. He wanted to recall every inch of her because despite everything he loved her with his soul. He loved them both with everything and he hoped that deep down, they both knew that.

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "Understand—" The moment he leaned in and let his fingers touch her pale skin, Renee shot out, connecting her palm with his now stinging cheek. Her cheeks were puffed and enflamed with dried streaks of tears staining them. Her eyes resembled snake slits and her nostrils were flared. Bella gasped at the action and rushed to her mother's side, cradling her against her chest to soothe her, but also to prevent her from lashing out. Charlie stared at her unleashed fury, like an animal, cupping his burning cheek with his palm.

"Get the fuck out of my home, Charles Swan." She spat venomously with her hair whipping around her face. "Don't ever come back." He swallowed the salty lump that formed in the back of his throat.

"I hate you, you coward." Bella stated with heat in her newly sober state. Her eyes prickled like needles but she held back any emotion and just stared at her father's downtrodden expression. He didn't look superior or certain and he sure didn't feel that way either. "I'll never forgive you." She vowed, pressing her mother's head closer to her chest, giving her the role of a nurturing mother for the moment.

Charlie looked as his treasure, his blessing in disguise, threw him out with steel in her eyes. He was proud of her, however, that she stood up for her mother even against him. He was proud that she was still in there despite it all. Slowly pivoting, he grabbed his luggage, walking out on his life. Barely twenty steps away, his mind was screaming in regret and his heart wanted to lurch out of his chest to stay behind.

As the door shut, Renee's knees gave in and she fell forward, onto her knees sobbing, with Bella's arms around her like a safety blanket. She buried her face in her hands and shook with her cries as she witnessed her marriage crumble before her eyes. She was trying to change Charlie's mind over leaving, but when he verbally dismissed their daughter she felt a burning fury take hold of her to protect her child and soon enough _she_ wanted _him_ gone.

Without actual thought, Bella remained on her knees, with her lips pressed against her mother's hair while a single tear, harboring all of her mixed emotions, streaked down her cheek onto her lip.

"It's okay, mom." She croaked hoarsely.

 _'Traitor.'_ She thought disgustedly, glowering at the door. _'I'll never forgive you, dad.'_ As two different lives took place at that moment so did a different course for the future for each party.


	17. Chapter 16

Hey guys, thanks for all the wonderful feedback. As always I hope you enjoy this after last chapter's little flashback. It was addressed in this story that Charlie left Renee and Bella but I never explained how and rather than glossing over the matter through dialogue, I felt a flashback chapter could present it in better light.

I understand that it's weird and inconceivable to believe Charlie loves Bella after he left, especially the way he did and after what he said to her. However, he truly does. Charlie cannot handle his emotions well at all and Bella's drastic change from an innocent girl to a promiscuous party girl was an overload he couldn't handle. He left to take a step back and not see his daughter self-destruct or worst, end up dead, but that was probably a worst choice. Renee would never leave Bella but that's because her personality is different than her husband's. She is ever devoting and never gives up on those she loves no matter the situation. This doesn't make her better or worse, just plain different. This doesn't excuse him for what he did whatsoever, but this is how I picture him in my story.

Sometimes things aren't black and white, but gray and shady. There are unique traits that Bella inherits from Charlie and hopefully soon you'll be able to know which one I'm specifically talking about. The explanation of this will be revisited in the next few chapters. Until then, ENJOY!

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

The days seemed to fly by and nothing new seem to come from it. Every day was dull and sullen which in part had to do with Bella's lack of presence. I had gone out a few days with a few coworkers to do _something_ other than sit around with a million thoughts racketing my brain.

Mom went out with Carmen for a ladies lunch out which meant that I was home alone. Dad gave me brief updates on Charlie when he saw him and would look more tired out then the last visit. He wasn't holding up too well which put a strain on everyone. I had debated going to Bella's but it was clear from her reaction of blocking my entrance that I was not welcomed and at this very moment, I didn't want to add to her stress. If I were younger, I would've climbed through the window but I've understood that she wouldn't be as happy as she was when I did it back in the day.

I had driven by and seen Garrett and Bella by his car speaking on intimate terms. I would keep my vision straight ahead and release my anger over a glass of Whiskey. Clearly, Garrett and she were on better terms than I thought.

I decided to go and visit Jasper at work and invite my dad for lunch. When I entered the hospital, I smelled the sickly sanitized smell and heard the beeping of monitors. Hospitals were never something I enjoyed being around, even when I was in it myself, because they were the opposite of the bright white walls surrounding it. It was a dark, miserable place that held different situations from happy births to tragic deaths and you were always able to hear a distant cry of a person in distress.

My shoes squeaked against the immaculate floors and I made my way over to the main desk where the nurse sat with a clipboard in her hand.

"Mr. Cullen." She smiled flirtatiously. "How may I help you?"

"Kate," I returned a polite smile along with a nod. "Have you seen Jasper?" She pursed her lips and scanned the area.

"You're in luck, Mr. Cullen." She chirped. "Dr. Whitlock is walking out right now." She pointed behind me and I turned to see Jasper with a file tucked under his arm beside Emmett. They must've sensed me staring because both parties turned and caught me.

"Ed." Emmett called with a cheeky grin as he hugged me.

"Emmett, what are you doing here?" I quickly scanned him over but saw no forms of injuries on him.

"Rose had to come and discuss a few things with her doctor over her pregnancy." He shrugged. "You know how paranoiac she can be when it comes to medical specialists."

"And you're not in there?"

"She actually kicked me out." He chuckled. "I was asked if I could take a few laps around the wing before returning, so I texted Jasper and met up."

"Where's my dad?" The question was for Jasper but Emmett quickly answered.

"He's not here. He went to see Bella." His tone was full on serious mode and his eyes lost their humor. It was obvious Emmett knew and felt uncomfortable talking about it in any matter that wasn't serious. _There go plans for lunch today._ Jasper's lips were in a firm line and his stance was rigid. He hadn't said a word throughout the entire conversation.

"You're quite the unsociable person today." I noted, observing his less than cheery expression as he removed his stethoscope from around his neck. A tired, bleak, look took hold of his features and he shook his head.

"I've been told." He retorted and my tongue hit the roof of my mouth palette.

"Jane?" I questioned only imagining what squabble they got into now. He snorted, but remained silent, piquing my interest even further. Names ran through my mind in a blur to associate him with before settling on one. "Alice?" I drawled carefully and almost instantly his brows scrunched together and he shook his head.

"No." His voice came out a pitch too high, giving him away in his poor attempt at lying. Emmett laughed beside me, waking up a girl who was sleeping on her mother's lap, earning him a glare. He put up a hand and mouthed an 'I'm sorry' before turning back to us.

"What happened?"

"I guess we had a fall out." He vaguely replied.

"A fall out?" What could those two possibly have a fall out over. They haven't even known each other for that long.

"We haven't spoken in a few days." He admitted, the edge of his jaw stretched. "We got into an argument."

"Over what?"

"She received a phone call from a James." He waved his hand around distractedly. "She reacted all nervous and jittery, refusing to pick up and when I asked, she refused to tell me. In fact, she'd try to switch the subject multiple times. It made me suspicious."

"You realize how wrong this whole thing sounds, right?" I snickered quietly and Emmett tried to swallow his laughter. "You're the suspicious one while you have the girlfriend." I pointed at him and he frowned, playing with the end of his stethoscope.

"I haven't done anything with Alice." He clarified with offense in his voice. "So I have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about." I was going to crack another joke at his expense when Emmett smoothly interjected.

"James is her ex-boyfriend." His voice was completely nonchalant as if he were speaking about the weather outside. Our heads whipped around to him and saw his bored expression.

"How the hell do you know that?" I pressed, surprised that he knew. He cocked an eyebrow and let a devilish smirk spread across his face.

"Alice told Rose and Rose told me." He shrugged as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Jasper was staring at him with complete disbelief. "I get let in on most of the gossip since I've been married. My wife loves to gossip as if it were her job." He chuckled to himself. "Especially over dinner. So I'm informed." That wasn't too surprising considering Rose does love a good story and likes to pry information out of people. It went quiet for a moment, the only sound heard was the squeaking of old wheelchairs being dragged across the shiny tiled floor.

"So what else do you know?" Jasper's voice was small but casual and his eyes were smoked with no emotion. The only dead give-away was the tapping of his foot.

"That they dated for a while before Bella returned to Forks. He left her a few months prior to that which was something, and I quote _"I did not see coming,"_ unquote." He bobbed his head to accentuate his statement. "I know that she wanted him back but other than that she didn't delve much deeper. Oh and I know that he wasn't answering her calls when he first broke up with her." Jasper frowned, pursing his lips at the additional revelation Emmett provided. I could see the cogs in his head turning to form a solution.

"But now he's calling her…" He muttered more to himself than out loud.

"I never took you for a polygamous man." I taunted, trying to break the ice and push his buttons further. As expected, his eyes narrowed and his stare hardened.

"If you could hear the shit that comes out of your mouth—"

"I do." I affirmed proudly. "Listen, I'm going to be frank." My humor left my body to take on a more serious tone. "It's plain as fucking day that you like Alice." His jaw ticked. "Dump Jane and get to know her."

"I think you're making assumptions." He tried to cover up as he replaced the stethoscope around his neck.

"You're the one that won't talk to her due to a phone call." I shook my head. "Your relationship with Jane is as sour as can be."

"As much as I appreciate you being a psychologist, don't." He retorted sharply, with narrowed eyes. "You can't begin to understand—" Emmett snorted.

"If you're going to say 'complicated' than I suggest you save it because his whole relationship as a teenager with Bella was complicated." I turned my glare onto the side of Emmett's head but he merely tilted his chin higher in defiance.

"Fuck. Off. Emmett." I said stoically and watched Jasper's eyes gleam with interest.

"So that's the big secret between you and Bella? A bitter break up from a relationship?"

"No that's the complicated part." Emmett cut in and I suddenly wanted Rose to fucking ring his cell phone and bark at him to return to her side. Out of all the times she interrupts us, this is the time she chooses not to? "They were never in a relationship."

"Since you're pouring my fucking feelings out there—" I sneered at him before turning to Jasper. "I'll just clarify that no I didn't have a relationship with Bella. I didn't want one as a kid but I wanted _her_." I could see him calculating what I was saying. "I wanted to have my cake and eat it too." I was unashamed of putting it in those terms because it was the truth I had to come to terms with when she left me all those years ago. It was something I was disgusted with myself over. "So, yes, I do understand how complicated shit can get."

"That doesn't necessarily console me."

"It wasn't supposed to. Just throw in the towel and move on." My phone vibrated vigorously against my pocket, cutting the direction of the conversation. I dug it out and saw it was Carlisle.

"Dad—"

"Son," Carlisle's strained voice flooded through the receiver and instantly tensed me up. "We have a problem."

"What?" Emmett stared at me intently with a thoughtful look.

"It's time." It felt like his voice echoed in an infinite loop even after the lisp of his words ended. I stood rigidly, cupping my phone to my ear with what felt like every tendon in my body. My eyes were spaced out and my fingers balled into fists by my side. I swallowed the nausea that seemed to surface and released a breath.

"Understood." No other words were needed to explain exactly what he had meant. I clicked the phone and saw the wary looks of both Jasper and Emmett.

"What's going on?"

"I have to go." I announced stepping away and stuffing my phone back into my pocket. Emmett's hand grabbed my arm and a frown marred his brow.

"What did Carlisle say, Edward?"

"You look as though you've seen a ghost." _I'm about to._

"It has to do with Bella." A flash of understanding went through Emmett's side but then alarm set in. He understood that Carlisle's phone call was not friendly nor amicable. "I'm leaving." I turned on my heel barely hearing Jasper's attempt at stopping me.

The wheels of my car screeched out of the hospital parking lot loudly as I raced out. The road seemed infinite and never ending as I pushed my foot harder on the accelerator to gain more speed. No matter how fast I went it felt like I hadn't travelled a block.

I quickly glanced down at my phone, pressing the button that allowed the screen to light up to see no incoming messages or calls from Carlisle or Bella. If Carlisle told me, then that meant that Bella _had_ to know and she probably wasn't taking it too well.

Racing past the last red light before arriving at my destination, I felt the heavy irony settle in. Chief Swan would've pulled me over and given me a good ten minute lecture about traffic laws and obeying them before giving me a ticket. When he was still the Chief everyone knew him as the moral and respectable man who held the law high up on a pedestal. But now I was racing, breaking all his codes, to see him and his daughter.

I barely managed to put the gear into _'park'_ before pulling my key out of the ignition and jumping out of my car and running to the stairs. I knocked rapidly and took a deep breath when the door opened and revealed that it was Alice. She was paler than usual with dark bruises under her eyes, her face was completely bare of any cosmetics, and her hair was pushed back. She looked exhausted but I doubt it was due to lack of sleep.

"Edward, you're here." Her voice held a tinge of relief to it and I noticed the glass of water she held in between her hands was pulled closer to her chest.

"Carlisle called me. Of course I would be." Her stance relaxed slightly.

"Good." She nodded firmly, sniffling. "If you're here then you know everything." I nodded. "Bella needs you. Especially right now."

"How is he?" Her lips thinned and she rubbed them together, looking to the ground.

"He's—seen better days." She was trying to downplay it. "He's probably not the guy you remember anymore." A tall, broad man with dark curls and a serious expression. He was also the man that frustrated Bella just as much as me. "And I don't just mean physically." I frowned.

"What do you—"

"Don't focus on his appearance much because he doesn't like to dwell on it. Just—" She stopped midsentence, struggling for words to say. "Be the Edward for Bella." She gave a faint smile and turned towards the stairs, gesturing me to follow her. Closing the door, the house was strangely familiar yet completely distant.

I could almost hear the loud stomps of us as kids running up the stairs with a breathless Renee chasing us. I could smell the sour cooking of one of her many accidents and I could hear Charlie shouting at the TV when it would shut off during one of his games. The place was like a second home but now it was unlike all those memories. It was quiet, grim and eerie.

Walking to the end of the hallway, I saw the bright white door that belonged to Bella's parents' room. It was ajar and Alice softly pushed it through, easily walking through. Taking a step inside, the negative aura didn't disappear, instead a cool breeze greeted me, as well as strained faces.

Bella was on her knees, with her elbows pressed against the mattress, beside Charlie. Her eyes were glassy and tinged with redness but her face was dry meaning she was holding back her tears. Alice made her way to the foot of the bed, holding her glass of water tightly against her chest and by the corner of the room, next to the window was Carlisle. His face was ashen and tired, with dark bags circling underneath his eyes.

My eyes fell upon Charlie who, unlike everyone else in this room, held a smile on his face. His skin was pale with bluish blotches scattered throughout. He was as pallid as the white sheets he was laid upon. His hair was longer than he usually had it, brushing his eyebrows, and it was noticeably thinner. His eyes were drooped and struggling to stay open as they focused on me.

"Edward," Bella murmured softly with a thick voice. My eyes flew to her and I flashed her a smile so that I wouldn't add to the moment.

"Chief Swan." I greeted as I always had and his chest moved heavily with his loud, irregular breathing. He let out a small sound that constituted as a laugh and proceeded to cough. Bella jolted and Carlisle moved over to him until his coughing subsided.

"I haven't heard that in a while." He whispered with a longing smile. "How…are you, Edward?" His speech was hard to understand and I could tell by the crease in Carlisle's brow that he was using a lot of force just to speak.

"I'm well. How are you feeling?" It sounded like an idiotic question but he certainly didn't take it that way. With a wheezy breath he plastered another smile.

"I've seen better days." It was the same response Alice had said just a few minutes prior downstairs. From the corner of my eye, I saw her swallow and I wondered if he had convinced her to say that or if she had told him that and he made use of it. It was a lighthearted attempt at a joke to ease the electricity of tension in this room. "Thank you." He swallowed, closing his eyes briefly as he tried to drag in a large breath. "For being here."

"Please, don't mention it. I'm honored." I made my way over and stood directly behind Bella whose eyes flickered to me for a moment before turning back.

"Charlie, maybe you should sleep. Relax." Carlisle tried in a persuasive look, but by the look in his eye I could tell it was going to be futile. Knowing Charlie, he probably turned down that offer long ago.

"I will. Soon." He paused for a moment to regain his strength to speak. "I have to talk to Bella first."

"Dad, you shouldn't be straining yourself like this." Her tiny hands went up and clasped one of his larger ones, pressing her lips to it. He gave her another tiny smile.

"Let me." She looked unwilling but gave in and gave a small nod for him to continue.


	18. Chapter 17

Hello! This story is coming to its end pretty soon which is sad to think about. This chapter was supposed to be up a little earlier but I got super busy but the important thing is that I've brought it to you guys! I hope you can feel the emotions in this chapter because that's what it is for.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

"We could leave—" Alice offered but was cut off by the fractional shake of his head.

"No. Stay." His eyes ran over all of us once. "All of you." My body zinged with perturbed feelings as I watched him lay there helplessly. We were watching and waiting for him to die. Carlisle settled himself by the window once again and I leaned against the wall as Charlie collected his thoughts for a moment. "I don't want you…to be sad." He started off.

"You can't ask that of me." Bella countered roughly.

"It's my last wish." He stopped and steadied his breathing before continuing. "I'm sorry you have to go through this again." His eyes creased and Bella looked away, locking her jaw. He was referring to the pain of experiencing a parent die again. I, myself, was concerned over this. I wasn't sure how she'd take it. "I wasn't even there when Renee passed."

"Dad—"

"I'm sorry. For everything." His voice rang into the silent room and the only following sound was his struggle to breathe. He coughed but instantly regained his strength. "I know you can't forgive me." Bella squirmed on her knees but said nothing in response to his statement.

"Let's not talk about that." Her lack of denial did surprise me and I could see that it did hurt Charlie. His eyes were dull but there was a spark of pain and pity in his eyes that flashed for a moment. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I know you could never forgive me for leaving you and your mom." Bella's eyes finally met his and I stared at her profile. "You told me so when you first arrived." Bella looked guilt-ridden, dropping her gaze from his face to the sheets beneath him. Charlie took a deep breath. "Don't be ashamed, darling. I would've said the same thing. I was wrong." His voice laced with pain and he squinted before continuing. It wasn't healthy that he was speaking this much and frankly, I was surprised he was able to. No matter what state he was in, Charles Swan remained the determined man he always was.

"I wanted you to remain pure and free of…taint. Whatever that taint even was. I know now you always will be." His lips curved into a faint smile. "I know I'll leave you in great hands." His eyes slid to me and Bella shook her head in rejection of the idea. "If you can find it in your heart to forgive." The message was ominous and was followed by him choking and wheezing. Carlisle shot to him but Charlie raised a hand to stop him.

"I wasn't the best father or husband, but I did love you." Bella's eyes filled with the tears she tried so hard to keep from shedding as she watched her father struggle for air. Everyone in this room felt it in their bones that his end was near. Beside Carlisle, I noticed an empty vile next to a syringe. That must've been the morphine and seeing as Charlie's not taking note on the pain then Carlisle must've recently gave him his last dose.

"Dad," Bella's voice broke as she leaned forward and dashed her tears away with the back of her hand. "You're strong. Please hold on." Carlisle's eyes met mine and I saw they were filled with grief. I felt the lump in the back of my throat start to form as I watched Bella start to crumble before me.

"I hope I see your mother in whatever place…I…go…" I could see the faint spark of happiness in his eyes. _He still loves his wife._ The moment that was transpiring between Bella and Charlie felt private and I felt like an intruder. "Do you think she'll…forgive m-me?" His eyes were staring at the ceiling in a spaced out manner as Bella bit her lip viciously.

"Of course, uncle." Alice chirped in with a fake smile.

"Mom will love you wherever you go." Bella whispered and he turned to look at her, coughing harshly to the point that he was arching his back towards the sky. Bella put a hand on his chest and he broke out in cold sweat. The morphine was starting to wear off and the pain was creeping into his face, although, he tried everything to keep it from showing. He brought a hand up to Bella's cheek and curved his fingers along her cheekbone.

"Dad I—"

"My wild girl. I love you—" He croaked hoarsely, his eyes fluttering shut. "Fly…high and be…" He choked on his last word, letting it hang in the air as he entered a state of overexertion where his body was trying to get more oxygen but his lungs wouldn't take it. Carlisle acted upon instinct and leaped to Charlie, grabbing one arm still. Bella shook and immediately let go of his hand.

"Dad!" She shouted as his hand slipped from her cheek and fell to the bed. "No dad!" She screeched like a madwoman and I moved closer hoping to assist in any way. Charlie suddenly became quiet and his body went completely still. Carlisle checked his pulse with his two fingers only to bow his head, confirming the unspoken thoughts of every single person in this room.

A loud shattering sound jolted me and Alice. I turned to the sound that came from beside the window next to Carlisle to see glass shattered on the floor, glinting reflections of the light. I turned to beside me and saw Bella had stood up with tears staining her cheeks as she grabbed another glass from the night table in her hands. She hurled it across the room making it crash and shatter like the one before.

"No!" She screamed, crying and flailing her arms. My body came into reaction after her quick movements as I ripped a picture frame that she held in her hands, tossing it aside. My arms wrapped around her torso like iron, caging her arms beside her and her body to my chest. She struggled, rocking against me and shaking her head.

"Bella!" Alice screamed once with alarm. I used necessary force to keep her from acting out and slowly her strength dwindled. She stopped shouting and convulsed in my arms as she slid to the floor with me wrapped around her. Tears streaked her cheeks and her eyes were red, enhancing her natural hazel color.

"Bella," I whispered softly into her ear as a tremor ran through her.

"I'm sorry, dad, please come back." Her voice broke and she stared at the limp body with hopes of something magical happening and for once, I wished magic and wishes existed. I would do anything so that she wouldn't have to go through this pain. Loosening my grip around her arms, she pulled out her arms and covered her face with her hands as she sobbed.

"Take her to her room, Edward." Carlisle's mourned voice reached me. He swallowed, sadness written all over his face, as he pulled the sheets over Charlie's body. I nodded, shifting onto my feet and taking Bella in my arms, bridal style, as I pivoted, walking out. To the left was Bella's door, the one I so easily came through years ago and like always, I kicked it open and walked through seeing changes in her room.

The walls were a beige color now and the bed was now a full bed rather than her twin sized. A larger vanity replaced the older one she had and it was now littered with makeup and hair brushes. The resonating sounds of my shoes against the wooden floors was heard and I gently placed Bella onto her bed as she continued wailing.

She curled up into herself like a kitten and turned away from me. She fisted her little hand and let the tears fall onto the pale blue sheets. She repeatedly shook her head.

"Dad…" She murmured. "Dad…" Her tremor ran through her and she only squeezed tighter into herself. The pain that bloomed into my heart made me feel my own type of ache, separate to what she was feeling. I couldn't stand to watch her like this.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I said softly as I kissed her shoulder. She neither acknowledged me nor did she attack me, she was dealing with her own grief and she needed space. I stepped away, turning and walking out of the door to the hallway, where I leaned against the door and dropped my head back against the wall.

The house seemed to have gotten colder and emptier in minutes. The sound of a door closing caught my attention and when I propped up, I saw it was Carlisle walking out of Charlie's room. His eyes were rimmed red and a tear made its way down his face. His lips were thinned out as we stared at each other for a mere sixty seconds, unmoving. He broke contact and walked past me, gesturing me to follow him down the stairs.

"How is she?" He asked in a somber tone while he rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers. My palm cupped the back of my neck as I looked for words.

"She's…grieving."

"That's expected." His eyes glanced towards the stairs before he sighed. "I wish she didn't have to go through this. It pains me."

"I thought he had more time."

"We thought so too." He took a deep breath. "But his condition worsened. His body wasn't responding to the morphine and he seemed to know that the end was closer than expected before any of us. These things happen. We cannot give exact dates, we only predict based on medical results."

These were cases my father dealt with every day. He witnessed many patients die in front of him without being able to do anything. He was helpless sometimes and had to wait around until the end swallowed his patient.

"Did you find out today?" He nodded.

"I came to do a routine checkup and up his dose of morphine because Bella said it was getting worst." He blew out some air. "There wasn't more left for me to do."

"What Charlie said—"

"You picked up on that." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement. I nodded. "I was the one that notified Bella of Charlie's condition since he never called her. When she rushed here, he had asked for her forgiveness for what happened years ago." His lips thinned and he looked uncomfortable. "She was…unable to forgive him and made sure he understood."

"Forgiveness." The word felt foreign on my tongue as I tried it out.

"Bella doesn't forgive." _She hasn't forgiven me._

Light steps alerted us and we saw it was Alice who was coming down with a ghostly expression. She was grasping the banister and repeatedly wiping at her eyes.

"How are you, Alice?" I asked with great care and she shook her head.

"I'll be okay." There was a sudden knock at the door. _Who the hell—_

Alice opened the door and in rushed Jasper with his blonde hair flying down into his eyes and his cheeks red from the cold air outside. He was breathing heavily and his blue eyes scanned the room before capturing Alice's form and cradling her face between his hands.

"What happened?" Alice's eyes welled with tears again. She shook her head and threw herself against Jasper's chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. Without a doubt, Jasper wrapped his arms around her, holding her to his chest with his cheek against the top of her head.

"Charles Swan has passed away." Carlisle said formally and surprise flitted through his eyes. He glanced down at Alice who had her eyes screwed together and her hands fisted into his shirt material.

"Time?"

"Two thirty-two p.m." He nodded and went back to devoting his full attention to the little woman in his embrace. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and rocked her. "Esme and I will help with the preparations for the funeral. It'd be an honor to do this for Charlie." He blinked away a few tears. My dad had known Charlie for years and while they weren't the best of friends, he always thought of him with great respect. He had told countless stories of when they had to double date when they were younger so Renee and Esme could be happy. Alice lifted her head from Jasper's chest and rubbed her red nose.

"My parents should be arriving early tomorrow morning. I let them know as soon as I could." She bit her lip.

"I'll inform Esme." Carlisle's pale skin was paler than usual and his hair was mussed slightly. "Is there anyone else that we should inform?"

"Bella said he has one family friend." She wiped at her eyes. "Billy Black. I could give you his number."

"Thank you, I'd appreciate it." Alice unlocked her arms from around Jasper, while his eyes remained glued to her, and stepped to find her phone. Her form was hunched over slightly rather than her straight, confident, posture. She returned with her iPhone in hand, scrolling through numbers as she sniffled every few seconds. When she got the number she wanted, she handed my father the phone and moved back next to Jasper. Carlisle started dialing when my foot started tapping against the floor in burning impatience.

"Dad, I'm going up to Bella." He peeked up at me from his dialing before nodding. Alice gave me a hint of a smile, trying to hold her usual perky attitude with all her strength. I walked past everyone up the stairs and made it to her room quietly.

From outside her room, her cries were almost inaudible only for a few little outbursts. My hand hovered over the doorknob for a moment as I collected myself. I couldn't allow myself to feel weak if I wanted to be there for Bella; it wouldn't help her. I had seen her cry many times over many years but they were over miniscule things compared to now. I softly pushed through the door, hearing the familiar creak that followed as I stepped through.

Bella's form was still strewn on the bed in the same position I put her in. She was curled tightly like a kitten but her body convulsed from her cries. I made my way over to her but held my distance so that I wouldn't overwhelm her. She didn't acknowledge my presence but I knew that she knew I was here.

I took a seat on the floor beside her bed and leaned my head back against the wall while I stared at her. Any reproach I had or any tactic I wanted to use on her, disappeared from my mind. There was no room for that side of me to come forward.

* * *

I don't know how much time passed by. Perhaps an hour? Maybe two? My ass was numb from sitting in the same position for so much time. My body was stiff and my stomach was complaining from the lack of food but I remained reluctant to move. Bella didn't get worst, fortunately, and eventually even her little tremors died down. Her breathing evened and I assumed she was sleeping.

I heard Carlisle walk around outside but he never once popped in. He most likely felt it was necessary to keep his distance for now and he knew that if something went wrong that I'd let him know immediately.

"You're here." The small voice surprised and was thick with emotion. Bella's body was unmoving, except for her breathing, but I knew very well she spoke. I propped up my foot and leaned my arm against my knee.

"I am."

"You don't have to be."

"You very well know that I don't do anything I don't feel like doing." She stayed quiet for a moment and I almost believed she fell back asleep except she turned around. Her eyes were on me but they were spaced out. They were bloodshot and puffy while her arms were wrapped around her. "I'm sorry this happened." My eyes fell to the floor in front of me and her mattress whined with her movements.

"Thank you." Her voice was empty and her fingers gripped the edge of the bed. Her feet hung from the side and she sat hunched over. I had to tilt my head back in order to see her with clarity since I was on the floor and she was on the bed. "I didn't think I'd feel like this." Her eyes weren't on me when she spoke but I knew it was her way of staying stable for the moment.

"It's okay to mourn, Bella." I replied and she gave a wry smile.

"I thought I'd be sad but nothing like this."

"Talk to me." Her eyes flickered to me before going back to the wall.

"It's a hole in my chest." Her lips pursed. "I caused this." Her statement slapped me in the face, making my head instantly snap from its spot against the wall. My eyebrows furrowed and my nostrils flared.

"What are you talking about? Of course it's not your fault." My voice was sharper than I intended but she didn't even seem to notice. She was lost in her own world. "Charlie died because it was his tim—"

"He died because I'm a fucking bitch!" She exclaimed loudly with steel in her eyes, halting me midsentence. Her outburst lingered in the air for a moment with none of us contributing a single word. My thoughts were scrambled as they looked for words to make a coherent sentence.

"Bella, you have no idea what you're saying."

"I do, Edward. I'm not as stupid as you think I am." My body moved in one fluid movement so that I was leaned on my knees, looking into her angry eyes.

"Stop putting words in my mouth, baby." I said softly in hopes of some consoling to her. "You cannot say something so untrue. Charlie didn't die because of you—"

"Yes he did!" She countered loudly. "He died because I couldn't forgive him!" Again silence fell upon us as a lightbulb went off in my head. _So that's what's torturing her. Her conscious is eating at her._ "We didn't have the best relationship but he was my father and instead of moving past our troubles I threw them in his face! I couldn't forgive him and he died knowing that!" She gripped her hair with her fingers, curling them inward. "How could I forgive him when he abandoned me? He couldn't handle me so he left my mother." Her chest was heaving with overexertion so I leaned up and gripped her arms. "He wasn't there when _she_ died. I didn't see him after that, I didn't even get _one_ call."

"He did _not_ die because you didn't forgive him." I gently shook her but her eyes closed. "Charlie had cancer, Bella. He was in his last stage to the point where not even morphine was effective. Your decision to forgive him or not wasn't going to change the outcome."

"But if he had heard—"

"It wouldn't have changed it." I repeated sternly and her fingers released their death grip on her hair. "I can't tell you whether or not you did the right thing with your father. Only you know that. But I can tell you that I understand your reasoning and I can't blame you." Her eyes were focused down on me. "Get it through that thick skull that this had nothing to do with you."

"But Edward—" I shook my head.

"No buts." I cut in. "Bella, Charlie loved you." It wasn't a lie to make her feel better, it was the truth. The look in Charlie's eyes when he saw Bella explained it all and when he mentioned Renee it was clear as day that he adored his wife to this very day. "He might not have been ideal and he might've not showed it in a shower of affection but he did. He confined you because he loved you, although I'm not justifying his actions. So you see, you could not have killed him. He understood that his actions earned him your rejection and he accepted it." Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes watered again.

"I want my mom and dad." It was a phrase that kids said but at this moment it was the most tender thing spoken. Her voice cracked at the end, giving away her emotion and my face softened incredibly. My hand made its way to her cheek, cupping it, and I rubbed my finger on her cheekbones.

"I know you do and for once in my life I wish magic existed because I would do anything to take away this pain from you." Her teeth encased the red flesh of her lips.

"You're so different." Her voice held awe and I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on the side of my face.

"I'm still the teenager you hate deep inside with anger issues and possessive problems but I've matured. I've had a lot of time over these past eight years." A few stray tears slipped down her cheek but I caught them in time and dried them from her face. "Let's get you into bed to sleep." I stood up and she craned her neck back to look up at me.

"Don't see me like this."

"I've seen you cry for years and this is the moment you need me the most so you're stuck with me." I put my hands on her and gently moved her to the side to place her under the covers. It felt almost like a parental thing to do but it was nurturing and right now she needed everyone around her.

"Edward, stay." She said nothing else other than those two words. So without hesitation, I climbed into the bed beside her, wrapping my arm around her like the old times.

At this moment, nothing was clear. Not a single thing past this moment was planned but rather it seemed more ambiguous. Death isn't known to bring joyous things and now all it was was a matter of counting down the seconds until something else came this way. Her body wasn't as rigid like before as she curled closer against me. I'm not sure how much time passed in utter silence, but eventually my eyes closed and we both drifted off.

* * *

"Edward." I heard somebody whisper and I shifted away from the source. "Edward." With all the disgust in the world, I opened my eyes to be greeted by the rising sun. "Sh." Alice held a finger up to her lip, glancing at Bella, waving me over to her from the door. I slowly made my way off the bed, only causing Bella to curl tighter into herself at the slight jostling.

I was still dressed in my outfit from last night along with my shoes. My body felt sore from the uncomfortable position and my eyes felt heavy as they adjusted to the hallway. Alice was still in her clothes from yesterday. Her bags were darker than the last time and her eyes were puffy, most likely from the tears. Her bob was put into a small bun on her head with pieces sticking out around her face in all directions.

"What time is it?" I heard the rasp in my own voice the moment I spoke.

"It's six fifteen in the morning." She glanced behind me and gave a small smile. "She got some rest. I'm glad, she needed it." I nodded in agreement. She did need some rest, considering resting would distract her from all this guilt she felt.

"Where's Carlisle?" I wondered.

"He's downstairs with Jasper and Esme." _Esme?_

"My mother's here?"

"Yes. Carlisle called her last night when you went upstairs and she rushed over here as soon as she could. By the time she arrived you were asleep and we didn't want to make any rough movements around you." I glanced over my shoulder at Bella's lying body. Her hand was curved towards her, her eyebrows were scrunched together in the middle of her forehead and her lips were pursed with a small 'o.'

"Do you think she'll be—" I lacked a term for _'better'_ since it didn't fit into the situation.

"I don't know." She cut me off fully understanding what I was trying to say. Alice bit her lip, letting frown lines mar her forehead. "When Renee died things went from bad to shit show in less than forty-eight hours." She looked back up at me. "Bella's very attuned to her emotions so they're almost always at one end of the spectrum." I scowled. "She just needs an extra eye on her."

She shut the door quietly and we made our way down the stairs into the living room where Esme's petite form greeted me. She was encased in a burgundy knit sweater that brought out the amber in her eyes. She looked like her regular self if it wasn't for the glassy eyes and jutted lip. Her eyes caught me and she instantly shot up from Carlisle's side and raced over to me, cupping her hands on my face.

"Mom." I said softly and she quickly encased me into a huge Esme-like hug, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my chest.

"I'm so glad you were here." She whispered in response before pulling back and sniffling. I'm not sure if _glad_ was the correct term in this situation. She gave me a quick one over and wiped her cheeks. "I brought you a change of clothes." She cocked her head towards a small duffle bag that was probably filled with clothes my mother clumsily threw in there in her rush. I gave her a form of a smile that my body was able to muster.

"Thank you." Carlisle put down a mug of steaming coffee and rubbed his eyes roughly with his fingertips. He looked drained and almost reluctant to move from the couch. It seemed his lack of sleep was catching up to him along with everything. "Dad, you need to get some rest."

"I've seen some better days." He murmured as he released a breath. He stood up and fixed his sleeves before turning to me. "We should be ready to take care of Bella when she wakes." Esme disappeared after biting her lip and that's when I saw Jasper appear from the kitchen, surprising me. I didn't think he'd actually stay.

"You're here." The surprise in my voice was detectable and he nodded.

"I'm sorry." He gave me a firm pat on the back and I nodded once in acknowledgement.


	19. Chapter 18

Enjoy this chapter! :)

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

The hours passed and it seemed that the severity of the situation finally sunk in. Alice stayed sheltered in the kitchen cooking something with Esme. Carlisle paced back and forth calling different funeral homes while I sat with my head in my hands. It seemed unreal that Charlie Swan was really dead.

I could literally recall every moment I was in this house with him and Charlie. He was a boisterous man at home that had a filthy sewer mouth and a deep, rumbling, laugh. I bounced my leg impatiently when there were quick knocks on the door. My head snapped up and Carlisle stopped mid-pace turning his eyes to the source of the noise.

My body reacted of its own accord, standing up and walking towards the door. Mindlessly opening the door, I was met with two unfamiliar pale faces.

"Who are you?" The man asked with straight lips.

"Edward Cullen. You?" Quick patters interrupted me and Alice squeezed in front of me, throwing herself into the man's arms. He quickly engulfed her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm here, precious." He soothed softly and I instantly understood it was her father and mother that stood before me. Alice pulled back, wiping her eyes and let them in as I closed the door. "Carlisle, it's good to see you again." The man shook Carlisle's hand and I rose an eyebrow. _They apparently know each other on a personal level._ "My wife, Sulpicia." He introduced her in a sullen voice as the woman shook hands with him as well.

The man was incredibly tall with raven hair and a pale complexion. He was broader than Charlie was but they had the same dark brown eyes that pinpointed them as brothers. I could see some of Alice in his calculating stare that never missed anything but it was obvious that she took most of her features from the woman beside him. She was petite like Alice with incredibly long brown hair and clear eyes.

"…She's still sleeping." Carlisle's voice brought me back from my own train of thought. They must be talking about Bella.

"She should be up any moment." Alice added softly and I saw her father peeked down at her. "I've made her some sort of breakfast."

"I never thought I'd have to go through this again." Her father murmured while looking down while his wife pressed herself further into his side with a grimace.

"We already have a wake in order for Charlie." Carlisle announced with furrowed brows. "It's the least we could do for Bella."

"Carlisle, I owe you so much." Alice's father replied. "For taking care of my brother when no one else could…for everything you've done for my niece."

"Don't thank me, Aro." _Aro._ The name rang a bell in the back of my head and I remembered Bella telling me a million times that was her father's brother. It's about time I put a face to the name. "They are family." Aro gave a meek smile in appreciation.

From the floor above us the old wood creaked with movement. Everyone halted and glanced up, knowing very well this meant Bella was awake. The aura seemed to become heavier now and everyone squirmed slightly. Alice being the person she was perked up before everyone, plastering a fake on her face and lifting her shoulders.

"I'll go check on her."

"I'll go with you." Aro volunteered. Alice turned to me and cocked her head.

"Are you coming?" That was code phrase for _you're coming._

"Of course." She turned and led her father and me up the stairs into Bella's old bedroom. Aro seemed to be taking in his surroundings, scowling more the closer we got to her. Alice knocked twice and received a small incoherent voice in response which led her to open the door and walk through.

Bella looked disheveled with puffy eyes and pallid skin. Her hair was a haystack and her body was still in the same clothes, like me, when we fell asleep. Her eyes recognized Aro instantly and her hunched over body straightened.

"Uncle Aro." She breathed softly and a soft, caring, smile appeared on his face.

"Bella, honey." He took three careful steps towards her and then sat beside her. A moment of silence passed between them before Aro cut it. "I'm so sorry." Bella dropped her eyes and clasped her fingers together, twiddling her thumbs. "No one should have to go through this."

"I—" She shook her head. "I'm sorry too, uncle." She swept her eyes up to meet him. "You didn't even get to say goodbye…" His jaw tightened and he swallowed but never did his smile waver from his face. He was staying strong but I wasn't so sure if it was for himself or for her.

"I'll see him before he's buried and that's what I need." He took her hands and a silent conversation passed through their eyes. Alice stepped out and tapped my shoulder.

"I'm going to get her breakfast." I nodded and she disappeared. Bella turned towards me and I noticed the guard she placed in her eyes.

Alice returned with what looked like a steaming soup. It didn't look all that appetizing if I was being honest and I wouldn't blame Bella for not wanting to eat it. She outstretched her hands that were cupping the bowl and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not hungry." Bella recited as expected but it was clear Alice was having none of it. "Alice." She grounded out through her teeth and I took the bowl from her hands, sitting beside her.

"Eat." I said sharply, making her blink at me in surprise. She looked at the soup in my hands and made a face, scrunching up her nose.

"Edward—"

"Bella." She stared at me for a moment and seemed to find what she was looking for because she reluctantly took the bowl from my hand and started sipping from the spoon. Aro and Alice seemed satisfied and excused themselves, leaving us. "How are you?" I questioned, breaking the eternal silence between us. She shrugged, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, and blowing on the surface of the soup.

"Fine." _Fine?_ The oddest part of that statement was she relatively _looked_ fine. She wasn't distraught or trembling or crying. She was sitting up straight, eating quietly and swinging her feet over the edge of the bed. I'm not sure what I preferred more because this way it seemed as though she was harboring everything. "Thank you for staying."

"There's no need to thank me." She turned away from me and continued sipping on her soup while dozing off into space. The ever haunting question I had since we were kids came back to the front of my mind— _what was she thinking?_

* * *

I brought the empty bowl downstairs when Bella finished it, all while she protested that I kept eyeing her. She said she felt like a prisoner under watch. She numbly slipped onto her side and curled into a ball, like a kitten. Her eyes were distant and she looked lost. I waved a hand in front of her and she nodded, giving me a sign of life. _She needs time._

"How'd it go?" Alice asked nervously, her brows crinkling, and her fingers fiddling. Jasper stood behind her but with enough space so that they weren't connected. I gave her the empty bowl and she released a breath. "Thank god." She murmured. "How'd you do it?"

"I simply told her I wasn't going anywhere until she ate it."

"She did always say you had a way of making her do things." Alice clearly knew more than she was willing to let on about me. I had a suspicion she knew of good and bad things concerning my life with her cousin. She stared at the empty bowl and tossed me a small smile. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. You can count on me." Aro stood standing with Carlisle in the corner of the house, chatting quietly amongst each other. His face was pale and his expression seemed exhausted. I could only imagine what he felt when he got the news his brother died.

The house was strangely quiet, but no one did a thing to change it. It was an acceptable silence that flowed within the room. Creaking was heard from upstairs, meaning Bella had gotten up from where I left her an hour ago. Carlisle was in the porch, getting some fresh air while Jasper accompanied him. I had to give the guy credit, he stayed here from the moment he arrived and had no intent to leave. Even when his phone rang, indicating it was Jane, he made a face, silenced it, and tucked it into his pocket without a second thought. I stood up, making Esme turn to me from her conversation with Sulpicia.

"Where are you going, honey?"

"To make sure Bella's okay." She nodded and I made my way up the stairs, feeling the heavy energy as I got closer. When I went to knock on her door, I heard coughing from across the hall. I frowned and listened closer to what sounded like heaving coming from the bathroom. Every fiber in my being stood up while I stilled. Without second thought, I kicked the door opened, letting the crashing sound echo through the house. Bella was kneeled against the ground, one hand holding back her hair while she had her other finger plucked into her mouth. Her body convulsed as she expelled the contents from her stomach and the putrid smell engulfed me.

"What are you doing?" I bellowed as I made my way over to her. She ignored me and pushed her finger further in. I ripped her hand from her mouth and pulled her into my chest as I slid to the floor next to her. Her face was the color of sheet paper and was stained with dry tear tracks beneath the fresh ones that spilled from her eyes. Her eyes were red and her lips were swollen. She slapped my hands away and struggled against my hold.

"Let me go!" She protested with a violent swing of her body. It was actually hard to maintain a stable grip on her while she thrashed so hard.

"Bella cut the fucking shit! Stop." I used a little more force, tightening my grip around her wrist to ensure she wouldn't fall forward or go back to throwing up. Her eyes widened and her body convulsed as she lunged for the toilet. I went with her and saw as she threw up the remaining contents of her food into the toilet, crying loudly. I released a hold on one of her wrists and kneeled on one knee while I propped the other one up to maintain my balance behind her so I was holding her hair.

"Go away, Edward." She sobbed against the porcelain bowl.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked rhetorically.

"Go!" She screamed in a choked cough before she hurled again. The action seemed almost involuntary since she could barely get a word across making it look like her body had a mind of its own. Her free hand tightened around the bowl and her face became the color of a tomato from the blood rushing to her face.

"Alice!" I yelled from my spot, unmoving. I yanked Bella into my arms and held her there as she wailed into her hands in both shame and grief. Alice stumbled up in loud pounding steps and nearly slipped as she came into view, her eyes watching the scene before her. "Get my dad." She nodded without a single word and ran off.

"What the hell have you done, stupid girl." I kissed the top of her head as she rocked in my arms with whimpers.

Carlisle rushed in alarmed, followed by Jasper, and his face crumbled at Bella in my arms. We took her to her room and he eventually sedated her to keep her from thrashing and from wanting to run back into the bathroom. Jasper didn't comment once about her, instead remaining completely professional, as he helped Carlisle. Once she was sedated, Carlisle checked her pulse, seeming satisfied, and rubbed at his eyes.

"It's like Bella wants to run herself to the grave." He murmured. "She needs an extra eye on her. For now, she'll remain sleeping for at least a few hours."

"What does this mean?" Carlisle's tired eyes met mine before dropping back to the sleeping girl on the bed.

"I honestly don't know. This could mean a lot of things. It can mean a relapse in her past behavior due to Charlie's death or it could be her coping mechanism. Something not necessarily permanent."

"You mean there's a chance Bella has reverted back to bulimia?"

"There's a possibility." Jasper added, speaking to me. "But I think before we make a final analysis we need to see what happens when she wakes up." Bella's body seemed frail and I had trouble comprehending that she did this to herself for any reason. Whether it be for both physical appearance or for a coping mechanism.

* * *

Putting the gear shift in park, I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head once before exiting the car. The day was gloomier than it usually was around these parts which was ironic in this situation. The landscape was green with trees decorating the outskirts and headstones scattered around.

I caught eyes of the group of people dressed in black and made my way toward them. Emmett's head easily stood out from the rest at his six-foot-three height and he caught my eye. He made his way to me with a swollen Rosalie in tow. His lips were thinned out and he clasped my back with one of his hands.

"I'm sorry, man." It suddenly felt as though I lost someone. "I should've been there." He looked guilty and I could imagine it was due to the fact that he felt so close to Bella but he wasn't there.

"It's alright, you're here and that's what matters. You were needed elsewhere and Bella fully understands that." Although, he didn't seem completely satisfied with my answer his troubled eyes looked more at ease. Rosalie placed both hands on my upper arms and gave me a meek smile.

"You did good. I'm so proud of you." Her maternal side seemed to show even more now and although I would usually tease her about it, right now, it was something I was completely appreciative of.

"Thanks, Rose." Behind them I saw Esme huddled with Carlisle, Aro with his wife and Alice. To my surprise, I even saw Jasper there, dressed in head to toe black, standing behind Alice. Besides them there were many other familiar faces I had probably seen over my life. I saw Jenks, the sheriff before Charlie who gave him his position. His eyes were rimmed red as he hid his face. There was also a man with incredibly long black hair beside a younger, tan, male. I didn't recognize their faces nor their names but I assume they were Charlie's friends.

My eyes finally landed on Bella's form. Just like everyone, she was dressed in full black with her hair pulled off her face and white roses in her hands. The image she displayed now was a complete one-eighty from how I found her in the bathroom. While she still looked somber, there wasn't complete desolation in her eyes. She was staring at the glossy dark coffin that was positioned to be settled into the ground with piercing eyes. Nothing of the scene was out of the ordinary, except one thing—Garrett. He stood right beside Bella with a saddened expression and whispered something into her ear to which she nodded.

 _What the hell was he doing here?_ My fingers twitched and I felt my muscles knot up by my neck, but I held my breath and counted to ten. This wasn't the time let alone the place for anything. Bella caught my eye, opening her mouth before quickly shutting it and turning her eyes away. Esme came to me, clasping my hands with her own and holding back her emotions.

The ceremony began making everyone's eyes turn to the coffin before us. It was such a beautiful encasing that held onto such tragedy. As the priest murmured offerings and peace, tears slipped from everyone's eyes. Bella suddenly took one step forward, clutching onto the white flowers, and bent down slowly in front of the coffin, as if it were glass and it might break.

"I'll miss you more than you know." She whispered, ignoring the eyes that were on her. "I forgive you, dad. Forgive me." She ran her hands along the glossy exterior before placing the flowers delicately on top, taking a deep breath and returning to her spot. My eyes were glued to her and only when the coffin started descending did we tear our eyes from one another.

The deeper it went into the ground the harder people seemed to cry. Esme clutched onto the lapels of her jacket, squeezing back the tears until she couldn't anymore. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her forehead and swallowing back my own lump that formed in the back of my throat.

 _Good bye, Chief Charles Swan._

* * *

After Charlie's burial, Bella offered us her home to stay with for a while but when we arrived she departed and secluded herself without a word to anyone. Jasper eventually left after furiously stuffing his phone into his pant pocket. It seemed Jane kept calling him and she wasn't taking the fact that she was being ignored lightly. Aro seemed to be losing the thread that he was holding onto and was leaning more on his wife. She excused them and returned to their hotel for the night.

Carlisle was talking to the tan man in the corner in soft whispers. Emmett didn't crack a smile once and Rose tried to console him with soft arm caresses. The only person missing was Alice who snuck out at one point.

There was a loud bang that came from upstairs, capturing my attention. There were muffled whispers that followed and then the loud slamming shut of a door. Emmett, Rose and I gave each other a bewildered look before I got up and made my way up the stairs.

"Do whatever the hell you want!" Alice's growl was heard on the opposite side of Bella's door. She walked out with red cheeks and a scowl nearly bumping into me.

"What's going on?"

"You slept with my cousin." She stated it in a simple statement without hesitation and with direct eye contact. It would be a lie if I said she didn't catch me by surprise.

"What?"

"You heard me." I'm pretty sure there's a _gentleman's code_ for not saying who you sleep with. I raised an eyebrow and she waved me off. "I don't need you to confirm it to me. I'm certain. She called you every insult under the book when she moved away but clearly that's out the window." She muttered under her breath and rolled her eyes. "She's leaving." My eyes widened.

"Where?"

"Possibly New York."

"Are you not going?" She shrugged.

"I don't know yet. I like the small town life right now. I'm not leaving yet and if I do it won't be for the reasons that she's leaving." I felt that dread fill my body once again at the realization that she wouldn't be here for that much longer. "She's leaving to run away. She won't listen so do what you want with that information." She sidestepped me, leaving me cemented to the floor, and walked away. Blood drained from my face and my fingertips went cold.

 _No._ Shaking away the shit I was feeling, I turned the knob and pushed through. Bella was walking around harshly with clothes crushed in her hands from the closet and then threw them into a black luggage. Her eyes glimpsed up and caught me, momentarily halting her movements. Her hair was strewn in different directions probably due to the fact that she ran her fingers through it.

"So I see Alice was right." Bella dropped her eyes and continued stuffing a pair of stilettoes into her luggage, avoiding any eye contact with me.

"Like I said before, Alice likes to talk too much." She murmured, turning and heading back into the closet to grab another armful of clothing.

"You're running away again." She paused, staring at the wall before taking a deep breath into her body.

"I'm not running. I'm leaving. There's a difference."

"Oh is there?" I drawled sarcastically. "Do tell." She tossed in a few articles of clothing into her luggage in a rush.

"I came to see Charlie before he died." She peeked up at me before cutting eye contact again. "My father's not here anymore so I have no reason to stay." Her words were razor sharp and I inwardly flinched.

"That's a nice thing to say to the family that helped you through this time." I sneered and she cringed, faltering in her ice façade for me to see she didn't mean a word of what she was saying.

"Don't twist my words." She gripped the side of the luggage. "That's not what I mean and you know that very well." Her voice was heavy and her eyes were shut. I watched her swallow and couldn't help but wonder what the hell was she thinking. "I will forever be grateful to Esme and Carlisle. They are and will always be my family. I love them."

"Then stay here."

"No." She shook her head, releasing her grip on the luggage and crossing her arms across her chest. "It's time I leave." Her words jolted my body into action and I found myself moving before I had actually regained full consciousness over my thoughts.

"You can't leave." I stated simply as I stood in front of her, bending my neck so that I was staring straight into her eyes. They seemed fragile and lonely the more I looked at them but she held her outward form firm against me. While I had changed over the years, it was clear that so did she.

"Why?" She challenged with a raised eyebrow.

"Because—"

"Because I'm _yours_?" She spat at the word. "Because you think you have some sort of possession over me—you've always thought that!" The snare in her voice was unnerving. "I've already told Alice and I'm telling you—fuck off. I'm leaving and that's that."

"I wasn't going to tell you to that you're mine." _Though you are._ I cut her off her little rant before she would start huffing and puffing. At my words, she blinked in complete surprise and I saw her eyes lose some of their hostility. "Maybe you need to stop jumping to conclusions and listen for once." I snapped. "You should stay to be with the people that care about you, especially during this time." I was fully aware that people are probably wondering what was happening up here and in a few minutes Rose would be bursting through the door with a critical look in her eye. "You know what? I can't do this anymore." Her eyes widened and a look of fear took over. "I can't be begging you for the rest of my life to give me an opportunity. It's clear that that's not your intentions ever." She dropped her gaze to the floor and I felt my heart constrict. "You can't even seem to trust me anymore."

"Is this it for us?" She questioned in a small voice and I ran a shaky hand through my hair. It seemed that doing the right thing was such a hard thing and that was probably why I never did it when I was younger.

"Yes." I replied in the same tone. Her head snapped up at me and her lips parted to start saying something but I beat her to it. "I won't harass you anymore. I've figured that you _are_ different and perhaps you're even immune to my _charm_ as you used to call it." The memory seemed so fresh it actually stung to think about it. "Besides, Garrett seems to be your front man and…although I'm not okay with that…I…respect it." The words were stuck in my throat and it took all my strength to grit them through my teeth but make them sound believable. Bella bit her lip as she stared at me and I saw her eyes water. I gave her the smile she loved the most, the lopsided smile that she would fawn all over and as expected her lips curled upward.

"I don't want—"

"You'll always have me as a friend, Bella." I interjected in a tone above a whisper. "No matter where I am in the world, no matter how small or big your problem is, you have my number and you can always call me. I'll always be there for you and willing to talk." She sniffled.

"Even when you have a crazy wife and kids?" Her voice cracked and the tears seemed ready to spill over her cheeks. I could barely imagine who would come into my life next that would tear away this love I felt for this woman for more than a decade. If there was a woman out there…then bless her because I only envisioned a future with Bella and I was so sure that I would have it. Yet here the world was making me see the consequences of everything I did wrong as a kid and showing me once more that you can't have everything you want in life. The way I treated Bella led to all of this and so did my inability to say anything about my feelings to her.

"Even then." I vowed and once again her teeth bit onto the plump red flesh of her lips. I glanced at her luggage and stepped back. "I should leave you to it."

"You really have grown up." She whispered as I left and shut the door silently behind me. My stomach suddenly felt as though it were being pushed down on and my heart was beating to the point that it was painful. My fingers released the knob and I felt the lump in the back of my throat form before I composed myself and made it back down the stairs. Everyone was waiting there, eyes on me, probably asking a million questions at once.

Alice and I met eye to eye and I gave her a subtle shake of my head. She visibly slumped and her hopeful look dropped. I knew she was counting on me but I couldn't force Bella to stay and I shouldn't have to. Rose had a frown marring her lovely face but I gave her a reassuring smile.

"Excuse me everyone." I kissed all the ladies on the cheek and shook the men's hands. I needed to go home for a while and just sit and think. Think about everything and analyze everything.

"Are you okay, son?" Carlisle asked with a crinkle to his brow and concern written all over his face. I nodded and patted his shoulder. As I made it to the door while pulling on my jacket, I felt a tug on my sleeve. I turned and saw Rose with an analytical look in her eye.

"What's going on, Edward?"

"I'm going home."

"But why?" She pressed. "What happened with Bella? Is she okay?"

"She's fine." I assured her, not wanting the pregnant woman to have some sort of a panic attack. We had keep the details of Bella's incident a secret from her so she wouldn't worry and we planned to keep it that way for a while longer.

"Then what—"

"Rose, please just calm down. It's not healthy for you to be overexerting yourself." Her hands automatically cradled the swell of her stomach as it were the baby itself. She inched off her heels with the rapid questioning but she gave me a hard look.

"She loves you, you know that, right?" _Did I? I wasn't so sure what I knew._

"And I love her." I confessed out loud for the first time and no less to Rosalie. A brilliant smile overtook her features and I could almost picture her dancing right now.

"You know I'm rooting for you. I always have and now that you've matured somewhat I'm really cheering for you."

"Well she's got her eyes set with someone else." Rose snorted.

"Oh please." I leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"You and my niece take care of yourselves for the night." She squeezed my hand and nodded as I walked out and into my car, leaving behind a big chunk of my past.


	20. Chapter 19

Hey guys sorry for the small disappearance but since school is ending for me then it's taking up more of my time than usual. So if I'm ever missing for longer than a week from the last update then that's why. I thought I should address that!

Anyways, the story is nearing its end so I hope you'll stick around for a bit longer. Thank you for the feed back and enjoy :)

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

I'm not sure how long it took to get back home but I know that it was in a blink of an eye and before I could even understand what was going on, I had a glass of whiskey in my hand. I twirled the amber liquid after taking a long drag and feeling it burn down my throat. It wasn't an uncomfortable burning sensation it was just something I knew was happening.

"Bella's leaving." I snorted and then gave a short chuckle. Things really had changed in these past years. Hate filled the abyss that formed when she left and she seemed incapable—or rather—unwilling to feel otherwise. I slammed the glass against the granite countertop and poured myself more than half a glass.

Although, I told her that I wouldn't stop her, my insides were literally boiling with the opportunity of stopping her. I wanted to make her see reason so that she wouldn't leave my side again, but that wasn't reasonable. Bella isn't as easy to convince with a cocky smile anymore and I would want her to stay due to her own reason not because I was being selfish.

"I guess Edward Cullen is an adult…" I threw back the glass and took down the liquid in one gulp. There was barely a burning sensation in my throat this time and I felt the tips of my fingers cool. My head felt lighter than before but everything was in its right position, meaning that I wasn't drunk yet.

Bella had grown into a gorgeous woman, the complete opposite of when she left and of what Charlie wanted her to be. _Gorgeous but sad._ She was running and even Alice knew that but if big-shot Garrett couldn't hold her down then no one could.

 _Garrett._ The sound of his name in my mind brought forth vivid images of my knuckles pounding into his face repeatedly. Was that a normal reaction? No, but what in the fuck is a normal reaction nowadays. In actuality Garrett wasn't a bad guy but the notion that he's Bella's boy-thing is enough to leave a bitter taste in my mouth and dislike him.

* * *

I wasn't sure what time I stopped drinking or what time Carlisle and Esme returned, but what I do know is that the fucking sun is burning my fucking vision. I groaned as I sat up on my mattress and hung my head into my hands. My head was pounding and it felt as though someone was clabbering me with a hammer over and over again. My mouth was dry and my body was begging me for water.

It felt as though I didn't sleep at all and somehow I was supposed to be able to go to work tomorrow. I heard a loud vibration against my night table and I swung my arm over to grab my cell phone. I saw I had two calls from Rose, three from Emmett and two from Jasper.

I dialed Emmett seeing as he was with Rose and the one who called me the most. He picked up on the second ring and sounded as though he just woke up.

"Hello?"

"Em, it's me. You rang." There was a loud sound of sheets ruffling before his loud paddling around the floor. There was a door shut and then his heavy breathing.

"Ed, where the fuck were you? I tried calling you all last night."

"Busy. What happened?"

"I need you to answer me something." He started off warily as though he were testing the waters. "Is Bella leaving?" And then again the memories of last night flooded my mind and suddenly I wanted another glass of Whiskey or perhaps Scotch.

"Yes." I answered dryly and I got a loud groan in response.

"Why now?"

"I don't know. She said Charlie's dead and she has nothing to make her stay."

"That's utter bullshit and she knows it. We all know it!"

"I don't know what you want me to tell you."

"You couldn't convince her?"

"No."

"Alice is staying indefinitely but she's leaving? It's not adding."

"How do you know Alice is staying?"

"Jasper mentioned it to me." He brushed off. "Something about her enjoying the small town life. Besides, I'm sure he will find the time to woo her if she stays."

"First he needs to get the balls to dump Jane."

"He said he's going to deal with her." The line went quiet for a moment and he sighed. "I feel like I haven't been there for her at all since she's returned. With Rose's pregnancy and work—"

"Where's all this sprouting from?"

"I'm supposed to be an emotional support for her yet I feel like I've been anything but that, especially when it came to Charlie. She's the sister I never had yet I saw her only when I went to Esme's."

"Em, I'm sure she understands. Don't think that she holds that against you." So the guilt was eating at him. It wasn't hard to figure out; once Emmett feels something he'll mull over it for a long period of time. I hadn't spoken to Bella about Emmett but I'm more than positive than she didn't feel any sort of bitterness or slightness from his part.

"I didn't even try to make her stay." I froze, my head snapping up from my hand. _Try?_

"She left?"

"I think so. She loaded her car with a bag last night after Carlisle and Esme left." So she really did leave? She wasted no time. My fingers curled around my phone and I felt a lump in the back of my throat limiting my breathing. My heart felt heavier and an ache bloomed in my stomach.

"Listen, I'll call you…later." I clipped shortly into the receiver. He seemed to understand my message because he hung up.

I started pacing, running my fingers through my hair as I exhaled heavily like a bull. Now that it actually happened my body went into some sort of alert. The pain in my chest wouldn't dull but eventually after fifteen minutes of constant pacing, I allowed myself to simmer down. I swallowed my pain and made an effort to freshen up. If Bella was gone, then I had to continue with my own life, even if it wasn't according to my original plans.

* * *

"Have a good night, Angela." I smiled and gave her a nod as she scurried off into her car before the storms fell on us.

"Good night, Edward!" She called, waving from the driver's window. She backed out in her old red car and pulled into the road. The sky was a near charcoal color which meant that it was going to be one hell of a thunderstorm. I got into the driver's side and started the engine. The radio started playing but was interrupted when I got an incoming call.

"Rose." I greeted up into the mic, hearing some static until she cleared her throat.

"Edward, how are you?" Her voice was light which was a surprise considering that she was blubbering all of yesterday. The news of Bella hit her hard and Emmett told me it was nearly impossible to console her. Strong emotions with her pregnancy hormones mustn't have been an easy going combination.

"I'm good. How are you and the little baby feeling?" I could basically see her smile.

"We're both really good. I was calling to let you know that I'm having a dinner on Saturday and everyone's going to be here which means that you have to come as well." There was no asking on her part, she was telling me that I _had_ to be there.

"It seems I have no choice on the matter now do I?" Not as though I would actually miss her dinner.

"Nope." She chirped happily. "Oh and Esme is with me. We're going for my sonogram." She gushed nearly squealing and I smiled, making a left. I heard my mom whispering something in the background which prompted a firm agreement from Rose. "I'll talk to you later! Don't get wet!" Her sign off had me laughing.

Arriving home I saw Carlisle's car parked outside meaning that he was home. _That's a surprise._ Although he was usually gone to attend Charlie, so maybe that meant that he wasn't that needed anymore. I walked in and felt the warm air of the heater greet me. I shed off my pea coat and left it on the back of one of the seats.

"Dad." I called out and I saw Carlisle turnaround from in front of the stove. He was dressed in full black with a pull over and slacks that accompanied his mournful expression. My parents were still in mourning over Charlie's death which they explained was due to how long they knew each other. He cracked a meek smile and I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're cooking?" Carlisle could barely make toast without burning it.

"Don't give me that much credit." He replied, stepping to the side and showcasing the silver kettle on top of the stove. "Tea is about as good as I can make. Maybe some Mac and Cheese if I'm lucky." He pulled out a mug from the cabinet and poured himself some boiling hot tea.

"I'm surprised you're here."

"Frankly, so am I." He murmured into his mug. His concentration was lost for a moment before he snapped out of it. "It feels odd not to be on call at all moments now. Although, I suppose it's a good thing." He sighed, setting the mug down. "I am leaving soon though to the hospital I should be back tonight." I nodded. "How are you?"

"Fine." I answered simply and quickly.

"Fine?"

"As fine as I can be."

"You know she cares for you right."

"I'm not sure that that matters anymore." There was no need to say names. The look in his eye and the tone of his voice explained it all. He gave a grim smile and finished his tea before walking past me and mussing up my hair with hand like he would do when I was a kid. "Dad, what the hell?"

"I'll see you tonight, son." He waved and grabbed his bag as he walked out. _Crazy man._ My phone vibrated in my pocket and I groaned, pulling it out. _It better not be Eric._

"Hello." I answered irritatingly into the phone.

"Bad mood?" Came a familiar voice that made my eyes widen.

"Bella?" I pulled the phone away from my ear and glanced at the name on my phone to assure me that it was her. Just as expected it read Bella over the phone call. Then I realized that I was really speaking to her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She answered quickly before pausing. "Does your offer still stand?" I frowned.

"Which one?"

"The one about talking to you about anything. No matter what?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Good." Her voice held relief. "Will you be available to talk later on then?" My frown deepened as I accommodated myself on the seat.

"You called me now only to ask if you could call me to talk to me later?" That was a tongue twister.

"Yes. It's important."

"Okay."

"Thank you." The line went dead but I stayed on for a few more seconds in hopes that she would talk again. _What happened?_ I missed the woman and it hadn't been a full two days yet. If shit was different back then then perhaps this wouldn't be the outcome of everything. _Where did we go wrong?_

The doorbell rang and I unwillingly walked over and opened it. Jasper waited on the other side with a black umbrella over his head and soaked black boots. The sight of him made me laugh causing him to glare at me.

"Way to laugh you asshole." I cleared my throat and pressed my lips together to hold back any more laughter that threatened to escape.

"You can't blame me." I answered stepping to the side so that he could enter. Without hesitation he walked in and set his umbrella on the wall beside the door, stripping off his wet coat and hanging it behind a seat. "What brings you?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing?" Taking a seat on one of the stools in the kitchen, I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"It's not as though _my_ father died." I responded harshly and immediately winced. The crassness of my words was unnecessary and I'm sure Charlie turned in his grave a bit. Jasper frowned.

"No but Bella left." Just as quickly I couldn't even come up with a reply to his comment. I grabbed one of the glasses of water that I placed in front of us and took a long gulp. While the feeling of the liquid wasn't a fire running down my throat, it served its purpose in keeping the quiet lingering for a while longer. "It doesn't take a detective to see it bothered you." Clearly, he had been observant and taking note on too much.

"How do _you_ know she left?"

"Alice." He quipped. _Right, I should've imagined the little woman would tell Jasper. How else would he be so informed of what goes on._

"Speaking of Alice, what's going on between you both?" His sympathetic expression dropped and his eyes widened.

"Don't try to turn the tables on me."

"Too late." I smirked. "You've been around her a lot, even the day Charlie died."

"I wasn't going to leave her alone during that time." He excused.

"Cut the shit Jasper." I interjected roughly. "All you need is little fucking hearts in your eyes to appear when you look at her." It was plain and obvious that he liked more than her appearance. "You enjoy her company." I assessed but he stayed quiet.

"She's a small package of fun and energy." He muttered reluctantly as if I were his mother and he were telling me his bad deeds of the day. "I care for her."

"Those are big words." I chuckled. "What about Jane?" Jasper hung his head in his hands and pulled at his blonde tresses with his fingers. The irony that the name of the girl he was madly in love with a one point would make him look so unhappy and stressed was not missed. "You look like someone told you they kicked your dog."

"Jane is…I don't even know!" He groaned, snapping his head up. "She's made my life impossible lately."

"Your fault." I shrugged. "You should've dumped her."

"It's not—"

"For fuck's sake, Jazz." I exploded, rolling my eyes. "There's nothing complicated about you growing a pair of balls and dumping her."

"I've been with her for years."

"And at this rate you'll die within the next four years." I shot back. "Since you're a doctor, you tell me, can you die of unhappiness?"

"You're fucking hysterical." He sneered but I shrugged unaffected.

"It wasn't a joke." I leaned forward and pressed my arms against the top of the island. "Listen, I don't know what you want me to tell you. You're unhappy with your current girlfriend and finding happiness with someone else, but somehow you're unwilling to accept that. You're in a shit hole and you're keeping yourself there."

"I'm a fucking disaster." He grumbled under his breath and I raised my glass of water to him.

"Makes two of us."

"I heard Heidi is looking for someone to scratch her itch." I made a face and scrunched up my nose.

"Fuck no." I belted out and he started hysterical laughing, pounding his hand on the counter top and all. "As if I'd go back to your psycho girlfriend's equally psycho sister."

When the laughter died down he became more open in talking about Alice. So an hour later everything was laid flat on the table and he looked less burdened. His phone rang and when he answered whoever it was called him to say that they needed him at the hospital.

The rain slowed for now but with the dark skies looming I doubt that it'll stay that way for long. The evening seemed eternal and boredom was making its way. I needed to go out for a while, maybe for a drink and mingle with society. I dragged myself up the stairs and freshened up from the mugginess.

Running a hand through my hair, I pulled on my black t-shirt and threw on my coat, securing my cigarettes in my pocket. _Speaking of which…_ I pulled out the carton and plucked a cigarette, placing it in between my lips as I turned the knob of the front door.

"Perhaps we came at a bad time." The male voice reached my ears making me look up.


	21. Chapter 20

Hey guys! Sorry once more for the long delay with putting this chapter up but now that school is finished for me I should be good to go. However, the sad part about that is that this story is basically at its end. There will be one or two more chapters at most left that should be up next week. **But** in other news, I'm working on another two stories; I'm not a hundred percent sure if I'm going to publish them here yet, but I will be going into depth about it more in my last chapter for this story.

I give to you a **_very_** long chapter that I hope you enjoy!

Ness

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

Garrett stood on my front steps with a huge black umbrella and his medical attire. Beside him was Bella with her hair pushed back and her arm wound around Garrett's. The initial shock lasted for a moment longer before it wore off and I was able to move. I slowly removed the cigarette from between my lips and blinked.

"Did we?" Bella asked quietly with pleading eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned ignoring her question. Garrett gave her a quick glance but stayed put.

"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Bella's tone was challenging and I saw that the skies opened behind them, letting loose a new storm. Thunder cracked and she screwed her eyes shut making my senses act on their own. I stepped to the side and Bella walked in first while Garrett closed the umbrella behind her. I was tempted to close the door in his face and keep Bella locked away with me but the _moral_ side of me pushed that away. The house seemed bigger with both of them standing in the middle of the living room. Bella had rid herself of her coat but Garrett kept his on.

"Make yourselves comfortable." I said in a tight voice and Bella gave us a small smile.

"I came to talk."

"I thought you left." I retorted. The air felt dense and tense.

"I did." She confirmed with a firm nod of her head. "I wanted to clear a few things up."

"Like?" I raised an eyebrow as I fingered my lighter that was in my pocket.

"You seem to have this misconception that Garrett's my boyfriend." She started. "He's not. He's been a really good friend to me." She started fiddling with her bracelet nervously. I blinked at the onslaught of information.

"What are you talking about? You yourself told me you were going out with him."

"Technically I told you I was going out on a date with him." She corrected, biting her bottom lip. "I lied. He was coming over." Garrett seemed at perfect ease so I assumed he knew about this ahead of time. "He was checking in on Charlie."

"Carlisle's a good friend and asked me as a favor to check up on Bella and her father. He explained to me the situation so when he would give Bella's father the morphine he'd send me to check up on him." Garrett explained. "I started to be around more often when the morphine wouldn't be as effective."

"Whenever Carlisle couldn't make it he'd send Garrett." She gestured her hand in front of him. "I told you I was going out on a date with him that day because I didn't want you to know why he was here. I had no plans of letting Charlie's condition be known so when you surprised me at my house and Garrett showed up I improvised."

My head felt light and suddenly the information became overload. So she _wasn't_ seeing Garrett. It'd be a lie if I said I wasn't suddenly a lot happier than before. Garrett turned to look at her and though she just explained that it was a fake relationship, I saw the look in his eye. There was a spark in them as he gazed at her. He liked Bella, perhaps more than she even knew, and I'm sure he would want their _relationship_ to be real at this moment. _I'm sure that's why he went along with this._ His phone rang and he quickly glanced at it before making a face.

"It seems I'm needed." He sighed, tucking away his phone before turning to Bella. "I'll see you."

"Thank you." She smiled and gave him a hug. He shook my hand and then grabbed his umbrella to walk out into the storm. When the door shut behind him Bella turned back to me. "I asked him to drive me and come with me so you'd hear it with your own ears. I knew you wouldn't believe me if I simply told you."

"All that so I wouldn't know about Charlie?"

"If you knew about Charlie than that would've connected us once again. I didn't want anyone to know originally. I didn't want sympathy from anyone, I don't _like_ sympathy." Her eyes hardened. "I've been through different situations so I wanted to treat this one just as I had with everything else, but obviously that didn't go according to plan." She sighed. "It's hard to explain, Edward. I guess like opening a can of worms."

"You're not supposed to be here right now." She tilted her head to the side.

"No, I'm not. I left." The blistering sound of thunder rumbled through the house. "I stayed at a motel nearby and I thought over a few things."

"Like?"

"How patient you've actually been."

"Patience is not my virtue." I argued, turning away indignantly.

"Neither is peace." She giggled and I sighed.

"What do you want, Bella?" My voice sounded tired to my own ears.

"To apologize." She uttered making me whip back around. "You were there for me when you found about my eating problems and about Charlie. You didn't care that I wanted to tear your head off."

"That's what I've always done for you. That wasn't going to change." She rubbed her lips together, staring at me with something in her eyes.

"We might've changed but we're still us." She murmured softly and I snorted.

"The last time I told you that you thought I was crazy."

"Have you wondered what things would be like now if the past was different?" She brushed my comment off and continued with an ominous tone to her voice. "Would our parents still go out on monthly double dates?" She bobbed her head to one side. "Would I have been the maid of honor at Rose's wedding?" She bobbed her head to the other side. "Would my parents still be alive?" Her voice constricted. "Would we have gotten together like an actual couple? Would we have broken up but managed to salvage our friendship?" It was as though she were ticking off items on a list. "Or would we have stayed together? Perhaps married with our own family." Her eyes bore into mine and we were lost in each other.

"I don't know." I answered honestly although it pained me. Her shoulders slumped and a sad smile tickled her features.

"And we never will." She confirmed. "Things happened for a reason—"

"You can't simply blame everything on me for what happened with Jessica. Bella we were kids—"

"I'm not blaming you for everything that's happened." She interjected sternly. "I shouldn't have left and ran away so easily." She hung her head. "My mom would've found a way to stay if I really wanted to, but I was so mad. I never wanted to see you again, but you're right. We were kids and I knew who you were. The truth is perhaps I wasn't strong enough to match you at that point in my life. My personality was docile and that's why you were able to get anything you wanted from me."

"That's not true." I countered brusquely. "Your personality was strong enough to resist any attempts of me seducing you. You were the one woman who didn't fawn at my feet with a simple smile." Her lips twitched in a small smile. "However you have molded into a new woman with a strong character."

"If there's anything I'm grateful for after all these years away from Forks, it's the way to see life in a new perspective from my own eyes rather than anyone else's. I've learned to please myself."

"I need you to understand that you weren't the same as everyone else, Bella."

"I know." She took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have ran and I shouldn't run now." I leaned off the ball of my feet and felt the blood rush to my fingers.

"You're staying?"

"Yes." I walked over to her and clasped her hands, glad that for once she wasn't swatting me away.

"Maybe if I was more mature things would have been different."

"We can't change the past but maybe—"

"It needs to stay there. In the past." She nodded.

"When I came, Charlie asked me to forgive him, as you know. I couldn't and even though he was dying in front of my eyes I couldn't help but hold a bitterness to him. I felt that he was responsible for what happened with me and my mother." She looked down at our linked hands, repeating her inner thoughts. "When he was on his deathbed it suddenly felt more surreal than anything before. I never witnessed my mom die but watching my father die brought on a new wave of agony. When he finally died I realized I spent all this time begrudging him."

"Bella,"

"He never heard me forgive him and I can't ever forgive myself fully for that." She shook her head and I pulled her closer to me. "The lesson I got from that was that sometimes I _need_ to forgive." Her eyes suddenly seemed endless. "I've kept a grudge over what happened between us for too long. You said you were sorry and I've realized that if I want you in my life I need to forgive you." My eyes widened at the words she used. _Stay in my life?_ "I forgive you, Edward. I hope you forgive me as well."

"For what?" My throat closed up and she smiled, removing her hands and grazing her fingers along my jawline.

"For running. For cutting ties with everyone. For not telling you the truth that brought me here and making everyone stay quiet for me. For never telling you how I actually felt."

"I still feel a small prickling irritating sensation when I think about how everyone knew but me." I grumbled. "I'm just waiting for some time before I address it." She looked slightly hesitant which made me cock my brow.

"I can't blame you. I would probably be the same way."

"I'll forgive you on one condition." I cleared my throat to regain my composure back. She looked up at me with the tips of her fingers still touching my jaw.

"And what's that?"

"You tell me how you feel about me." Her mouth formed a small 'O' and she went stock-still for a moment. It looked as though she was recoiling from her earlier statement.

"Edward, you're a fucking fool." She snorted and when I opened my mouth to protest she pushed herself up on her toes and slammed our mouths together. Her lips were warm and full of invitation as they pressed against mine and full of a strong passion. Our lips moved in perfect harmony with no rush or impatience. It was languid and slow but it was full of everything I missed. Her fingers pulled at the hair at my neck, gripping them with familiarity. She pulled back an inch, our lips brushing against each other as our ragged breaths mingled with one another. "I love you." The intensity and burn behind those words shook me inside.

I felt like my breath left my body completely empty but I was still able to survive. My heart stammered viciously behind my chest until it was the only thing I heard. Adrenaline filled my veins and a smile threatened to break free.

"Ms. Swan you beat me to the punch line." Her furrowed brows started unknitting as it dawned on her. "I love you with every breath I take and I've waited over eight years to say that." I pressed our foreheads together and kept my arms securely wounded around her waist. Laughter bubbled on the surface and she threw herself into another kiss which I did not mind whatsoever. "A fool for you." I tried with a corny smile and she rolled her eyes.

"Suave." She cooed. The loud sound of water hitting the pavement echoed and the room lit up with the purple flashes that occurred every few minutes.

"You're mine." I declared firmly, gauging her reaction.

"What happened to maturing and growing up?" I gave her my lopsided smile and shrugged.

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Her face softened and she rubbed our noses together.

"I'm yours. Completely." More than eight years have I waited for her to repeat those words to me. It felt like déjà vu in a sense but at the same time it was a fresh start. I didn't mean I owned her when I said mine, I just meant we belonged to one another the way people who loved each other did. "I will kill you if you do anything like that again." She threatened and I rolled my eyes.

"My eyes are only trained for you now, baby." She set her feet onto the ground and stepped back giving me a one-over.

"Bad boy Edward is one of my favorites." She flicked the lapel of my leather jacket and I chuckled.

"Well then, pretty girl, you're in luck." I grabbed her around the waist and hauled her against me. She laughed and flailed against me as I walked up the stairs into my room.

* * *

We lied on my bed with our legs entangled together and Bella wearing my button down I threw earlier. I had a cigarette in my fingers and inhaled a puff of smoke before exhaling just as quickly. My fingers ran down Bella's now pale skin and she hummed softly.

"Won't Esme be mad?" She questioned while looking at the cigarette. I nodded and flicked off some of the ashes off the tip in the ashtray beside me.

"One won't hurt." She removed it from my hand and placed it against her lips, breathing in deeply. She had a look of concentration on her face before she exhaled a cloud of gray smoke that enveloped my room. _Maybe one_ will _hurt._ She returned me the cigarette and sat up.

"I hope my dad forgives me for being such a bitch." She sighed and scratched her sex-hair only to make it messier.

"I know he did." Charlie died peacefully with no hatred or bitterness in his soul anymore. He felt love and remorse most of all.

"You know, I couldn't stand the idea of you with any other woman." She stretched her arms over her head and smiled. "Even coming back to Forks after all these years, I was scared to find you with a wife and two kids."

"Do you not know me?" I chuckled. "The picture perfect family wasn't in my plans and least of all with anyone that wasn't you."

"When I asked you if you'd still be my friend even if you had a wife and family of your own and you said yes, something in me snapped. I don't know how to explain it." She crossed her legs pretzel style and played with the hem of my shirt. "I felt lonelier than I had felt in a while."

"How do you think I felt when I thought you were seeing my father's employee?" I growled unintentionally and she ran her thin fingers over the top of my lips.

"You're sort of hot like this." She remarked while I was amused.

"When did you get so bold?"

"New York." She gave me a cheeky grin and I pressed my lips to hers, hearing a soft moan escape her lips. The sound only served to awaken me and drive me further into hearing it again. My tongue delved into her mouth and my arms tightened around her causing another moan to escape through her lips. My fingers played with the skin beneath the shirt and she pressed herself closer to me, pushing her breasts into my chest. Our breathing became ragged and lust presented itself again only to be interrupted when we heard a car pull in. Bella nearly jumped off and checked the window.

"Shit! Esme!" We both flew and grabbed our clothes, dragging them on with expertise. Once I finished hauling on my shirt I turned to see Bella fighting with her hair.

"Leave it, I like it." She snorted.

"As if! This indicates hot sex took place." She grabbed it all and piled it into a ponytail securing it with an elastic while I smirked. _Just how I like it._

 _"Ah! Esme be careful!"_ Rose's loud voice penetrated the windows. _"Shit, why the hell do we have to live in a geographic area where the weather is almost never nice!"_ We started laughing at her complaints and made our way down the stairs.

The doorknob turned and in burst Esme followed by a soaked Rosalie. Her golden tresses darkened up a few shades and stuck to her face and her nostrils were flared. The loud squishing sound of Esme's boots made Bella giggle which caught the attention of the two women that walked into the living room.

"Bella!" Rosalie exclaimed in obvious surprise, her earlier irritation momentarily forgotten. "Why are you still here?"

"Rose." Esme chided and Rosalie squirmed.

"That came out wrong. I meant aren't you supposed to be running away from us?" Her eyebrow rose and her lip gave a small snarl. She was clearly still hurt over Bella's decision and in typical hormonal-bitch manner, she let her know. Esme's brows furrowed and she whipped around to look at her.

"Rosalie!" Rose merely shrugged but remained put by her statement.

"I'm speaking the truth, Esme." Bella bit the corner of her lip before taking a step forward.

"I've thought things over." Esme's eyes flitted to her with a spark of hope in them. "Everyone's right. I'm running away for the wrong reasons when everyone who cares about me is here."

"Oh sweetheart." Esme clapped her hands and made her way over to Bella, grasping her hands in hers. "I'm so glad." My eye caught Rosalie's smirk and my eyebrows knit together. She held back a giggle with a small cough behind her hand. I narrowed my eyes and she grinned.

 _'Your fly.'_ She mouthed with a cynical smile and my eyes instantly flew to my pants zipper which was open. In my hurry, I must've forgotten to zip it up. Looking into Rosalie's beady little eyes I knew that she knew we had sex. I shrugged with a smirk and let it be.

"Are you still mad, Rose?" Bella's small voice broke through our own private mockery session.

"Are you really asking a pregnant woman if she's mad?" I voiced and Rosalie narrowed her gray eyes at me.

"You shouldn't be talking. I'm still waiting for my Rocky Road cone." She tilted her face away from me as I chuckled. "Yes and no. How dare you put me through that shit again?" Her face was one of no nonsense. "But no because I'm glad you're still here. Who the hell else would be my baby's godmother?" She sighed and hugged Bella tightly, her shoulders relaxing.

"I'm sorry." Bella whispered and the words had an immediate effect. Rosalie was smiling and it seemed as though a heavy weight had been lifted off of her.

"As long as you don't do this again." She warned and Bella lifted her hand and crossed her fingers.

"Promise." Esme's smile was blinding. She could barely hold in her emotions as she heard Bella confirm her stay.

"So you and Edward made up?" Rosalie asked straight out with no beating around the bush. Her face was expectant but her eyes were twinkling with curiosity. Bella bit her lip, a smile flirting on her face before she turned to me.

"Something like that." I replied smoothly and Bella jammed her elbow into my side making me wince and bow forward, holding my stomach.

"Ass." She muttered. Rosalie laughed with delight and tilted her head as she looked at me.

"I guess you gave the wrong answer." Catching my breath, I inhaled deeply finding my center and then managed to stand up straight beside the little pretty demon.

"Clearly." I drawled, shifting one inch away from her to avoid any more elbow jamming. Esme's hopeful eyes were on us and a soft smile graced her face. "We've made up." I affirmed and Rosalie squealed.

"Excellent. Emmett and I were starting to work on plans to stick you two in a room together, hoping for a positive outcome." She had no shame and I knew that they would actually go through with their plans.

"You have too much free time on your hands." Bella gasped with wide eyes and Rose winked at her.

"So this means?" She pressed and I stepped behind Bella and kissed her temple.

"It means we're giving it a chance." Bella answered. "To see where this goes." Esme immediately hugged us and bounced to the cabinet where she pulled out a Pinot Noir for us and Apple Cider for the pregnant lady who kept firing questions at us.

* * *

Rosalie peeked her head from the living room with a smile. Her eyes held some amusement to them. From the living room we could hear the buzzing of everyone.

"Everyone's here and ready."

"Thanks, Rose." I replied and she happily walked away. Esme gave her the job of keeping everyone away from the kitchen and settled until we decided to walk out. No one besides me, Rose and Esme knew of Bella's return and Esme chastised us until we agreed to speak with everyone. She thought it would be good to face everyone and she thought it would be good for me to tell everyone of how I felt during this entire time period since Bella's return. I couldn't refute her because she had her mind set so we agreed.

However, Bella was sitting on the island stool, folding a napkin once—twice—no thrice, as she squirmed in her seat. Her brows were pushed together and her lips were in a tight line. It was an understatement to say she was nervous.

"Let's go, Bella." I placed my hand on her fidgeting fingers and she stilled for a moment. "Hey," I whispered near her ear. "I thought you said no more running away."

"I said no running away but that doesn't mean that I'm not nervous." She shot back, her eyes focused on the still napkin. I smiled and kissed behind her ear, smelling the faint trace of jasmine off of her skin.

"It's just everyone we know. Not any strangers."

"Sometimes I prefer to deal with strangers." She muttered under her breath. "I can't even begin to imagine their faces."

"They'll be happy to see you're back."

"You obviously don't know Alice."

"But you do and I'm sure you'll work out whatever you need." She sighed and I grinned against her skin, causing her to shudder. Her body, as always, was receptive to whatever mine did to hers. "Now no more stalling or making up lame excuses, stupid girl."

"Shut up, stupid ass." Her voice was half-threatening and I chuckled.

 _"Why are we here?"_ I heard Jasper ask and I rolled my eyes. _"I mean not that I mind, Dr. Cullen—"_

"Kiss ass." Bella and I murmured in unison, laughing quietly.

 _"But it was so random."_

 _"I don't know, Jasper. I didn't even know you'd be here. Esme I didn't know you even had Jasper's number."_

 _"I don't."_ Mom voiced happily. _"But Alice does."_

 _"Where's Edward?"_ I heard Emmett ask. _"I thought it was a full on gathering for news on the baby."_

 _"Oh he's coming, if he would just_ leave the kitchen! _"_ I could hear the high-pitched emphasis on Rosalie's voice and I knew that was our cue. Bella hopped from the seat and nodded.

"Come on before Rose mauls us." I entwined our fingers as we walked out to be greeted by overwhelmed faces.

"Bella!" The collective gasp was in synch and she waved with a shy smile.

"Hi!" Emmett made his way to move until Rose grabbed his shirt.

"Emmett, do not move from your spot. They have something they want to convey and you'll give Bella an easy way out of it if you start speaking to her."

"Fine." He grumbled and stood in place.

"I'm so glad to see you, Bella!" Carlisle said overjoyed, a genuine smile on his face. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, thank you for worrying so much." Everyone's eyes focused on our hands and I could see the evident question forming in their heads. "I wanted to tell everyone that I was sorry for what happened." Bella started. "I came here with the intention of being by my father's side during his last days but I also gave you all so much trouble and in the end, I left without saying a word or even a thank you. That was uncalled for and I am so terribly sorry." Her head fell for a moment and I saw everyone open their mouths to start jumping in with their comments.

"But before you all start talking and jumping in, I want to address something that has bothered me." Mouths became tightlipped and the attention shifted to me, including Bella's. "I know that you all knew of Charlie's condition and that that was the reason Bella came back in the first place." Eyes shifted around the room. "And I also know that you kept it a secret from me because she asked you to, but I feel neglected and almost isolated because of that."

"Edward—"

"I know I am probably the biggest asshole in Forks—" I shrugged mindlessly and without shame. I felt no shame in admitting who I was. "But I am also part of this family and your friend." My eyes flickered to everyone that surrounded us. "And if anyone knows Bella the best it's me. I know her like the back of my hand and I should have been let in on this secret you all kept." My voice was steel and my chest felt heavy.

"We wanted to tell you but we didn't know how you'd react." Emmett interjected. "I was caught between my loyalties for you two but in the end I chose Bella because of the circumstances."

"I know and if anything, I do appreciate your loyalty and love for Bella. She needed it at the time." Her hand tightened around mine. "But it doesn't take away the fact that everyone tip toed around me."

"Edward," She tugged at my hand. "It's my fault that they kept it from you, I practically cried in front of them and made them promise they would. I apologize that you felt that way, but at the time it was something I really wanted. I needed to not tell you because if I did, I knew you would've helped me out and it would have made the situation worst for me. I would've fallen apart when I needed to be held up together with glue." Her eyes were wide and filled with sadness and my heart constricted. _Ugh this stupid girl makes me melt._

"I want you all to swear that you won't keep something of this measure or anything that pertains to one another—whoever it may be about—from me or anyone that is present here today." Eyes turned to scan each other, some guilty and some more determined. "Ignorance isn't bliss, especially when you only get a quarter of the story. You feel like a useless idiot."

Everyone turned to Carlisle, who smiled and pushed his hand through his hair.

"In everyone's favor, we all swear that this miscommunication will not happen again." I looked down at Bella who looked at me with innocent eyes.

"What?" She feigned confusion and I cocked a brow. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Fine, I swear, Edward." She turned back to everyone and grinned. "Thank you so much everyone, for your emotional support, that's all I could ever want or ask for from you." Emmett jetted from his spot and gathered her in his arms, crushing her against his chest as she tried to breathe air. He was still feeling guilty over not being there for her and I could hear him whispering his apologies. A tug at my arm called my attention and I saw it was Bella.

"So, you're with my cousin then?" It was more a rhetorical question because I could tell by the look in her eye that she knew the answer.

"Yes."

"I knew that _you_ would be the only one to convince her to stay." She sighed. "You were the only thing that would make her stay."

"And here I thought you hated me." I joked and she cracked a smile.

"I did." She shrugged unashamed and I feigned hurt. _She was so blunt._ "But that's my job as a cousin. I'm supposed to hate everyone Bella hates and even though I knew she didn't really hate you, as long as she disliked you, I disliked you. Pretty simple math."

"You're a real odd ball."

"Trust me," She drawled. "You're not the first to tell me that. I really want you to make her happy Edward. She needs a sense of love that won't dissipate or abandon her." Her voice became more sullen. "Everything she loves vanishes so I know that deciding to stay with you took a lot of her willpower. She was scared to love anything because she was scared it would leave her or she would have to leave it."

"I have no intention of letting that woman slide from the tips of my fingers again." Alice glanced over her shoulder to look at Bella who was laughing with Rosalie and Emmett, her hand pressed against Rose's swollen bump. "Besides, she loves you Alice. She loves you a lot and you have never once left her side." She turned to look at me and blinked rapidly, as if absorbing the true meaning of my words. "I think she's scared to lose you just as much as she's scared to lose me."

"I have no intention of letting my stupid cousin be without me. That's why I've been with her for so long. She's like my sister."

"So then you're going to forgive her for leaving?"

"Eventually." She sighed and I rose an eyebrow.

"What do you mean eventually? What happened to that speech of "not letting her be without you," that you sprung about two seconds ago."

"I stand by it." She said with her arms crossed across her chest. "But that doesn't mean I can't let her suffer a little. She did, after all, piss me off with her crap the night she left." She winked at me with a sly smirk. "She has a strong character so she won't take too much offense in it."

"Speaking of characters, I see you and Jasper have been getting along famously." My voice was cool and collected and I saw from the corner of my eye her eyes widen and her face turn a pink hue.

"He's an excellent friend and doctor."

"Uh-huh," I clicked my tongue. "You're cousin is coming this way to talk to you so I'll leave you and your blushing face alone for the time being." She glared at me and I laughed. "I'll go see if Jasper turns the same shade of red as you."

"Edward!" She yelled and I walked away laughing as Bella passed me with a questioning look. I shook my head and kissed her cheek. _Things felt a little more balanced then before._


	22. Chapter 21 Epilogue

After a long long time I have finally and ultimately updated this story for the last time. Getting to this point has been such a bittersweet ride but its been absolutely amazing writing this story. It's a new field I drabbled into and I'm glad on how it turned out. I want to thank anyone who read, favorited, followed or even reviewed this story and enjoyed it. You have no idea what this means to me. Your support has helped me along the way.

This story was meant to emphasize the blurriness and grayness of life. The insecureness, the grudges, the love, the anger, the guilt...everything that it means to be human. Each character had their flaws and I enjoyed delving into that and allowing them to come to life not just as perfect beings. I hope you all enjoy this conclusion. It's not a fairytale so don't forget that not every aspect is bright and dandy.

Now for updated news, yes, this story is over and I most likely will not revisit it, but I have started working on some other projects. Some are a little more light hearted and the one I am currently writing is a little more serious in tone. I will **most likely** update that one within the **next week or so** so please stick around to see what new adventures pop into my brain.

Thank you once more and enjoy! I hope to see you in my next story.

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

"Why do you automatically assume that she's with me?" Alice's nonchalant voice rang through the Bluetooth of my dashboard in the car. I snorted.

"Is that even a question?" I shot back rhetorically. "You're like glue to paper."

"She was here earlier." She admitted with a sigh. "But then she went to Rose's. Now why is it you've taken the long road and called me instead of her?"

"Your cousin left her phone at home." I answered back with a shake of my head and made a right turn.

"Ah." She ceded. "That is something she would do. I'm glad I could be of service."

"How are things going with you and Jasper?" I asked casually and for a moment the great Alice was completely silent before she giggled. "I'm going to assume that you haven't started going out with him yet."

"Your deduction skills are as sharp as ever." She noted and I heard a faint snap of her fingers.

"Until when will you torture my dear friend?" I inquired with feign exasperation in my voice. She snorted in response and I was sure she would hang up on me.

"Until I feel like it." She retorted. After the funeral of Chief Swan had finally passed over everyone, Alice went into a fit of anger with Jasper. She ended ties with him completely because she realized that over this entire time he still was with Jane and had sex with her a day before he came clean to Alice. It'd be an understatement to say that she was _not_ a happy camper. It's not to say that Alice didn't know that he was with Jane as his girlfriend the entire time but they never did anything that they would have to be ashamed of. Well that was until they both started to fall in love with one another and she had expected him to put an end to that chapter in his life. However that wasn't the case, Jasper was still a sissy and kept Jane there with the excuse that their relationship was too long and it made him feel uncertain.

Alice didn't take calmly to his excuses and nearly shoved a boot up his ass while Bella watched in sympathy. She said that she yelled at him that she was glad they never did anything and that she refused to be some fool to toy with any longer. Bella stayed with Alice and some ice cream for six days in a row. Naturally having Bella away from me made me want to shove Jasper's head into a blender, but I also did feel bad for Alice.

When I met with Jasper a few days after the incident, he was a disaster. He had called off from work for three days and he had dark purple circles under his eyes. Alice's shit him hard, because I don't think I've ever seen him like that when he and Jane argued. He knew what he did wrong and by the time I went to go see him, he had told me he ended things with Jane. She took it better than he expected and he said he felt like a fool for believing otherwise. Unfortunately for him this didn't mean that Alice was more than willing to talk to him. After a month of apologizing she finally gave in and spoke with him, according to Bella, Alice needed time to simmer down. She said they were both at fault, because he was still with his girlfriend and Alice knew and decided to stay. Now they were on much better terms but when Jasper asked her to go out, she flat out rejected him with her evil little smile. Somehow, the man is still chasing after her, maybe more enchanted by her now than before. It's like she's some sort of witch.

"You and Bella are similarly alike."

"We are cousins." She shot back. "But no, I love Jasper very much that it actually irritates me." She growled and I chuckled. "I'm going to give it a shot with him."

"Oh." I drawled. "When is that?"

"Don't know. Does it matter?"

"It took you three months until you completely forgave Bella so…"

"He doesn't have to know when and you stop being so nosy. There's nothing wrong with him groveling a bit, if I'm not mistaken, you had to grovel a bit yourself." There was confidence and cockiness coaxing her voice.

"You never miss a jab, do you?"

"Nope." I was nearing Rose's house so I decided to end the call.

"Well I'm almost at Rose's so I'll talk to you later. Hopefully next time I call you're having sex with my friend as his girlfriend." I smirked, knowing fully well her face would be bright red and her mouth was flapping like a fish out of water.

"Screw you, Edward!" She sputtered and hung up as I sniggered crassly. Thinking back to what she said about groveling left a bitter taste in my mouth. Five months after Chief Swan's passing, Bella decided to leave Forks. She said she had to return to her life to put in her resignation and sell her place if she wanted to fully live in Forks. That was the cause of one of our biggest arguments because even after she decided to stay with me it wasn't all sunshine and lilies.

 _"I'm not having this conversation with you again, Edward." Bella growled as she stuffed her heels into the luggage. I was pacing around her like a madman, glaring at every piece of clothing she stuffed away._

 _"You don't have to go, you can do this from here. Sell your place and resign your job." She slammed her hands on the edge of the luggage and snapped her head up to glare at me._

 _"Even if I could do that, I'm not going to." She quipped. "I'm going to personally do this. I'm not asking your permission, I'm telling you that I'm going."_

 _"Alice went before—"_

 _"Alice got a transfer from New York to here in Forks that was completely different." She responded. "Besides, she's meeting me in New York to sell our apartment next week."_

 _"I don't want you to go."_

 _"I don't want to do a lot of things in life." She seethed._

 _"You're going to be away from me—"_

 _"I'm not your damn property!" She screamed, waving around her silk pajamas in her hands. "I'm your girlfriend, not your fucking dog." Her hazel eyes were glinting with something dangerous. My hands balled into fists and I ground my teeth. "Why is it always have to be on your damn turf? I'm adapting back into this lifestyle after so many years so we could be together, yet you do shit for me!"_

 _"What the hell are you talking about?" I shouted back at her insinuation._

 _"Why is it you give me such a big problem the moment I mention my old life style. Why can't you fucking understand and adapt to the changes I have to go through for a while!" Her hair flew around her face and her face was flushed red with the heat of her blood. "Instead you're making this a big fucking deal—"_

 _"Because you're going to be away from anywhere from three weeks to three months!" My voice resonated throughout my house and she started to shake._

 _"I don't see you doing anything to ease this process so unless you have something smart to say for once, fuck off, Edward." She bared her teeth at me and slammed her luggage, carrying it out into the car._

That day she stayed at Rose's so that she could see her off at the airport. Everyone but me went, does that make me an asshole? Fuck yes it does. There was no grown up Edward, I was still an obsessive kid that felt like he had to be around Bella to make sure she was real and not a figment of my imagination. I had a problem letting go and due to my anger, I didn't see her off to New York. Rosalie almost chewed my head off, especially since she recently gave birth and had almost no hours of sleep.

By the end of the week, the anger that had built up inside me that day, waned and I was left with a swelling feeling in my chest. I missed Bella with everything in me, I felt a tug at my heart whenever I would go to tell her something and realize she wasn't there. Giving in, I tried to call her except she purposely rejected every single one of my calls. It would ring twice and then it would be re-directed to her voicemail. That action sparked anxiety in my chest and an even bigger sense of loss. I was so used to having access to her and at least having her curse me out when she was mad, that this abyss of nothing—no communication—left me more worried than I could have predicted.

By the weekend, a few days after her departure, I bought a very expensive one way ticket and was on the plane to New York. When I got there, the rush of the city did surprise me. Everyone was nearly running by and cars were blaring their horns at one another. I had realized that I didn't know where Bella even lived so I had to call Rosalie, who surprisingly was on my side and was glad that I finally gave into my senses.

 _Making my way up the stairs, I stood outside the dark brown door and took a deep breath, tightening my fingers around the stems. I knocked twice on the door and held my breath, waiting, until I heard the sound of heels clicking along the floor. The door opened and Bella's beautiful face appeared._

 _Her face was made up to perfection, her hair was rolled into a fancy hairstyle on top of her head and she had on a nice dress that accentuated her figure with heels on her feet. Her expression was completely priceless. Her mouth was parted in obvious surprise, her eyebrows shot up into her hairline and her golden eyes were so wide, they almost took up her whole face. My lips quirked up and I presented her the bouquet of red roses._

 _"Edward…what are you doing here?" She asked._

 _"What do you think?" I nudged to my luggage behind me and she frowned._

 _"I'm not done yet with what I have to do." She released the door and crossed her arms across her chest. "And for someone that didn't come to see their supposed girlfriend off, you have no right to be here." She took a step back, ready to close the door and I stepped forward, maintaining my distance from crossing through the threshold. I didn't want to invade her space and make her feel uncomfortable._

 _"I know you're not done. I came to apologize." I whispered. "I know what I said and how I acted was out of line. Especially with not seeing you off. I should have buried the hatchet and gone to say goodbye."_

 _"No shit." She rolled her eyes._

 _"But you were right and I realized that every time you rejected my phone calls." I gave her a look and she pressed her arms tighter, snorting._

 _"You deserved more than that you jerk off." Ignoring her jab, I continued._

 _"You've done a lot for us, even so far as returning back to Forks." I said. "But in order to commit yourself to the future, I understand you have to part with your life here, yet I wasn't supporting you."_

 _"If you realized that now then congratu-fucking-lations."_

 _"I don't do much and I don't make things easier so I decided to come here to New York." I said firmly. "I will live here, in this city, until you're done with whatever you have to do. I will live in a hotel room if I have to so I don't make you uncomfortable, but I do stand by something—" She rubbed her lips. "I want to be with you always so I'll come to you. I already had a leave of absence from my office but decided to work remotely on my laptop until we can return. I'll adapt to_ your _lifestyle, Bella." I kneeled on one knee, with the roses still in one hand as I took her other hand. "I'm sorry for everything. I really am so sorry for being unreasonable and for not seeing you the day you left." I pressed my lips against her warm hands and she blinked repeatedly, at loss for words. "I love you with all my heart, you know that, right, Isabella Swan? I'm not good at this but I'll keep trying until I get it right."_

 _"Edward—" I stared into her eyes, appreciating every second that I could. I had missed her so much. My heart suddenly didn't feel as heavy, my stomach wasn't as empty and my chest felt lighter. The smell off her skin filled my nose and I felt in a daze._

 _"I love you, Bella." I repeated. "I'm sorry, please forgive me." I was technically groveling. I realized that all the time we've been together I have never once done this. I haven't taken an initiative this serious with her but if it's to be with her then I'll do this as many times as I have to. "Please, baby."_

 _"You stupid asshole." She muttered. "I haven't forgiven you just yet." She ripped her hand from mine and I glanced up, confused. She stood there with a smirk. "You're going to have to work your ass off. And if you ever do some stupid crap like that again, I promise you I will forget all about you." I snapped up in a fluid motion and stared at her with mild panic._

 _"I won't."_

 _"Good."_

 _"I'll come here and apologize everyday if I have to."_

 _"I hope so."_

True to her word, the little vixen did not allow me to stay in her home the first two weeks and I came every single day to apologize. She made me grovel for a while until she was fully satisfied. When I moved in with her, I saw that her lifestyle was completely different than in Forks. She was busier than usual and in a rush most of the time. Alice eventually came and we stayed in New York for about two months. The apartment sold pretty fast because there were already people interested since it was an apartment in Manhattan and Bella told me that alone was a point of interest for people. After all the time away, everyone was glad to see us together again—especially Esme who shed so many tears—and Bella instantly came back to our place.

Pulling my head out of memory lane, I pulled into the empty spot in the driveway in Rose's place. I shut the car door and knocked on the door, where Rosalie opened up. Her skin was pale as usual but she was smiling knowingly.

"Nice to see you."

"I was expected?"

"Something like that." She said mindlessly. "Me and Bella bet how long it would take you to realize she was here." She shrugged. "I said before three p.m. and she said after." I glanced at the clock and saw it was one fifty-five.

"I just made you quick cash." She beamed from ear to ear and nodded.

"Quick and easy." I followed her into the living room where a ball of blonde curls attacked me. I glanced down and saw a little blonde glob gripping my legs. I laughed and instantly bent down to pick her up and hold her at eye level.

"Hi Aria, how's Uncle Edward's little princess?" I cooed at the little girl with so much honey. Her crystal gray eyes were a clear indicator that she was Rosalie's child but her mane of curls also had Emmett entwined with her. She was an absolutely gorgeous little girl that laughed at everything and radiated warmth. "You're so big now!" I said and she gave a raspberry, laughing madly. For a one and a half year old she walking with no problem, but she couldn't speak too well. Only basic words.

Rosalie looked at us with such love in her eyes that I might melt. She loved her little girl more than anything and even through the sleepless nights she never once complained. She adapted into the role of a mother so well that it seemed as if it were made for her. She had her maternity leave and after three months she returned to work as a teacher, leaving the baby to Esme to care for her.

"Is Aunt Bella here?" I whispered and her little eyes glittered like fairy dust at the mention of her aunt. She clapped repeated and kicked her little chubby legs. "Let's go find her." I whispered again and slowly walked into the living room where Bella sat with her hands on her lap and her beautiful smile on her face as she stared at us. Aria kicked her legs for me to let her down and she raced to Bella, crashing into her legs and carefully placing her hands on top of her stomach. She tilted her head up at her aunt and had her eyes all wide.

"Baby." Bella said softly. "Your little cousin is in here, Aria." She pressed her hands softly against the baby's and hummed happily. Her face was a little fuller but it emanated such radiance and beauty that I found myself falling in love with her again. I made my way to her and pressed my hand against her bulging stomach and kissed her lips. Bella smiled against my lips and pressed one hand against my cheek with a hum in response.

"None of that here," Rosalie chastised jokingly. "That's what got you with the baby in the first place."

"Actually it wasn't here, but at night on the bathroom sink—"

"Bah!" Rosalie exclaimed and Bella covered her mouth to keep from laughing. "I don't need to know." I took a seat beside Bella, lounging my arm behind her as I kept my other hand firmly on her stomach. It was this need that I had to always be close to her and the baby. Perhaps my obsession has moved onto my child as well. "Work must've been boring for you to come out early."

"I finished my presentation earlier than imagined so I was told to leave." I quickly turned my face to the woman beside me and pressed my lips into a firm line. "Speaking of leaving," I started and she groaned. "Where is your phone?"

"I know, I know." She sighed. "I completely forgot. When I got to Alice's I realized that I left my phone."

"Clearly amnesia is a trait of your pregnancy." Rosalie murmured sarcastically with Aria on her lap. She played with her little fingers and bounced her legs so she could laugh.

"Ah screw you, Rose." Bella retorted and Rosalie laughed.

"You guys are going now?" She asked without any other inclination and we nodded.

"Yeah."

"And here I thought you would wait until Emmett got home." She sighed.

"You're seeing us tomorrow." I protested and she brightened.

"Oh yes, the gender reveal party. I'm so excited!" Rosalie clapped and Aria looked up at her curiously before imitating her mother's movements.

"I can't wait until you all know." Bella said, entwining our hands. Rosalie's grin became less intense but it looked warmer and more genuine.

"It took a lot to get here." She said softly. "Ten years ago you left Bella, you were a womanizing a-hole Edward and I was a blubbering mess." She rocked Aria who was on top of her knees and kissed her head. "Now look at us. I'm a mother, married to a wonderful man, you two are together, engaged and on the route to being parents." Bella and I looked at each other and smiled.

"Tell us about it. I didn't think life would pan out this way."

"None of us did." Bella added. "When you're young, you don't think that far ahead but seeing how we all did come together, it makes me feel happy." She leaned her head against my shoulder and I kissed her temple.

"Yeah."

* * *

I turned off the engine of the car and looked over at Bella. She was staring straight ahead breathing softly and in short breaths. I reached over and grabbed her small hand in mine.

"Ready?" I asked and she licked her lips before nodding.

"Ready." Walking through the green grass and the gray headstones with various names of beloved people who are no longer part of this world. Whether mothers, fathers, children, grandparents—they all exist in one place where the living could continue to visit them.

Towards the far back, with a simple headstone that had an engraved message along with a carved angel, stood Charles Swan's grave. Bella stopped at the appropriate place and looked as if she were holding her breath.

"Dad." She greeted simply and I smiled.

"Chief Swan." I nodded my head and could imagine the faint image of him standing before us with a critical eye but a warm smile on his face. He'd be chewing his famous gum and give a casual nod back that reminded me of the cowboys in western movies.

"It's been a while." Bella exhaled. "But better late than never is the motto I've lived by." She said wryly. She put down one single white flower and suddenly her whole face looked a lot lighter, as if any troubling feelings disappeared. "I came with news. I'm pregnant." She whispered into the silent crisp air. "And I'm engaged to this buffoon." She added jokingly as she looped her arm with mine and settled her head on my shoulder. "I know this isn't how you envisioned things for me. It's all out of the traditional order." The fingers from her free hand traced a line along her bump. "You wanted me to get married before my baby came because you didn't want that to hold me back from anything, but life doesn't necessarily have a definite order. It didn't for you and mom and it doesn't for me and Edward." Her fingers skimmed over continuously, as if she was being soothed by the notion. "I'm more than happy with the way things are happening. I'm sure you would have been a great grandpa and as a part of a promise I make to you, I promise to visit you with your grandchild the next time I come."

Bella didn't come see her father often, in fact this is the second or third time since his death. It took Bella time to fully comprehend that she wasn't at fault for the misfortunes at the time and when she healed, she still felt at a distance from her father. She admitted she loved him and had grown to care for him again over the course of time that she nursed him, but because they never obtained that closure to their issues all those years ago that wound remained open. She did remember Charlie fondly and respectfully but she also emphasized that because their relationship deteriorated she was not going to hypocritically go every month to visit her father. She said it was an insult to both her and Charlie, because he would not approve of such hypocritical acts. However, when she came, she came out of her own choice and with a warm smile on her face. She usually always came to share special moments in her life and she's said that this is her way of opening up to him in the years that she couldn't. In truth, her ideologies weren't what one could call normal but it's all her—all Bella.

"Okay, dad, so remember, I'll be back so you better start the countdown." For some reason I felt the air get lighter, as if someone was finding humor in this scenario. Bella's eyes watered but she pressed her lips together and smiled. "I love you. Oh and tell mom that I love her too." Bella strongly believed that her parents were together in whatever other world existed. She would say _'Renee was a fierce woman but she was also a hopeless romantic. If she watched over me all this time she would know that my dad still loved her. I think she would forgive him if they met again because she was entirely devoted to him.'_

"Chief Swan." I bowed my head respectfully. "I promise to fulfill my job to beyond my capable abilities in keeping my family happy." I placed my hand on Bella's stomach and she placed hers on top. The small glittering diamond from her engagement ring shined and I smiled. Perhaps it was wrong to think but with the ring, I felt that in a sense she was more mine than before. _You couldn't change my obsession._

We stepped away, my arm wound around her waist and her body leaned against mine. She hummed silently and I looked down at her.

"People would think you need mental help if they saw you happily humming in a cemetery." I noted with a smirk and she tilted her head up to stick her tongue out.

"Shut up. I was peacefully thinking about what to name our baby."

"Edward, of course." I snorted and she rolled her eyes.

"As if I would name our son Edward. He needs to be his own person with his own identity." She waved her hand in the air.

"Don't you want another Edward in your life?" I suggested mockingly while wagging my eyebrows. She laughed loudly and shook her head.

"Do I look suicidal?"

"Those are hurtful words." I touched my chest dramatically.

"Cry me a river and get over it." She tossed back and I smirked. _As feisty as ever._

"Have you been getting your proper nutrients?" I casually asked avoiding eye contact and I immediately heard her groan in irritation. "What?" I asked innocently, meeting her blazing glare.

"Will you stop asking me that already? I thought we went through this!" She exclaimed exasperated.

"It never hurts to ask, I like to make sure you're eating."

"It's not just me anymore, Edward." She explained, ticked. "The baby makes me hungrier than ever." When we got together, I got on Bella's case about eating. After watching her bulimia first hand, I decided that that would be the first thing I help her overcome. Since she started it again at that time, it was hard for her to keep any solid food down for some time. Jasper and Carlisle explained that it was part of the process until she fully recovered since she was purging her food back up. "You can go check up on me with Jasper if you'd like." I gave her a faint teasing smile and she playfully rolled her eyes. Jasper checked up on her from time to time to make sure everything was going well and it didn't hurt that he was my good friend and I had him on speed dial.

"I believe you, sheesh, you drama queen. Speaking of which," I took a different direction for our topic of conversation. "It seems Jasper might finally have a chance with Alice."

"She probably told you she eventually would, didn't she?" I nodded and she giggled. "That doesn't mean today or tomorrow. Bless his patient heart." She shrugged.

"You know, I'm surprised Rose wasn't livid when you asked Alice to be the godmother of our son rather than her." I stopped at the passenger side and bent over to open the door for my fiancée. Gripping her delicate, yet swollen hand, she made her way carefully into the car and I shut the door when she was settled. Making my way over to the driver's side I got in and started the car.

"I'm sure she was a little hurt, but she understood. Alice has literally been there by my side it felt only natural." She answered. "Besides, Rose already made me promise her that she'd be godmother of our next kid." I started laughing as I pulled out of the cemetery.

"She works fast." I murmured, setting up the heating system so Bella could ride comfortably. I didn't want her to get cold, especially during these chilly weeks that we've had. "Well then, we should shortly get started on baby number two." I briefly turned to her and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively making her burst out in laughter. And I don't mean a cute little laugh either, I mean full blown, head thrown back, occasional weird and awkward noises type of laughter. It was the sound Bella hated more than anything but I enjoyed. Her _ugly laugh_ as she called it meant she was happy from the bottom of her heart. It was a sound I heard when we were little, little, kids and eventually disappeared over time. Since we came back from New York it's been more present.

"How about—" She trembled from the shaking of her laughter as she tried to balance herself. Her golden eyes were alight with enjoyment and her lips were stretched from ear to ear. "We wait until our son's born first. Babies are a handful, you know."

"Mhm." I agreed making a quick left. "But if he's like us then we are in for having a fun parenting experience."

"Oh god," she moaned, shaking her head. "If he's anything like us then it'll be interesting."

"We'll show him love though. Not anything weird or twisted but just plain love." She nodded.

"Is it weird to say that I'm nervous about being a mother?" I shook my head.

"No. Not at all." I replied calmly. "I think every parent is nervous because it is something new."

"It's not like we were the best examples of kids." She mumbled and I smirked.

"I had a pretty good childhood, I don't know what you're talking about." I chirped and I felt a sharp slap on my arm making me laugh. Glancing over, I saw Bella pouting with her bottom lip pursed out and her nose scrunched up in an adorable manner. I took her slapping hand and entwined our fingers, kissing the top of it with my lips. "No, we weren't but I think that will serve us in parenting. We can use our mistakes to guide him and however many more we have."

"I am not a baby machine, Edward Anthony." She stuck her tongue out. "We'll find a balance then to not be too lenient—"

"Like my parents were at some point." I interjected. There was a time I could do whatever I feel like and not get in trouble like normal kids would.

"Or too strict or restricting." She finished. "Like my dad."

"Exactly, right in between. And we don't have to get it right immediately."

"So in other words, perhaps we can't leave the past in the past just yet." Bella's lips twitched playfully with a mischievous glint in her eye. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Apparently not, baby." Her eyes warmed up and her smile spread widely as her fingers tightened around mine.

"I love you, you stupid ass."

"And I still love you, you stupid girl. Now let's go see my mom before she has a stroke."

"I'll blame the lateness on you." She shrugged, staring right back at the road in front of us.

"Of course." I drawled. "When did you not blame things on me?" She winked and gave a cynical grin as we drove along. It didn't feel like a novelty to be driving down the street with Bella in my car and my baby in her stomach. It felt like it was something that took too long to happen. After so many years and tears and laughter, everything for once felt in complete balance. There was no mysterious, anxious feeling of what would happen tomorrow or the lingering question of when Bella disappeared. For once, I didn't wonder, I just lived daily and didn't question anything. I squeezed my hand around our entwined fingers to get her attention and felt her look over at me. "Bella." I said and I took a glimpse at her curious eyes. "You're mine." I repeated the mantra of all these years. A moment passed and I felt the silent whooshing of the car driving by and the pounding of my heart. Suddenly the car air got lighter and a little giggle escaped her lips.

"I'm yours." I felt her body lean over and I snapped around, startled. She carefully stretched over so that one of her hands encased my cheek.

"Be care—"

"You know, you're mine too." Her eyes were knowing and I turned my gaze back to the road, only to stop at a red light. _Thank god._ The sound of hearing my phrase thrown back at me was such a wonderful, filling, feeling.

I grinned. "I'm yours, Ms. Swan." Taking the quick limited chance I had, I stretched and kissed the tip of her nose and made sure she gently settled back in her seat comfortably. The light turned green and I started the car. _Oh trust me, Bella, I've been yours since the day our eyes met. Since before I could speak or form a coherent thought in my head._ My thoughts remained to myself but for some reason I had a feeling that our thoughts were along the same lines.

 **Fin**


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